The Only Light in the Darkness
by Thegumgum
Summary: AU where everyone sees in black and white until they met their soul mate.
1. The Darkness

**This is my new story. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I didn't own anything. All rights to Marvel.**

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><p><strong>1 : The Darkness<strong>

They didn't know how this happen to humanity. They used to see the world in colour until God decided to take this most precious gift from them. After centuries and centuries they turned the world into cruel and evil place. The world was now in only black and white, as if to make them suffered for their own mischief. The only way to be rid of this curse was when you met your soulmate, met the right partner.

Your soulmate is the only person on this earth that will make you see the world on colour again. The only person that when you look them in the eyes for the first time will give back the power of colour.

It was a rare chance for people to find their true soulmate.

Most people only found their 'life mate'. Your life-mate was the person who you met, shared the life experiences that form a strong bond between two people and those two people genuinely loved one another from who they really are.

A soulmate had a deeper bond and deeper level of connection than life-mate. Once you met your true soulmate, the bond will bind both of you within second; you couldn't run, you couldn't hide, and you couldn't deny it.

The same curse had no exception even the earth mightiest heroes had to suffer the same thing.

Even the world was rotten to hell and still a villain tried to conquer it every single day; As if the black and white vision wasn't bad enough! This time it was Loki leading an army of aliens called the Chitauri.

The Avengers managed to save the day. The team consisted of five members; Ironman or Tony Stark, The Hulk or Dr. Bruce Banner, Thor the lightning god, Hawkeye or Clint Barton and Black Widow or Natasha Romanoff.

It was a hard fight but they managed to win the war. SHIELD had to use all their forces to clean up the mess in New York. Stark Tower was almost destroyed but now renovated to become a home of the Avengers.

Thor transported Loki back to Asgard to face the Asgardian justice for his crimes against the Nine Realms. The god promised to come back as soon as he finished his business with Loki.

Clint and Natasha had to go back to SHIELD immediately after the battle. Fury tasked Hawkeye for a scout mission in Europe for potential recruits while Natasha remained in SHIELD and helped Fury and Hill handle the cleanup in New York.

Three months after the incident, the Avengers reunited again for the opening of Stark Tower. Tony invited everyone to live in the tower and specially designed the six top floors for each member to have their own space.

Everyone agreed to this because they knew Tony wouldn't give up asking them. Natasha only agreed because of Pepper nicely asking her to move in; she couldn't handle this much of testosterone in one building alone.

The welcome party was held when everyone finally moved in and Clint was back from Europe.

"Legolas! Welcome back, buddy" Tony greeted and hugged Clint

"Hey, Stark, still your pretty usual flamboyant self." The archer shot back and Tony smiled.

"I designed the top floor for you buddy but I didn't know which colour you like the most…."

"Don't worry, man. I know only two colours in my entire life."

Clint received a very warm welcome from everyone and the last one was Natasha who hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

"You're still alive."

"What the hell was that supposed to mean, Nat?"

"Just kidding" Nat said, "I'm glad that you're back."

"It's good to be back."

Everyone enjoyed the little party. Tony and Pepper introduced the team to James Rhodes or the War Machine who will join the team the next time they faced a global catastrophe. Rhodey quickly blended in with the group. Mostly because everyone couldn't stand Tony Stark.

Thor already came back from Asgard and brought Jane and Darcy along with him, not to mention that the astrophysicist saw colour again because of Thor which brought them to the subject of soulmates and life-mates again.

"What is it like, Stark?" Natasha asked curiously "To see the colour again and not having to live in black and white?"

"It's great, actually. I feel alive again. I can see you guys wearing very stupid matching clothes."

"I never heard your case before, Stark." Clint spoke up "I'm not sure that the curse worked that way. I don't believe in a life-mate

"What why, Clint?" Nat asked because she'd only heard of the word soulmate.

"The curse was that humans had to live in black and white until they found their soul-mate." Bruce told "Tony knew Pepper for a long time but they didn't see the colour right away."

"It was like a light flickering sometimes." Tony explained "Sometimes I thought I see colours but nah, it just black and white. Until that day I kiss her after the Stark expo incident and everything blow up. My only conclusion is that, in my case, I have to find someone who share the same life experience and truly love me from who I really am. That's why I consider myself a lucky man."

"In conclusion, people started to mix the concept of soul-mate and life-mate together because they couldn't tell the difference between those two words." Bruce explained "It was already hard to find the person who can give the color back to your life so people tend to ignore the categorization."

Bruce himself already saw the colours too. He'd already met his soulmate, Betty Ross; but due to the Hulk inside him, Bruce preferred to stay away from her because he was afraid of hurting her. It was the most painful thing to do. Lucky enough for them, Bruce and Betty already bond in the deepest level. They no longer felt the searing pain from being away from one another or lose the ability to see colour.

Thor was immune to the curse because he wasn't from this earth but Jane seemed to see colour again because of Thor. Tony quickly classified it as life-mate. Jane could be ten meters apart from Thor but if more than that her vision will return back to black and white. They shared a kiss but no deeper level of intimacy. That was why her vision turns to black and white again if she was away from Thor.

Tony and Pepper had their colour vision back permanently. Their bond was completed because they shared the deepest level of intimacy with one another. They could be apart from each other and basically got their normal lives back.

For Clint and Natasha, the two master assassins still had their visions in black and white. Clint was more hopeful than Natasha who accepted the fact that she might not find her soulmate, let alone life-mate, especially after all the bad things she did while with red room.

Nat lost her hope and learned to accept the truth. She will die in this sorrowful world without a chance to see colour again.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & **internetangie****

**-Please kindly leave a review. Let me know what you think about the concept of the story. PLEASEEEE :)**

**- Next chapter will be up soon.**


	2. The Lost Soldier

**Thank for the reviews from the previous chapter guys! It's mean a lot.**

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><p><strong>2 : The Lost Soldier<strong>

"Sir! We found it." One agent reported from his station. "The arctic team just reported back."

Fury walked to the agent and read the message showing on the screen. It was a report about the latest SHIELD search mission.

"Get me, Coulson." The director ordered. "Hill, you have the bridge."

"Yes, sir"

Fury went to his office on the helicarrier and waited for his right hand man to arrive. Three minutes later, Coulson emerged through the door.

"Agent, I have a mission for you."

"What is it, sir?"

"We found him."

The director handed Coulson a file. The agent's eyes widened as he flipped the paper and read all the details.

"Your quinjet will leave when you are ready. Romanoff will accompany you to the site too."

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><p>The two SHIELD agents landed at the searching site in the Arctic. It was freezing and windy. Natasha froze on the spot for a second as a flashback of her old life danced in her mind. Coulson called her and pulled her out of her deep trench of thought.<p>

"What exactly are we doing at this arctic wasteland?" Natasha asked boringly as her eyes asserted the place "Don't tell me we found another Asgardian weapon fall from the sky and no one can move it."

"Fury didn't tell you?"

"Fury told me shit and you know that." The spy rolled her eyes "He only said that I should accompany you to the site in case shit happens."

Coulson couldn't help but smiled fondly at the woman. He knew she was never fond of the cold and snow because it reminded her of Russia and her time doing all the bad things one man could imagine.

He still remembered the moment Barton told him he would bring her in rather than to kill her as he was assigned.

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><p><strong><em>Ten years ago<em>**

"She was just a child, Phil." Clint said harshly over the phone.

"Barton, if it's that you see color again because you found her..."

"You are not listening to me, Phil. She's just a teenager. She still has a lot of her life to live."

"She's dangerous, Barton. How many lives has she ended?"

"People can change, Phil. Everyone deserves a second chance. She wants to defect. Think about it, Phil. The great Black Widow will be Fury's most valuable asset."

He made a decision to let Hawkeye bring her in. On the way back to the Triskellion, Clint had his opportunity to ask her a lot of questions and he could tell that she gave him a truthful answer. Somewhere deep within he didn't fully trusted her, knowing that she lied for a living, but he knew she was a good person deep down.

Of course, Fury gave them an hour of yelling and lecturing them both. He wasn't trusting any word that Natasha said. Fury, Coulson and Clint were in the director office.

"I told you to kill her, Barton!"

"She is just a teenager, sir." Clint replied

"A lethal teenager who was trained by Red Room and killed dozens of people. She's the one behind the hospital fire in Sao Paulo too."

"Barton and I agree that she will be a valuable asset to our organization. She has no desire to work for them anymore." Coulson informed.

"How could you two be so sure that she's not gonna betray us?" Fury asked, "She's a god damn spy and you two brought her right into our organization."

"Sir, give her one chance and if you really don't want her, we will execute her for her crimes." Coulson suggested

Fury gave them both a huff of frustration when two of his most trusted agents decided to go against him at the same time.

"What do you think, Hill?" Fury turned to his right hand agent.

"In terms of strategic moves, we add one highly train agent to our payroll. On the other hand, judging by her record and her origin, we shouldn't trust her."

"Everyone needs a second chance." Clint said.

Fury inhaled sharply, "Fine, bring her in. I have something to ask her before I make a decision."

Two agents, fully armed, escorted Nat into the office. The great Black Widow and her notorious crimes exceeded her but no one thought she was only seventeen years old.

"Sit down." Fury ordered and Natasha was sitting down in the chair opposite to him. Clint and Phil stood behind to support Natasha.

"Director, I want to do something good with my life now." She said, "I have had enough of what Red Room made me do."

"I don't trust you, Romanoff."

"I will earn it. It isn't easy to trust someone with my reputation."

"Barton, Coulson, I place her under your supervision. Hawkeye will prepare you for our normal recruit assessment, mentor you and guide you around SHIELD. Coulson will be your handler after you pass our test."

"Thank you, sir."

Fury gave them a nod and released the three of them. Once outside the director's office, Coulson spoke up.

"Congratulation, Agent Romanoff! You are now an agent of SHIELD."

After Natasha passed every test with the highest score, she fully worked with SHIELD and slowly earned the trust and respect from everyone until she became one of the most trusted agents of Director Fury. She became Hawkeye's partner and closest friend.

She came so far from when they brought her in. Phil admitted that he was very proud of her, like a father seeing his daughter succeed. It was almost ten years since that day.

"What the hell was that?" Natasha's voice brought him back from his memory as they were standing in front of a gigantic aircraft being lifted up by a giant crane.

"So the legend around shield is true." Coulson said "It's an aircraft HYDRA planned to use to destroy the world in World War II"

Before Nat could ask something else, one agent reached them with something in his hand.

"Sir, we found this." The agent handed him a rounded shape shield.

Nat leaned closer to look at it, "Is that…?"

"Captain America's shield."

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><p>The two agents stayed at the site longer than they expected. Natasha and Coulson even joined the searching team on the hunt for Captain America. They found his shield which mean he must be somewhere around this place.<p>

They put on their arctic gear and went off the campsite every morning with the team.

"Do you think we can find him here?" Nat asked and looked at the small monitor in Coulson's hands. "I mean, he could be anywhere. It's been three days since we started searching for him."

"SHIELD labs simulated the event and they concluded that the Captain was likely immediately froze in the ice since he landed the plane."

"We came too far from the crashing site. Maybe we came in the wrong direction." Nat said as they stood at the bottom of giant ice cliff.

They looked around and there was no sign of any living form around here.

"We've had no luck today." Coulson concluded "It's a dead end here. All right, team! We're heading back to the camp!"

Nat couldn't be happier because she hated being in the cold as much as hitting the dead end. But the moment she turned away, Natasha saw something in the corner of her eye which made her whip her head around to look.

Her eyes widened when she saw a star embedded on a suit. She couldn't identify the color but from the file it said he was wearing red, white and blue.

"Coulson! Is that him?"

Natasha pointed at the guy in the ice. Coulson rushed in and his eyes went wide.

"Get me the team!"

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><p>They were able to remove the captain from the ice and transport him back to the camp for the defrosting process. The medical team told Coulson that the procedure was very delicate and must take a lot of caution. They also gave him an estimated time before they could take the Captain back to the Triskellion for more medical attention.<p>

"It will take two more days, sir." The head medical staff told, "We want to make sure that his condition is clear for transport."

"Take all the time you need."

Coulson took his duty to keep his watch over the process while Natasha, too bored to just keep watching one man, took off with the searching team to investigate the aircraft and other wreckages. They managed to recover some old weapons and the aircraft's power source.

Natasha came back in the evening and met up with Coulson for dinner.

"How is the whole defrosting thing?" She asked.

"It's going well. He will be ready for transporting back by tomorrow." The agent replied "You look happy."

"Of course, I am beyond elated that we finally will head back to the city. I hate this place as much as I hate Russia. There is too much white that could blind me. I have enough white in my eyes I don't need the freaking snow to remind me that I haven't found my soulmate yet."

"You will find him one day, Natasha." Coulson told, "Thing like this takes time."

"I hope so. No one wants to die in this black and white world." Natasha said, "I don't know. I've been losing hope lately."

"Don't lose your hope." Coulson patted her shoulder before changing the subject, "You wanna watch the defrosting procedure."

"Nah, it's your job watching him, not mine."

"Suit yourself." Coulson said, "We will leave tomorrow with him."

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><p>Captain America was ready for transporting back to the Triskellion on the next day. They will be traveling back to the city by the medical quinjet because the Captain still need to be stabilized on the life support machine.<p>

Coulson was talking to the pilot while Natasha sat at her seat, all the while kept her watch at the back cargo where the medical team was working. The curiosity finally took over her. She told herself that she will not curious about the Captain because that was Coulson's job. He was always be a Captain America fan and Natasha found it was quite hilarious.

To be honest, Clint and her had a very good time teasing the agent.

She walked into the medical section. The medical team greeted her and got back to work.

"How was he?" She asked.

"He's doing great. His vital signs are stable but the current process needs a lot of attention and we need to keep him at the right temperature at all time."

Nat looked at the sleeping Captain. All right, she was interested in him now. It was her habit of observing and needing to know everything. She finally gave in and raised her hand to touch his face.

"He's still cold." She said.

"Yes, his body temperature is still lower than normal people."

Nat looked at him one more time and touched his face again out of her curiosity. His blonde locks were messy. Wait! Blonde! WAIT!

The spy blinked her eyes and jerked her hand back from him. She stumbled backward and shook her head repeatedly. She overcame the shock and realized her vision was still in black and white.

"Are you alright, agent Romanoff?" The chief medical asked.

"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy."

Nat walked out of the medical bay immediately and sat back at her seat, trying to set her mind with the conclusion that it was just something her brain made up.

It was just an illusion.

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><p>They arrived at the Triskellion and they put Captain Rogers into the medical ward. Fury himself came over to oversee the settling. The Avengers knew about this too because the Captain would be joining their team after he woke up.<p>

Natasha opposed to this idea and she made her point very clear that the team didn't need more members as their current state was hard enough to maintain peace over the group. Another reason was they didn't know when the Captain woke up, he was still the same person who went under. He could be mentally damage by all those bad memories, tragedies and war.

The Avengers didn't need another mentally damaged person in the team.

Yeah, she knew all this pains and nightmares that haunted them, the veteran of war. She'd been through hell before. With the way Red Room trained her, the way they took her brain out and stuffed something else inside her head changing her to their use. It's a nightmare and she was glad that Clint pulled her out of that hell.

Some part in her wanted Clint to be her soulmate, after all this year they were working together, fought together and shared the same experience but then again, he wasn't the right one for her. She loved him like a brother, the only family member she had left.

Well, she'd been too deep in her thought and losing focus.

Since they put the captain in a SHEILD medical ward, every Avengers member came to visit the famous super soldier in his sleep. Bruce Banner was very happy to finally get his hands on Steve's blood so he could figure out the right formula to the serum.

Tony Stark had to be here to see the legend his father never shut up about. He grew up with the tales of the great Captain America.

Clint dragged her with him the other day because he felt weird to come visit a guy sleeping alone. They were just stood next to his bed and looking at him. There was something about the Captain that made the two agents felt overwhelm with patriotism.

"He's very young." Clint noted "He missed the chance to live his life."

"I know." Natasha replied "Not everyone can get what they want, Barton."

"What do you think? How he would react to all of this?"

"I don't know. Hope he's friendly. I seriously cannot handle another superpower right now after what went down in New York."

"He will be friendly. He's Captain America."

Sometimes, Nat hoped she could one day be so optimistic like Clint.

What surprised her the most was that she visited the captain the most. Well, maybe a little less than Coulson. She found herself gravitated around the captain. She didn't know why but she liked to sit in silence in his room.

Nat thought that she did it out of curiosity.

Fury didn't want his best agent to just sit around doing nothing. He sent her and Clint on an escort mission. It was an easy one, just to make sure that he arrived unharmed at the embassy.

"Well, this one was easy." Clint spoke up as he drove the car back to SHEILD.

"Yeah, I love it when things are this easy." His partner replied, "World's suck enough for us."

"Stop whining, Widow. I know you can't wait to watch Captain America sleeping."

"Haha" She laughed sarcastically, "His room was the quietest place in SHIELD and I like to sit in silence without hearing you sass with me, Clint."

Clint was about to open his mouth to retaliate when "All agent, code 13!"

The distress call came from their radio in the car.

"Showtime!" Clint exclaimed and stepped up the gas.

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><p>The captain's recovery room had no visitor today. It's been a quiet day at SHEILD and someone who had been asleep for seventy years finally woke up.<p>

His long eyelashes waved as he began to stir. He had a very familiar voice inside the room he was in. The bed he was laying was more soft and warm than he remembered. The last time he slept, he only remembered being surrounded by icy water before everything stopped,

"Curve ball, high and outside for ball one."

He blinked and slowly opened his eyes. The intense blue orbs showed confusion for mere second until he fully registered of what happening around him.

"So the Dodgers are tied, 4-4"

His eyebrows frowned when he heard the baseball game currently aired via radio.

"This fellow's capable of making it a brand-new game again. Just an absolutely gorgeous day here at Ebbets field."

He slowly looked around the room and inhaled the smell of the room. It was cleaner than he remember the hospital in the 40's, they didn't smell this clean. He looked around but everything seemed to be the way he used to remember.

"The Phillies have managed to tie it up at 4-4. Pearson beaned Reiser in Philadelphia last month. Wouldn't the youngster like a hit there to return the favor?"

He slowly moved his body, started with his arms, then his legs and then rolled himself over to get up from his bed. He was dressed in SSR white t-shirt and a khaki pants. Something felt odd, he thought to himself while sat himself right up, something wasn't right.

The blonde man tried to think back of everything. Something's not right!

"Pete leans in. Here's the pitch. Swung on. A line to the right and it gets past Rizzo."

He quickly turned to the opened window and heard a horn of a car from the street. He looked at the radio that continued to air the game. There's something wrong with this place. His instinct steamed a warning.

The door opened and the women with brown hair and wearing military uniform came in and brought his deep thought back to the reality. The woman chanted him a friendly smile but he knew something's wrong.

"Good morning" She greeted as she closed the door. "Or should I say afternoon?"

He didn't reply but stared at her. His guard was up and his instincts kicked in. He didn't trust her.

"Where am I?" He asked, a of bit hostility in his voice.

"You're in a recovery room in New York City."

He silenced and listened to the game again and looked out the window.

"Where am I really?" He asked her again because he knew she was lying.

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"The game. It's from May 1941. I know, 'cause I was there."

The woman's face changed in instant. He was right. She was lying so he got up and crept toward her in a very threatening way.

"Now I'm gonna ask you again. Where am I?"

"Captain Rogers…"

"Who are you?!"

The door opened again and this time it was two big guys, fully armed. He realized he was captured by enemy so he did the only thing he knew. Survive. He threw the two men though the wall created enough room for him to escape. His recovery room was a set up as the outside of his room was clearly from another time. He began to run and heard the woman called after him.

"Captain Rogers, wait!" But he'd ran out the door already. "All agents, Code 13!"

He ran out to the hallway and found men in suits and armed, everywhere. They all turned to him and began to chase after him. He quickly got out of the building, pushing everyone out of his way. He made it to the street in front of the building where he was shot in the leg and the arrow became a tangled rope tied his legs and someone kicked him. He fell to the ground and that person straddled his waist.

"You shouldn't run" A female voice sounded and Steve looked up at her.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse & internetangie**

**-Please kindly leave a review. Let me know what you think about how the story progress so far and do you like the how the story go or not. PLEASEEEE :)**


	3. The Soul Mate

**3 : The soul mate**

"Who the hell are you?" He asked, trying to get off the restraint of rope around his body.

She had a sly smile on her face as she pinned him down by pressing her knee hard to his throat. Their eyes met and he noticed that her beautiful green eyes was like a sea of emerald.

Wait…green…what!

His eyes went wide and he saw she did the same. It couldn't be! This was not real. How could he see colour again? It was not possible. He woke up to see black and white again after he decided to leave someone important behind.

Then all the colour almost too bright for him he thought it could blind his eyes. Her hair was a fiery red colour. Her skin was pale but her plump lips were red. He couldn't take his eyes of her, still wasn't believe that he was able to saw the colour again.

"Who are you?" Steve asked confusingly. His eyebrow frowned

"What did you do to me?" Nat asked back and pushed herself away from him

But the searing pain erupted inside them and Captain America pulled her back until their bodies were within a few inches from each other.

How the hell is this happen? Natasha thought to herself as she looked at the man who brought the ability to see colour back to her again. How could this be possible? She saw him before but it didn't make her see colour except that one time she thought she saw colour again.

You will know someone is your soul mate once you looked them into the eyes for the first time and the colour began to slowly come back into your life, Bruce once told her and that explained everything.

Finally, it was her turn. She finally found another half of her life and someone who might fall in love with her.

His hair was the exact same golden shade she thought she saw. His intense deep blue eyes and a very long eyelashes that she secretly wanted to run her finger on it. He was a very handsome, she gotta admit it.

But their stunned moment was interrupted by a rush footstep. Hawkeye rushed to his partner and he drew his arrow pointed at Captain America.

"Nat, what happened?" Clint asked "Let go of her." The archer told the Captain.

Steve let go of her but Natasha didn't remove herself from his side, afraid of the pain. The spy turned to him with a terrified look in her eyes

"I see colour again." She told her partner.

Clint could visibly see that both of them were really terrified by this fact. He couldn't do anything either but then Director Fury showed up with an army of agents behind him. Steve's protective instinct kicked in and he pushed Natasha behind him.

"At ease, soldier. We aren't going to hurt you or anyone."

The man stood in front of Steve was wearing black trench coat and had an eye patch on. Steve and Natasha stood up on their feet as the man approached. Many armed men pointed their gun at Steve as they saw the captain had the Black Widow with him.

"Where the hell am I?" Steve asked, still kept Natasha behind him.

"That's one of my agents you're holding hostage." The one eye man noted.

"Sorry, I didn't know." The soldier replied, maintaining his hostile tone.

"Look, I'm sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly."

Steve frowned, confused, "Break what?" His voice was a little shaken.

"You've been asleep, Cap." The man answered "For almost 70 years."

That was when everything hit Steve and it was too overwhelming. He looked around the place and started to take in everything. How much did it change from his time. His face changed into the most heartbreaking expression one could ever see.

Steve still didn't believe it. He wanted to deny everything. He wanted to believe that they were lying to him.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened his eyes again, he would wake up from this nightmare.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah" Steve replied but everyone could tell that he was lying. "Yeah, I just…" He tried to keep himself from letting tears fall from his eyes. "I had a date."

Nat could sense the sorrow within him and it almost pain her too. She didn't know how all of these feeling bubbling inside her.

"It will be okay, Cap. You need time to adjust. We will help you." Fury said, "We will help you in every step along the way."

"Thanks…"

"We will help you settle in here in SHIELD."

"Sir, I have something to tell you." Natasha decided to speak up "I see colour again"

Fury's eyes went wide.

"How?" He asked

Natasha looked at Steve, "Him…"

Fury quickly took the hint and turned to his right hand man, "Barton! Coulson! Take the Captain back to Stark Tower and help him settle in. This is complicated than we thought."

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><p>Coulson explained to the Captain about the Avengers initiative and how they were sort of living together under the same roof in Stark Tower. Steve was half listening half trapped in his own thoughts.<p>

He still tried to believe that he was waking up 70 years later from when he was crashing HYDRA plane and that he saw colour again because of this woman he heard Barton called her 'Nat'.

"Stark made his tower to be the Headquarter of the Avengers."

"Stark?" Steve asked "Is Howard…?"

"He passed away many years ago, cap. Car accident" Coulson replied.

Clint was driving while Natasha was sitting at the passenger seat beside him. She occasionally glanced at Steve who kept his eyes fix on her too. His eyes were curious but, mostly from what Natasha could read. It was mistrust and suspicion.

"He is Howard's only son. Tony Stark who inherited all the Stark's fortune. He's also one of the Avengers goes by the name Iron Man."

"You can called him 'Shell Head', 'Tin man, or 'Iron Ass' until you came up with your own nickname for him, cap." Clint said suggestively.

Steve frowned and Clint immediately shut up because the Captain seemed not to get his joke. Nat sat in silent all the way back to the tower, all the while she could feel his eyes was burning at the back of her neck.

At the tower, Fury had Hill informed all the Avengers about the current situation. Hill told them that the Captain finally awake and was in a state of confusion. Second thing was that Steve will move into the Avengers Tower earlier than the original plan and the last news was that Natasha finally found the one who brought the colour back into her life.

"Who's her soul mate?" Tony asked.

"Captain America" Hill replied.

"Holy shit!" The billionaire exclaimed "You mean, like they were destined for this. He had to wait for her for 90 something years for her!"

"Seemed to be that way, he woke up and Romanoff took him down and they saw colour again."

Pepper squealed with join. She always prayed for everyone in this little family to finally find someone like her and Tony.

"I already have one floor for him. Since Fury told me you already found him and wanted him to join the team." Tony told "I never thought he will be little red's soul mate."

"He still needs a lot of time to adjust and we counting on you guys to help him. Now that all of his connection to the past is almost gone." Hill said, "Dr. Banner, I hope you can help them with adjusting as they are soul mates and you are the only one with that kind of experience."

"I will try, Agent Hill." Bruce said, "But I need to get to know him first."

"Take all the time you need."

JARVIS informed them that Natasha, Clint, Coulson and Captain America were arrived at the tower and on their way up to the living area.

In the elevator, everyone stood quietly in an awkward silent. Clint attempted to speak something but he kept his mouth shut. Coulson stood quietly as he observed the Captain and Natasha. Steve and Natasha were just stared at each other and no one willing to break their eye contact first.

Steve stared at her because he was curious and he didn't trust the woman who proclaimed herself that she saw colour again because of him. Natasha kept her eyes fix on his only because she never be the one who break the eye contact first.

The other two men could feel the heat rising in this confined space.

The ding of the elevator sounded and the door slid opened. Coulson and Clint got out from the small space. Steve turned and headed out without saying a word to her but he reached his arm out to hold the elevator open for her.

Steve turned again to see the room filled with people. He noticed a black haired man wearing t-shirt with resemble of Howard Stark in himself. He knew right away that was his friend's son, Tony Stark, the man who owns this building. Next to him was blonde woman, well, he couldn't clearly identify the colour of her hair because he just saw it for the first time. She had a big smile on her face and was one of the friendliest face he saw today. Next to him was a man in purple shirt and grey slacks. He wore glasses and looked calm that Steve could feel himself relax around this man.

"The mighty Captain!" The last man in the room boomed a greeting "I have heard a lot of your bravest tales from the son of Coul!"

The tall blonde man with muscle body lung forward and held Steve in a bear hug.

"Let's us fight in the glorious battle to come! I would be my greatest honor!"

"Thor, don't get to excite." Natasha scolded Thor.

"Captain Rogers, this is Thor Odinson or the god of thunder." Coulson introduced.

Steve frowned and Clint leaned in to clarify things for Steve, "He's a real god, cap. He can summon lighting and fly.

"Just levitate, friend of Hawk." Thor corrected. "Mjolnir only gave me the power to levitate and transport me from place to place."

"Nice to meet you." Steve said and reached his hand out and Thor eagerly shook it.

Coulson gestured his hand to the three people, "This is tony Stark, Pepper Potts…"

"Tony's life mate." She added.

"And Dr. Bruce Banner."

Steve shook hand with all of them. His face was still confused with everything but at least, these new people were friendly enough for him.

"And these two are Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. Both are with the Avengers and SHIELD."

Steve gave them a nod. When his eyes fell on Natasha again, it didn't left her and everyone could sense the tension between them.

"Welcome to this little family, cap." Tony said immediately when he sensed the tension, "Hope you don't mind. I already prepare your own floor for you to stay."

"Thank you for your generosity, Mr. Stark."

"Just call me Tony. Mr. Stark reminds me of my dad."

"Come on, We will show you around the place." Pepper said excitingly and led everyone to the elevator.

Everyone could notice how Steve moved too quickly into the elevator after Pepper like he was trying to stay away from Natasha. The spy also moved quickly after Steve entered the elevator and her face contorted in pain.

They got out of the elevator to the floor painted mostly in blue.

"We are not sure which style you like for your apartment." Pepper told as she led all of them into the living room decorated with modern furniture.

"You can do any adjustment if you want to. Let JARVIS know and he will send a man to change everything."

"Thanks but I think this is okay." Steve said, "Who's JARVIS anyway?"

"I'm JARVIS, Captain. I will be assist you with everything in this tower. If you're not sure about anything, you can ask me right away, sir."

Steve jumped when he heard the sound coming from the wall or ceiling. He quickly recovered as he realized he was in another century and it must be a common thing around here.

Everything wasn't the same, Steve thought. His old life was gone, his old world was gone, and his friend must be all gone too. And with that thought, all the old memories began to flood into his head, drowning him with all the feeling and flashback.

"Steve!' He heard someone called his name but he didn't answer back.

He started to see old faces and people from his past coming alive in from of his eyes and reality was fading away. He saw Howard, he saw Colonel Phillips, he saw Bucky and the howling Commandos, and he saw her, Peggy.

He shut his eyes tightly to stop the image reeling in his head. He felt soft hands grab his arms. It was soothing and gentle but he couldn't stop his memory from replaying his past. Deep down he was still held tight to it and never wanted to let it go.

"Captain! Tell me what's going on!" A female voice sounded next to him. She sounded painful.

Steve felled to the ground and the last thing her saw was the beautiful green eyes of the fiery redhead before everything went black.

* * *

><p>Thor helped put Steve in his bed. Bruce and Tony had JARVIS ran some diagnosis on the captain. The AI told them that the Captain was experiencing fatigue and tiredness due to freezing in ice for over seventy years.<p>

Bruce who analyzed the captain's current mental stage told the Avengers that he might suffer from a sudden shock and denial. He must have a sudden flashback from the past.

That was what Natasha felt when she called his name. She felt the surge of memories suddenly flood his head and, because of their strange connection by the bond of their soul, she could catch a glimpse of his memory too.

"I believe you felt it too, huh?" Bruce asked as he noticed Natasha entered the Captain's bedroom. "Must be weird for you but don't worry, you will get used to it."

"There's nothing weird than god decided to make Captain America my soulmate." Natasha replied, her eyes fixed on the man who sleeping on the bed. "Did you have any experience like this with yours?"

"A little. Good thing is Betty and I figured everything out rather quickly but I guess I cannot say the same for you in your case."

"I know. He took it pretty hard when he realized he saw colour again and I am the one who make that happen." Nat took a deep breath, "To be honest, it was like he didn't want me or anything, like he already found his soul mate."

"Nonsense, Natasha. What happen to you and him was classified as soul mate. There was only one people who can make you see colour again in that instant of the situation."

Natasha didn't reply and Bruce knew something must have going on inside her head but the doctor knew her for some time now. Natasha will tell him when she's ready.

"I'm glad, you know? To finally found someone to make me see colour again and thought that he would love me as I am. But judging by his reaction."

"He needs time, Natasha. He just found out everything in his past was now gone. It shook him and we have to be the one who put him back together. YOU have to be the one who do that, as his soul mate, you can reach out to him better than any of us."

* * *

><p>Steve finally woke up again after a very long sleep. It was 10 AM in the next day. He never ever woke up this late before in his life. Everything that happen yesterday shook him to the foundation.<p>

"Greeting, Captain." JARVIS sounded "Hope you are feeling better."

"Yes, I am. Thank you."

"The other Avengers are at the living area, sir."

"Do they have any clothes for me in the closet?"

"Yes, sir."

Steve slowly got up from his bed. It was a softer bed than he had ever sleep in the past. The world still spinning on his feet as he slowly made his way to the closet. When he opened the door, he found another room, a walk-in closet. He stunned for half a minute.

"Mr. and Mrs. Stark weren't sure which type of clothes you like so they put only the simple on for you."

Steve opened the first closet to find a bunch of shirts in various colour that he still couldn't identify all the shade of it, slacks, jeans, sweats, and most of the thing that likely cover what he would have wear.

Then he found his old army uniform and some of his old clothes stored in the closet next to the first one. It brought back some good old memories and had Steve sat there and staring at them for a good half an hour.

Sometime it was really hard to let go of your past and moved on.

He sat there until JARVIS called him quietly and brought him back to reality.

"Captain, are you alright, sir?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just thought about the old day."

Steve pulled a pair of jeans and white t-shirt out and headed for the bathroom. JARVIS guided him through the sophisticated system and how to operate the hot shower correctly. Steve secretly thankful for the assistance of JARVIS or he might die by this complicate shower.

When he stepped out, he wasn't notice there was someone inside his room until her voice startled him.

"You look great in modern clothes, I must say."

Steve turned to her and saw the red head woman sitting comfortably on his bed like it was her own room. Steve frowned when he saw her but didn't say anything in reply.

"I came to see that you're doing fine." Natasha told.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

That was all he said and walked toward the closet.

"What's on your mind yesterday before you passed out?"

He stopped dead on his track before replied coldly, "It's none of your business."

"I can sense it too, you know? Those memories briefly flashed inside my head too." Natasha said "I'm your soul mate."

"No, you are not my soul mate. I don't even know you."

He didn't say anything anymore and headed for the elevator. He needed to stay away from this woman. He didn't even like her and her confident and the fact that she took him down so easily and said that she was his soul mate.

But Natasha followed him into the elevator. They stared at one another until they reached the living area. Steve broke the eyes contact first and stepped outside.

"Hey, cap!" Clint greeted from the giant television.

"Finally wakes up, old man." Tony paused the video game and turned to the new arrival.

"Morning guys."

Steve was a bit paranoid by all this people who are too nice to be true for him. Pepper sat him down at the kitchen island and made him a breakfast. Natasha just casually leaned herself against the counter and watched him.

The other members quickly gathered around Steve and it spooked the captain a little. He barely knew each of them but why they took him in like he was one of their own.

Thor sat down next to Steve and devouring his giant plate of pop tart. Tony just sipping his coffee and stuck close to his coffee machine. Bruce was making his tea and waffle. Clint, the weirdest man in Steve's mind, claimed on top of the fridge with a bag of potato chips.

"Don't mind him." Bruce said, "It always did that."

"I'm seeing better from the distance, cap." Hawkeye replied "It's what I do."

Everybody enjoyed the quiet breakfast and as soon as the last one of them finished. They moved to the couch. Steve knew something was about to come up and he quickly put all his guard up.

"So captain." Bruce spoke up, "As I am the one who in charge with the responsibility of the Avengers' health in both physical and mental. I have to ask you about what happened yesterday." The doctor said "Specifically, the moment before you began to see the colour."

They wanted to know about this soul mate thing, Steve thought in his mind.

"Why do you want to know?"

"We need to know because it was directly related to one of our member and we have to assess this situation carefully." Tony replied "She was now bond with you as your soul mate so it might be some problem in working on the field or when we sent her off for a mission."

"Why can't you send her on the mission?"

"Because…" Bruce tried to find the right word. "As she is now tied up with you, she will feel pain every time you are away from her more than some specific distance. That's why we need to clarify something before we decided the next step."

"We want to know what happen yesterday, cap." Tony told. "She already told us but now we need to know your side too."

Steve took a deep breath, "Okay, so I was waking up in the room which was a set up to make it look like I was waking up in my time. I threw two agents through the wall and began to run. Hawkeye shot me with his tangled arrow and she took me down. It was black and white when I first woke up and then I see her, looked her in the eyes and that's when I noticed her eyes were green."

Bruce and Tony looked at one another

"I don't know why I see colour again…" Steve mumbled and buried his face in his hands, "There must be some mistake."

Nat felt her heart tightened painfully when she heard Steve said those words. Her soul mate doesn't want her, her random thought sounded and it was the most painful thing to think about.

"Because she is your soul mate." Tony concluded.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you! She's not my soul mate." Steve suddenly raised his voice. Eyes and face filled with confusion and denial, "I already met my soul mate. It cannot be her. Tell me that you're lying, ma'am."

Everyone's eyes widened at the captain's answer because it wasn't possible for someone to have two soul mate.

"Who is your soul mate?" Natasha asked

"Her name is Peggy Carter."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**- Next chapter will take a longer time than this to update so please be patient.**

**-Please kindly leave a review. How was the twist? If you think this one is a smooth ride, you are wrong. I really love to know what you think about this chapter :)**


	4. The Confusion

**4 : The Confusion**

"Are you kidding me?" Tony exclaimed. "Nobody has two soulmates."

"That's what I'm trying to say. She's not my soulmate because I've already found mine." Steve yelled.

"Then what could be an explanation for why I saw the fucking colour again after I met you, Rogers." Natasha voice's gone cold. She didn't want to be the only one who get hurt by those cruel word especially the cruel word from her '_soulmate_'. She had to bring this asshole down with her too.

Steve's face contorted in pain for a second. He stared at her and he knew he didn't want to accept the truth. The woman in front of him wasn't his soulmate. He didn't even know her. For god's sake, he didn't even remember her name!

"This is more complicated than I can handle, Tony." Bruce told

"Doc, you gotta know what this is!" Steve said.

"JARVIS, get us Director Fury and inform him about our current complicated situation." Tony told the AI.

Tony couldn't solve this mystery either. All he could pray for was that Fury finds a fast solution to this before Natasha and Captain America decided to rip each other's head off.

The billionaire could clearly sense the hostility between them. Steve was in denial over everything that happen while Natasha looked like she wants this shit to be over as soon as possible.

Well, they were all in for one hell of a ride from now on.

* * *

><p>Fury's solution was a pretty dumb ass move in Tony's opinion. The director sent a specialist over to the tower and arranged a therapy session for the captain and the widow. He said the specialist was the one who was a witness to the phenomenon of soulmates first handed and has studied in the area for years.<p>

"I don't need a therapy session." They both said at the same time when Bruce informed them.

"You guys need this. It is the only way to solve this mystery. Otherwise, we have to ground both of you until we figure out the best way not to send you to death because you've been away from your soulmate for too long." Bruce replied. The doctor was a bit irritated by the stubbornness of the two heroes.

"She's not my soulmate." Steve still insisted on the same answer.

Natasha sighed and turned away because Steve Rogers was pissing her off right now. They barely talked and resulted in them not learning anything about each other yet. All Natasha got was the impression that he was cold, rude and maybe a little cruel for rejecting the fact that she was really his soulmate.

It hurt her but he didn't seem to care.

"Please, Cap." Bruce asked nicely and Steve stepped inside the room where the therapist was waiting without waiting for Natasha. "Natasha, please do this. I don't want to ground you inside the tower too."

Natasha pouted at the doctor before entering the room too. She sat down one the armchair next to Steve with the therapist in front of them. Natasha knew her. She was Dr. Samantha White and Natasha sought her out for some advice sometime too. She was a good woman.

"So I heard you two have a problem with adjusting with your soulmate." The doctor inquired.

"She's not my soulmate! Why isn't anyone listen to me?"

"Stop saying that!" Nat yelled back because she hate to feel the physical pain every time he saying all those things like she wasn't there. "What is wrong with you with accepting reality? That the past of you is all gone?"

"Because I don't want to admit it!"

The two of them looked like they were about to kill each other and Dr. White had to stop them.

"Take a deep breath." She said, "And try to focus."

Steve did as the doctor told while Nat just sighed and leaned back into her chair. Her eyes fixed at the doctor while she took some notes on the clipboard.

"Captain Rogers, I can sense that you're a bit frustrated."

"Yes, doc. I am frustrated because I was supposed to die, not to have a chance to walk this earth again when I decided to leave my soulmate behind and let her face all the pain to save this world!"

It was the moment of pure pain, and anger and survivors guilt and it hit both woman at the same time. For the doctor, she could clearly see that Steve was mentally unstable and was compromised by his old flashbacks and the guilt he burdened on his shoulders. For Natasha, she felt the same pain because she experienced the same things. She should have die so many times and yet, here she was.

"How could you be so sure that the woman you left behind was your soulmate?" Dr. White calmly asked.

"I saw the colour again because of her."

"Please tell me the whole story. From when you first met her."

Nat was intrigued about this too. She wanted to hear why Captain America couldn't let go of this woman. The woman he so believed that she was his soulmate.

Steve inhaled deeply before starting, "As you may know I was just a little guy with all the asthma and stuff that made me not qualify for enlistment. Dr. Erskine met me at the fair and accepted me into the super soldier program. That's when I first met her, Agent Peggy Carter of the SSR."

"Did you see it, the colour, right away?"

"No, I knew her for some time before I saw colour again, when I lost my best friend and she found me at the destroyed bar in London thats when I saw colour."

"Captain, you may not like what you're about to hear but Peggy Carter wasn't your soulmate." Dr. White said.

"What?" Steve asked. Eyebrows frowned "How could that be? I saw colour again, doc."

"What has happened between you and her was qualified as a '_lifemate_', captain. Not a '_soulmate_'." Dr. White explained. "You and her didn't see the colour right away but instead you two saw colour again after experiencing certain situations together."

"It cannot be." Steve denied. The truth he wanted to deny and lived in his old beliefs.

He didn't want this woman. He didn't even know her. She seemed like a person who kept secrets, lied and manipulated, Steve fell into his deep thought again. Natasha could sense his mistrust toward her and she felt the need to make the point very clear.

"It's my job to lie and manipulate people, Rogers." She said and made Steve startled. "I'm a spy."

Dr. White observed their reactions and everything pointed out to the only answer.

"Captain, Natasha is really your soulmate. Everything pointed that way. The way you two see colour again after looking into each other's eyes for the first time, the way you two felt pain when you are away from one another, the way Natasha could sense your current emotion and how she could see a glimpse of your memory."

"How can you be so sure?"

"For fuck's sake, Rogers! It's not that hard to figure it out!" Natasha yelled in frustration.

"I've experienced the phenomenon first handed, Captain." Dr. White replied "My husband and I met when I was first joined SHIELD and from the moment we saw colour again is also the moment we started to bond our soul together. Soulmate is something deeper than a lifemate could have or share."

Steve was in silent for two minutes and tried to sink everything in.

"Make believe all you want, Captain but this isn't something you can fight or ignore it without hurting your soulmate."

* * *

><p>The session ended better than everyone expected. At least there was no blood bath or Natasha reducing Steve into ashes. Dr. White informed Director Fury that they were not in conditions to work as they still needed time to adjust as soulmates. Another suggestion was that they had to help the Captain make peace with his past as soon as possible so he could move on and let Natasha in. The more he held on to his past, the more it was going to hurt Natasha.<p>

Fury took her advice and grounded them inside the tower and ordered them to adjust as soon as possible. Fury knew it wasn't going to be an easy task when two of the most stubborn people had to work together.

Fury had Hill deliver every file necessary for Steve so the captain could catch up with everything. Hill also told Natasha to help Steve with everything. Much to the spy's disagreement, she couldn't stay away from Steve for, from her experiment, more than 7 meters away from one another.

It sucks to have to stay close to someone you despise, not to mention helping him coping with the change of the world. Bruce said it was her duty, not as an Avengers or Agent of SHEILD, but as his soulmate.

The first day Steve dug into the mountain of files, they sat in silence most of the time. Nat kept her eyes fixed on him, to study him and to watch his every little tiny reaction. She needed to know how to break the ice with him which now seemed too hard to do.

Yeah, the Captain had a giant fucking ice wall like the one in Clint's favorite TV show, Games of Throne. Natasha hated it, too much blood, war, death and deception. It was like she was watching her life in that show.

Steve was now reading the file of his friends from the Howling Commandos. His face was blank but his eyes filled with grief and guilt that Nat knew it because of he left them behind. The fucking survivors guilt.

"They're all gone." He mumbled, voice broken.

"It's the way of life, Rogers. They didn't have a super serum like you to live eternally."

"You don't know a thing." He replied.

"They lived their lives doing good things after you went under. They were founding members of SHIELD. They helped protect the world after you were gone. There is no need to be ashamed that you left them behind."

Steve didn't reply and got back to read the rest of the file. Natasha could feel everything. It stung her sometimes when all the feelings overwhelmed him. She wanted to reach out and help him through the pain but she can't because he didn't let her in.

He never let his guard down when he was around her.

* * *

><p>Natasha was in the communication room in Stark Tower trying to reach Fury but Hill told her that Fury was busy dealing with the World Security Council.<p>

Fury contacted her again two hours later. He said he will stop by at the tower to see the progress the Avengers made with the captain. Natasha warned him not to set his expectations too high because they were getting nowhere.

"What's your urgent matter, Agent?" Fury asked as he entered the living area of the Avengers Tower.

"Sir, I request getting back in the field."

"Are you sure?" he asked again. A bit concern about her current situation with Captain America.

"Yes, sir. I'm sure. I don't want to sit around doing nothing anymore."

"Did Captain Rogers adjust yet?"

"He's doing alright, sir. He seemed like didn't need any help from any of us."

"Romanoff, I advised you to take this situation seriously." Fury warned "It could be life and death situation if you are always from him."

"How could it be life and death situation?"

Fury could see that his number one agent was so confident that she would take the pain from separation. The director knew everything about this too. He found his lifemate and it almost jeopardize the whole thing because he thought he could stay away from her without strengthening the bond between them first.

The only way to make Natasha realized the seriousness of this matter was to let her experienced it first handed.

"If you insist." He said. "Follow me"

Fury led Natasha to the quinjet. Everything went on smoothly until Natasha flopped down on the floor and began to feel pain, it grew stronger every inch she was away from Steve.

"Damn it" The spy muttered. "Fuck…"

"Take us back to the tower!" Fury told the pilot before turned back to Natasha "I told you."

"I know but you know me."

"Yeah, you are one stubborn woman."

Fury took Natasha down to the living room where they found Steve reacted the same way as the spy.

"I do believe that this makes my point very clear for you two to stay together."

They both nodded but didn't even look at one another.

* * *

><p>Everyone else on the team was trying to help Steve back on track as fast as he can. Tony spent his time teaching the good captain how to operate the latest daily technology like a Starkphone and laptops. Steve picked everything up very fast, thanks to his enhanced memory.<p>

He always watched Bruce and Tony working in their labs or he will sit quietly in the corner reading the old file. He also picking up something that the two geniuses exchanged with one another about science.

Thor helped him get back in shape by sparring with him. The god of Thunder was the only one who could handle the captain's strength while Clint taught him how to use the modern and sophisticated weapons.

"Cap, you're a natural." Clint praised when Steve could use every single firearm correctly.

"Thanks." The Captain said "But I think I cannot best you in sharpshooting."

"That's why they call me Hawkeye."

Steve began to feel a little relaxed when he was finally okay with being around them. He found that they were all genuinely friendly and welcomed him as part of their team and family.

The only one Steve was trying to avoid was Natasha. She always put him in a bad mood and he also didn't quite accept the fact that she was his soulmate.

Why? Because he didn't even know her. Because he already feel in love with someone else. They've been through thick and thin together, they fought together. She saw him as who he really was, the skinny kid who wanted to join the Army and protect people. Peggy saw the real him.

On the other hand, He didn't know Natasha and what gave her the right to claim herself as his soulmate. He didn't want to spend his life with her. He didn't want her.

He kept his distance from her, locked himself inside his bedroom and read all those files. He could sense her presence, it must have something to do with all the soulmate things. She would sneak into his floor, just lounging around his living room like it was her own place.

He would let her do that if she didn't bother him.

He read most of the files. Until he decided to open the last one. The file about Peggy. He wasn't sure what he would discover. He just had the courage to do it today.

The first page in the file was the summary of her dossier. She didn't have a big 'DECEASED' stamp on her dossier. His heart lifted up with that fact, she still alive!

He looking for the address or phone number to make a contact but it didn't appear in the file. The only way he will find out about this was to ask someone.

Someone who knew all the information.

He stepped outside of his room and found Natasha watching some random TV show on his couch. He stood in front of her and looked down at the spy.

"She still alive." He said "Why didn't you tell me? You know about this, right?"

"I don't know anything about her." Natasha casually replied "Why would I be interested in a retired old woman from the past?"

Steve grabbed her arms and pulled her up on her feet, squeezed her arms too hard that made her winced a little.

"Stop lying!"

"I only act like I know everything, Rogers."

"I don't believe you."

"I can tell you one thing that she's in DC."

"Just find the information for me. You're the spy."

"You can't give me order."

"Fine! I will just do it my way then."

"Cool with me!"

Steve let go of Natasha and stomped back into his room. He gathered everything in his duffle bag and went out of his floor. Natasha quickly followed behind.

"Where the hell you think you are going?" She asked.

"DC."

"Are you crazy?"

"I have to find her and I don't need your approval."

They reached the garage and Steve went to his motorcycle. He took off without saying a word to Natasha. Nat had to run after him because she knew the pain will kill her for sure if he went further than a specific range. Steve had disappear from her line of sight and she fell to the ground as she felt like thousands of knives stabbed into her body.

"Damn it, Rogers." She muttered while she dialed his number.

"What do you want?" He harshly asked.

"Come back here, you asshole." She replied with the same level of hatred "Come back and pick me up! I have to go with you too!"

"I don't want you with me."

"Damn it! Don't you feel the pain?"

"Yeah, I am! But I can handle it. I don't want you in DC with me."

Nat screamed with pure pain. People walking in the street looked at her but they couldn't help. It wasn't normal pain that they could just call the hospital but it was the pain that cause by the soulmate.

Fuck! She hated this shit. To be more specific, she hated him as much as he hate her.

"Just come back and pick me up, please." She begged because it was all too much for her right now.

Fuck, and now he break her first. Steve Fucking Rogers, the good old Captain America reduced the famous Black Widow into begging. FUCK!

"Fine, I will pick you up at the tower." With that Steve hung up.

Natasha slowly got up and walked back to the tower. Pain was subsided as she felt Steve's presence. He didn't say anything and she got up on the bike with him and headed to DC.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review. It will be more angst and drama. Please hang on with me, okay?**


	5. The Old Flame

**Thank you for your reviews! I know you guys will hate Steve but no worry, he will pay for what he done to Natasha.**

* * *

><p><strong>5 : The Old Flame<strong>

They reached DC in the evening and Steve had to wake the woman sat behind him up. She held him tight from behind and rested her head on his back the whole way.

"Wake up!" He called loudly and shook her arm. "We've arrived in DC."

Steve heard a soft yawn from his back and the spy slowly pulled her arms away from his waist.

"Where are we?"

"A hotel. We gonna stay here."

"Don't worry about it. I have an apartment just a couple blocks away."

"Yeah, you can sleep there. I will stay here."

"Which part of pain don't you understand, Rogers? We cannot be away from one another."

"Then why do I barely feel a thing except from not wanting to be anywhere near you." He shot back.

"I don't know. I can't fucking explain it either. It just happened. Look, I don't want to be anywhere near you either."

Steve sighed, "Fine, lead the way."

They arrived at her apartment five minutes later. She opened the door to her beautiful and organized duplex apartment.

"There's a spare room upstairs to your left or you can sleep in the same room as me if you want." She couldn't resist the urge to tease him.

Steve rolled his eyes and headed upstairs to settle himself in. He went down to the kitchen to find Natasha making their dinner.

"Hope you don't mind. I cooked us something."

"Yeah, it's okay. Just don't put any poison in it though."

Steve sat down and watched as Natasha cooked something simple for both of them. Mac and Cheese to be precise. It did smell good though. He never thought that a woman like her could cook.

Natasha sat a plate down in front on him before sitting on the counter because she knew he didn't like her to be too close to him.

"What you gonna do tomorrow?" She asked to help ease the silent tension between them.

"Visit my old friends' graves at Arlington." He replied

"Then?"

"Maybe visiting Peggy but I don't know where she is."

He looked like a lost puppy when he said those words and Nat couldn't help but grin. This was the first time Steve let his guard down around her. She couldn't pin down if he was he finally opening up to her or not but at least he talked to her.

"Maybe I can hack into SHIELD." She suggested.

"Are you crazy? Aren't you gonna get fired?"

"Nah, Fury wouldn't dare fire me because he knows how lethal I am. To be fair, its just a harmless hack. Just to find some information about the retired agent of SHIELD because Captain America wants to see her."

Steve narrows his eyes at her mocking, "If you're comfortable with doing it, I'm fine with that."

Nat put her plate down and opened her laptop. Steve moved to stand behind her as she did her trick.

"Are you sure you're not gonna trigger the alarm?"

"The man who develop this security is slightly smarter than me." She replied with a smirk on her face "Slightly." She typed in quickly and disabled the security before gaining access to the archive, "Besides, cap. I'm the Black Widow."

Steve let out a soft huff almost like he was trying to contain his laughter. Nat inwardly smiled as she could slightly break the ice with the Captain.

"What's her name?"

"Margaret Carter"

Natasha typed in and the file came up. They both read it in silence before Nat printed the address out for him.

"Here you go."

"Thanks."

"You better get some rest, Rogers. You got a long day ahead."

"You too."

That's all he said before he went to his room.

* * *

><p>Natasha woke up to the bright sun light outside her window. She could sense something was wrong with her apartment and kept still to better listen to the environment around her.<p>

There was someone else in the apartment, she thought, then she could smell pancake and bacon. Steve must be wake up by now.

She slowly got up from her bed and put the robe on over her sleepwear. When she entered the kitchen, she saw Steve preparing their breakfast.

"Morning" She greeted.

"You slept in." He noted "You don't look like a kind of person who sleeps in."

"Yeah, I tend to do it when I have my free time." Natasha replied "You cook breakfast, huh?"

"Last night you cooked me something nice and now it's my turn."

"Don't slip some poison in it, okay?"

"Already did that." He replied as he placed the plate in front of her.

They had a very quiet meal because Steve was clearly not the one who initiated the talking first. Natasha wasn't in the mood to play him like she always does.

"I will leave for Arlington in an hour if that's okay with you." He said.

"Okay, I will be ready in twenty minutes."

Steve sat down and waited for Natasha to take a shower and get dressed. She showed up again in exactly twenty minutes. Steve stared at her curiously.

"What?" She asked, a little annoyed.

"You didn't wear any make up." He noted

"I'm glad that you notice something about me, Rogers." She shot back and earned her a dagger glare from him.

He sighed "Let's go"

"We will take my car today."

Steve didn't want to banter with her anymore so he just complied with whatever she wanted. Natasha led him to the garage nearby and revealed her beautiful slick black Corvette.

"Nice car"

Natasha just gave him a sly smile and got inside the car. Steve sat down in the passenger seat and suddenly he was well aware of how close they were in this confined space of the sports car.

They sat quietly until they arrived at the Cemetery. Steve asked the way to his Howling Commandos' graves and the man took him right away to the statue dedicated to the entire team and him.

"The world doesn't realize that I'm not dead yet, right?" Steve spoke up

"Fury thought it would be better if you remain incognito."

"Yeah, the world doesn't need me to protect them anymore when they've got you guys." He sounded bitter about it and Natasha wanted hug him.

But instead she gently put her hand in his shoulder. It surprised her that he didn't shrug away.

"Don't think that way, Steve." This was the first time she used his first name. "The world still needs you. To be honest, we kinda messed it up and we had to clean it up back in New York."

"I thought I sacrificed everything because I was gonna die but no, god decided to keep me frozen to be found in the next 70 years when everyone I knew was gone."

Why did she feel like he doesn't want to live anymore? The man kinda gave her the sense that he doesn't have purpose to live again.

He gently brushed her hand away and walked away to marble stone engraving his teammates' names.

Steven Grant Rogers, James Buchanan Barnes, Timothy 'Dum Dum' Dugan, Jim Morita, Montgomery Falsworth, Gabriel Jones, and Jacques Dernier.

They were all gone.

Steve stood still and not moving until he saw a family approaching them.

"Is great grandpa resting here, Antoine?" One of the little kids asked her big brother.

"Yeah, great grandpa rests here alongside his friends."

"Did he really work with Captain America?"

"Sure, he worked closely with Cap. He never stopped telling me about the great Captain America"

That was what he should have had with Peggy after the war, growing old together, and watching their grandkids running around the front lawn. He should have that life.

Natasha saw Steve began to tremble as he turned his face away from the family. He could see that the tall guy named Antoine bared resemble of Gabe Jones. Steve decided to walk away with Natasha following closely behind.

"Let's go home, Steve. You are far too emotionally compromise today."

Steve complied, knowing that she was right.

* * *

><p>After Natasha witnessed the Captain almost break down in front of her for the first time. She felt the need to check up on him all night to make sure he got enough sleep and wasn't plagued by a terrible nightmare of his past.<p>

All she could see was Steve shaking in his dreams but when she put her hand on his arm, he stopped.

She knew she was being too nice with him considering how rude he was to her the past week but maybe it was her ability to understand his fear and pain made her be a little patient towards him.

They had too many similarities, more than she would like to admit.

She woke up earlier than him the next day and prepared him some breakfast. She got a message from Hill about hacking into SHIELD. Fury didn't like it but Natasha told him it was for the good cause and for helping the Captain 'make peace' with his past.

Hill and Fury let it slide only this time and the Director demanded to know their every move from now on.

She heard the footsteps from the stairs and Steve emerged. His golden locks were tousled and he looked like he didn't get enough sleep. He looked like he'd been through hell.

"You're alright?" She asked.

"No"

"Want to tell me about it?"

"No"

"Fine. Suit yourself."

Nat finished with her cooking and placed a plate in front of Steve. They ate in silence again but this time, Steve spoke up first.

"How will she react when she sees me?" He asked "After all of this, I'm still alive and young while she must be like 95 years old."

"She will be glad that you're still alive, Steve."

"But I left her. I choose the world rather than her."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the right thing. I read your file too, Steve. If you didn't do what you do, she might have to died to. You saved her and millions of lives."

"Maybe this was a mistake, going to see her."

"You need this. You need a closure for this so you can move on."

Move on to what? Steve silently thought to himself. Seriously, he had nothing left to be called his. Everything was gone. The life as he knew it was changed way too much that he couldn't cope with.

Steve swiftly got up from his seat.

"I will go see her."

Natasha could only nod and go with him. They stopped at the flower shop to buy Peggy a beautiful vase of flower (Nat's suggestion and weirdly enough, Steve followed what she suggested). She drove him to the retirement home and told him she would wait outside.

"Good luck" She said.

Steve took a deep breath and stepped inside the building. He told the receptionist he wanted to see Peggy Carter and she led him to the room. Steve tried to think of what he would say to her. How she would react and everything seemed to make him confused even further.

Then he felt someone in the back of his mind. He knew it was Natasha trying to calm his nerves. He didn't know why but she seemed to be able to sense his emotion better than anyone even when they had only known each other for week and a half.

"Agent Carter, there's someone here who wants to see you." The nurse told her before she slowly retreating out of the room to give them some privacy.

Peggy turned to the man standing at the door and her eyes widened.

"Steve…" She weakly called out his name like she wasn't sure about his presence. "Is that really you?"

Steve rushed to her side as she called him and gently grabbed her hand in his.

"Steve. You're alive. You came back."

"Yeah, Peggy." He replied with a soft smile on his face. "Yes, it's me, Peggy."

"It's been so long…so long" Her voice sounded she was about to break down and cry.

"Well, I couldn't leave my best girl." He said "Not when she owes me a dance."

* * *

><p>They spent all day catching up, talking about everything. Sometimes Steve watched her sleep because she was tried. He sat there next to her, didn't move, as he promised to her that he will not leave her again.<p>

It felt right for the first time after he woke up in this century. Peggy was the last thing connecting him with his past and present. The only person who made the waking up in this century feel right. Even when she was physically old, the same spirit was still intact.

He would hold on to her as long as he could. He knew he was about to lose his mind very soon. It was all too much at the same time. With everything flooding his mind, emotion, and memory, he felt like he was about to explode. He couldn't control himself.

Then they reminisced about the good old days. Steve remembered it like it happened yesterday.

He remember everything very clearly and vividly. It was one of the side effect of the serum. It enhanced his memory and his mind turned into a hologram projector. He sometimes saw his old memories playing when it was triggered by places or objects.

After Dr. Erskine told him he would be a soldier and a candidate for the special program known as 'The Super Soldier Program'. He followed the doctor to Camp Lehigh.

It was the place he met Peggy Carter for the first time. He liked her a lot when she punched that douche bag Gilmore Hodges. She was a strong, smart and intelligent woman. Not to mention she was very beautiful and the English accent did really suit her.

Even when everything was in black and white, he could see how beautiful and kind she was. To be honest, she was one of a very few people who see him as who he really was and ignored that fact.

Even when he turned into Captain America, the perfect human being, she still saw him as the skinny Steve. She saw him from who he really was.

They've been through a lot of things together. Since the time he went behind the enemy lines to find Bucky and rescue hundreds of men.

"What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?" She asked as he prepared to leave for a search of his friend.

"If that's what it takes." Steve shortly replied.

"You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead."

"You don't know that."

"Even so, he's devising a strategy to take"

"By the time he's done that, it could be too late!"

Steve turned to her and looked into her eyes.

"You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?"

"Every word."

"Then you gotta let me go."

"I can do more than that."

It ended up with Peggy getting Howard to fly him into the enemy's air space. He got a little jealous when Howard did suggest something to do with Peggy after they dropped him off. Right then Steve knew this wasn't any fling or something. He did feel something for her.

He rescued the prisoners and his best friend. Colonel Phillips finally granted him a place in the battlefield with his hand-picked team to take out HYDRA's secret factories. Peggy and Howard continued to aid them. The Howling commandos was born and quickly earned their stripes.

But then the tragic hit them all when Bucky Barnes fall from the train and was presumed dead. Steve was drowning in his misery and guilt and sitting alone in the destroyed bar in London.

Peggy was the one who found him. Of course, she found him. She knew him too well. This bar was the last place he and Bucky hung out before the Howling Commandos went on a mission.

Steve sat alone and pouring himself a drink.

"Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um...I can't get drunk. Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects."

Peggy sat down across him and took a long look at the sorrowful captain.

"It wasn't your fault." She told him.

"Did you read the reports?"

"Yes"

"Then you know that's not true."

"You did everything you could. Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?"

Steve looked at her as if to say yes.

"Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it."

"I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured."

"You won't be alone."

In the most hopeless time, there was still hope. When Peggy Carter reached her hand out and took his hand in hers, gently rubbed it as if she was trying to console him, trying to pass him the strength to carry on.

Then Steve realized, he saw colour again when he looked up at her. Her long brown curls that he wondered all along the colour of. Her beautiful hazel eyes sparkled even in the dim light. Her lips was red just as he always suspected.

"I see colour." He spoke up out of shock.

From the facial expression, he knew she just realized it like him, "Your eyes are blue." She said and made Steve chuckled a little.

Peggy did help him get back on his feet. For the first time in his life, he saw colour. She was his soulmate and he felt a little bit better with her trying to help him get over his guilt.

Then the final mission came, the last assault on HYDRA and the Red Skull. Steve took control of the plane and was determined to crash it down in the water. He didn't regret his decision. His only regret was that he didn't have a chance to live happily ever after with his soulmate.

He didn't have a chance to say he loved her either. Everything when down so fast and the last conversation they had easily brought everyone to tear.

"Peggy?"

"I'm here."

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance."

"Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club."

"You got it."

"Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late! Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance."

"I'll show you how. Just be there."

"You'll have the band play somethin' slow. I'd hate to step on your…"

At least, he died with colour in his eyes, not the world of black and white. Steve slowly closed his eyes as the water consumed and succumbed him into its cold abyss.

* * *

><p>"The dance…" Peggy said tiredly before coughing.<p>

Steve quickly got up and poured her some water.

"I still owed you a dance." She continued with a sadness hinted in her voice, "Look at me. I'm old, barely have any strength left to get up from this bed."

He smiled fondly at her, "You're still my best girl." Steve reminded and held her hand gently. "And you know I can carry you if you want."

"Some other times then." Peggy told "I'm tired."

Steve got up to pull a blanket over her and leaned down to kiss her on her forehead.

"I'm glad that you're still alive, Steve." She said "Even though we can't have a happily ever after together."

"We can now."

Peggy smiled and looked like she was about to reply something but tiredness took over her and she slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	6. The Shackle

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :) **

* * *

><p><strong>6 : The Shackle<strong>

This wasn't a good day for Natasha at all. She ended up sitting alone in her car all day in the parking lot of the retirement community. She had to be here because her 'soulmate' wanted to see 'the love of his life'.

She hates this. She fucking hates all of this. Why was she the only one who had to feel all the pain he caused to her? Why wasn't he feeling as much pain as she did? This is unfair.

Well, the world wasn't the place for justice and fairness anyway. Maybe this was what she deserved considering her old life. Maybe this was how god wanted her to learn the pain she caused people.

"Yeah, you deserved it, Romanoff", Nat bitterly thought to herself. She must have taken someone else's soulmate life too and the pain and grieve she caused them must have been too much. Yep, karma bit her back in the ass.

Maybe she doesn't deserve someone like Captain America, the man who sacrificed everything to save lives, not taking it like she does.

But shes got to say this was the first time she could sense Steve being happy after he was out of the ice, like truly happy. The man who was supposed to be her soulmate was happy by being with another woman.

Why did he love that woman so much? Nat could understand that they had connection and shared life experiences but god from high above said otherwise, god gave her the man who doesn't love her at all.

Steve came out again when the sun had almost set, looking happy as could be.

"How was it?"

"Good." That's all his reply

"You don't mind if we go out for a good dinner tonight, right?" Nat asked "There is a very good Italian restaurant on our way home."

"Whatever you say."

Their conversation was short as always. Nat could feel the sense of honesty in his answer every time. He didn't bother to lie to her. That's what hit her the most. He hates her enough to the point that he didn't even care to lie to make her feel better.

They were at the restaurant in five minutes and Nat led both of them in.

"Table of two please" Nat said to the host.

"A lovely couple should have the best table in the house." The host said in his Italian accent.

"We are…." Steve about to protest but Nat quickly elbowed him and said, "Yes, we are. It's our anniversary."

The host congratulated them before led them to the table, light up the candle and gave them the menu.

"Why did you tell him that?" Steve asked with girthed teeth.

"It would end the conversation faster." She replied "Besides, this is our second week anniversary."

Steve scoffed, "Go ahead and celebrate it by yourself."

He rejected her again. Nat had started to get used to it. They looked at their menus in silence until the waiter came by to take their order. Natasha ordered her favorite meat lasagna, salad, and spaghetti while Steve ordered soup, risotto, and pizza.

"We can talk, you know?" Nat spoke up "So we can at least understand each other."

He sighed annoyingly, "Fine"

"Why is she so important that you don't want to let go?"

"Because she is the only person I love." From the look in his eyes, Nat knew he spoke the truth and it hurt her again, "She's the only thing that related to me in this new era. I will hang on to her for as long as I can."

Nat tried to ignore the pain inside her chest and concealed it under her cold facade, "Maybe you have to move on, Rogers. She's not gonna live forever and you know that."

"You don't know a thing."

"You can't have a happily ever after with her."

"Stop it"

"When she dies, the bond will break and you will realize that you don't belong to her."

"Stop it!" He raised his voice and Nat did stop. She never heard him use his commanding tone before. "This conversation is over."

They ended up arguing and yelling at each other again. Nat hated that her life had to depend on someone. She couldn't run from this soulmate thing. She couldn't be away from him.

She should not have wished to see colour. She shouldn't have wish to find her soulmate if it turned out she got the biggest asshole in the world to be her soulmate.

* * *

><p>They didn't utter a single word to each other on the way back to her apartment. Their dinner date was a total disaster. The waiter tried to get them on the dance floor but the look Steve gave the waiter could kill, he would reduce the guy into ashes.<p>

They went their separate ways. Steve locked himself inside his bedroom while Nat lounged around on the sofa and tried to focus on the TV show.

She sensed his appearance but didn't turn to acknowledge. He silently moved into the kitchen to get some water.

Before Nat could stop herself, she spoke up.

"Wanna watch Gossip Girl with me?"

To her surprise, he slowly moved toward her and sat down next to her but he didn't say a thing.

"You might have a little culture shock since the world has changed so much from your era."

"I think I can handle it." Steve replied

That was the ended of the conversation. She watched his reaction closely when he saw each scene of the current episode. He frowned every time when something he didn't like show up.

"They are just high school students, am I correct?" He asked

"Yes, they are."

"Why would they do such awful things at this age? This shouldn't happen with the people at their age."

"They are spoiled children of the upper class people who have time for charity but not their children." Nat clarified

"That's awful." He said again, "I wouldn't do that to my mother. She worked very hard to support us both. Even if I as rich as the character in the story, I wouldn't do those thing."

"Who'd know? May be in another parallel universe, you are some spoiled upper class son of a rich man and woman. You could be a womanizer like Chuck Bass."

Steve actually chuckled a little. This was the first time he slightly let his guard down with her.

"I cannot imagine that. I'm terrible when I'm around woman."

To her surprise again, they had a peaceful conversation during the show. Nat tried to explain everything to Steve who just listened quietly. Nat wanted to get a little glimpse of him and she thought he let his guard down enough to finally tell her something about his past.

"Why do you keep visiting her?" The spy asked, hoping she will get truthful answer from him.

Steve looked at her and Nat saw him tensed up and sealed himself away from her again.

"Because I don't want to be with you."

He immediately got up from his seat and went upstairs. His words cut deep inside her and Nat could only deal with it by herself.

Captain America wasn't supposed to be this cruel. Why was it hard for him to accept her? She tried very hard not to care or feel anything but the soulmate thing weakened her emotionally. Yeah, it reduced the great Black Widow to the high school girl with a heartache.

She only hoped to find someone who would love her and accept her for who she really is but she knew that was too much to ask. She had a deep dark past, the ghost of her past still haunted her.

Maybe it was too good to be true that someone like her will have a happy ever after, to have a soulmate.

She shouldn't stop day dreaming now.

* * *

><p>They went back to the retirement community the next day. Nat couldn't be more bored with this. She missed getting out on the field with the rest of the team and actually doing something.<p>

Anything rather than babysit Captain America.

"Hey, Clint." She called her best friend, hoping he was free to talk to her.

"Sup, girl!" He greeted back, "How is your thing with Captain America working out? Did you guys bang yet?"

"Clint, he hates me and I'm pretty sure that I hate him too."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Nat. He needs more time to adjust. You need time too."

"I don't need him, Clint."

"Say whatever you want. Bruce said it will get worse the longer you prolong this."

"I seriously don't know how to do this, Clint."

"You have to break him, the way you do with your mark."

"Clint, I don't think it will work."

"Nat, you need to be optimistic like when you believed you would meet your soulmate."

"And he hates me."  
>"I will stop talking to you now since your life is full of misery." Clint said "Hope to see you soon."<p>

"Me too. Love you, Clint."

"Love you too."

They hung up and Nat went back to sitting around waiting for Steve.

* * *

><p>Inside the building, Steve was sitting next to Peggy's bed and talked to her like he always did.<p>

"You should be proud of yourself, Peggy." He said as he looked at Peggy's family photos by her bedside table showing her with her husband and children.

"Mm. I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn't get to live yours."

Steve broke his eyes contact with Peggy and looked down to the floor. Peggy, knowing him all too well, asked,

"What is it?"

"For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It's just not the same." His voice filled with guilt and sadness, "I woke up, thinking that I can live the life but I can't. I can't do it anymore."

Peggy chuckled, "You're always so dramatic. Look, you saved the world. We rather...mucked it up."

"You didn't. They told me you helped found SHIELD."

Peggy took Steve's hand, "Everything has changed, Steve. You have to move forward. I cannot go back, none of us can go back."

"Maybe I don't want to."

Steve told himself that she was his only soulmate. The only one that he will accept. Not some woman she just met. He didn't want to believe that Natasha Romanoff was his soulmate. Even the pain inside him kept remind him that his bond with her was stronger than the one he had with Peggy.

He didn't like it and he will try to find the way out of it so he could have the woman that he wants.

* * *

><p>The day ended with Steve being happy and had a big smile on his face when he came back to Nat's car. Nat observed him closely and noticed how peaceful he was. For a short moment, he had his emotional and mental stability back.<p>

"Everything alright?" Nat asked as Steve opened the door and sat down next to her.

"Yeah."

They didn't attempt to have any conversation after that. Natasha took them straight back to her apartment because she learned that dinner dates will just turn into a total disaster.

But to her surprise again, Steve caught her off guard this time by offering his help with their dinner. They enjoyed their harmonious moment in silence except for the sound of their cooking.

Natasha knew better than to fall for this trap again. Every time, after what seemed to be a happy moment between them. They will ruin it. At least, this time they didn't ruin their dinner by throwing a tantrum and insulting one another.

It was right after they put everything in the dishwasher and adjourned to the living room where her damn mouth couldn't keep it to herself.

"You should stop seeing her." She said out of nowhere and Natasha immediately pushed them back to hostile territory. "Maybe you should break that bond with her and move on with your life."

"No, I can't and it's not your goddamn business."

"She's old! She will be dead in no time. Why would you care so much?! She's not even your soulmate. You didn't even bond with her!"

"Even if she'd already died, she will always be in my heart."

"People die, memories do too. You'll forget her one day"

"No, I will not forget her. You didn't know me. If there is someone I will forget, that someone is you."

"You see, Rogers, I don't worry about you forgetting me, cause you won't. I just want you to remember me in your dreams, not nightmares"

"I will not remember you in anyway. I will do anything to break this bond with you. You are not my soulmate."

"Rogers! You gotta learn to accept the truth that your soulmate is the perfect killing machine not perfect Miss British with a fancy accent!"

"DO NOT SPEAK OF PEGGY LIKE YOU KNOW HER!" Steve bellowed and grabbed Natasha's throat as his sudden anger took control of him. "You have no right to speak of her."

Steve slammed her against the wall. Her toes barely scratched the floor.

"Yeah, I have every fucking right! Why does my soulmate not even notice me? I just want you to notice me. I just needed someone...and I thought that when I found you that someone would finally love me"

"How am I supposed to love you? I'm in love with someone else. I don't even know who you really are!"

"Because you don't even open up to me and let me in. You are so blind by your love for a woman who will die very soon!"

She was treading a very thin line here. She was trying to manipulate, to challenge, to coax him to her own will. She was trying to make him losing control and this time, she succeeded.

Steve squeezed his hand tighter to make her stop talking. Nat choked and tried to get some air into her lungs but she can't. His super strength was too much to match. In his blinding anger, he had half a mind to end her life right there. A little more pressure would snap her neck in half.

"You cannot hurt me, Rogers. You know damn well you can't…"

He roared angrily and let go of Natasha as he felt pain sting inside him. He fucking hates it when she's right. Nat fell to the ground and coughed violently.

"Do not fucking talk about Peggy that way again." He growled "I'm not afraid of ending your life with my own hands."

He turned around and didn't even bother to check up on her.

"Stay the hell away from me. I warn you." He said "I don't need you. I don't want you."

Steve disappeared into his room while Nat sat in exactly the same place. Her eyes began to tear up from the pain that he caused her. She wasn't supposed to feel anything. She didn't love him but this was by far the most painful thing he'd ever done to her.

He willing to hurt her because he didn't care or give a damn about her, Nat found herself cried at the thought, she didn't know why it was so hard for him to accept her. Why it was so easy for him to hurt her in every way imaginable?

Maybe dieing alone in black and white wasn't so bad when compared to her current situation.

Nat couldn't help but cry really hard. She cried herself to sleep on the couch.

* * *

><p>Steve felt something sting in his heart, squeezed his heart tight. He knew the cause, it was Natasha. He tried to get to sleep but the redhead woman haunted him when he closed his eyes. Her green eyes filled with pain and sadness when he unleashed all those cruel words on her.<p>

Steve got up and went downstairs to find Natasha sleeping on the couch. He could see dry trails of tears on her cheeks. He shouldn't feel bad like this but he can't help. "Damn the Soulmate shit!" He muttered.

He decided to pick her up from the couch and the moment she was in his arms, her head nestled at the crook of his neck. Some tender feeling touched his heart but he quickly shook it off. Steve gently carried her back to her room and put her in bed.

Blue eyes stared at her intently before he sighed and walked back to his room.

* * *

><p>Nat began to stir and silently cursed to herself with all the swollen eyes as she barely opened them up. The Black Widow had cried herself to sleep. "Great" she muttered, if someone knew about this, she will become a joke to the entire espionage world.<p>

But then something hit her as she realized she wasn't lying on her couch but her bed and her body entirely wrapped up in her comfy blanket.

_How was she ended up here anyway?_

Then Natasha turned her head and saw a breakfast tray on the end table. Coffee still warm and the food in the plate indicated that they just freshly made. Her eyes wandered to the small note written in a messy handwriting 'I'm sorry'

Nat didn't know why but she found that it was cute that he actually apologize to her for the first time even he didn't say it to her directly. He made her breakfast in bed that should count for something.

Nat enjoyed her food and it was really good. Steve Rogers can cook better than her but there was something else too. He was very delicate with the decoration and how he arrange the plate for her.

Who knew a cruel man like him could do this.

She got up from her bed to put everything in the sink and noticed that he was gone. He must be with his life-mate again and the thought pain her a little. Nat shrugged it off and thought it carefully again. He must haven't been too far away because she didn't feel the same pain she felt when he leaving back at the tower.

Nat knew she will know if he was out of range.

The spy got up and quickly took a shower but when she went downstairs again. She found the last person she thought she would see.

"Agent Romanoff" Fury greeted.

"Boss." Nat replied, "What do you doing here?"  
>"Checking on you and Rogers." The man said, "Are you two making any progress?"<p>

"No"

"Is there anything happened that I should know?"

From the tone in his voice, she knew he must know something but she will lie anyway.

"Nah, nothing to be worried."

"Romanoff, I know."

Nat sighed, "How do you know, sir? Did you send someone to watch over me?"

"JARVIS told Stark of the incident last night." Fury told "JARVIS was installed into your Stark phone too so he knew everything."

"Right."

She will strangle Stark to force him uninstall JARVIS from her phone when she gets back to New York.

"Did he hurt you?"

"He left some nice bruises." Nat replied and showed Fury the bruises on her neck.

"If things got out of hand, we will put him back in the ice. We don't want to risk your life if you really aren't compatible."

"Yes, sir"

"But you must know, in order to put him back in there, you will be ground inside the tower for the rest of your life."

"But at least, I still have more chance to live."

She sounded hopeless that could break everyone's heart. Natasha used to be a cheerful person but now she was turning into one hell of a miserable person. Fury sighed when he saw her sad.

"It will be alright, Romanoff. We have protocol for this."

"This is unlike anything we ever train for, Nick." She replied

"He needs time to adjust, Romanoff. He has been out of the ice for a month. Give him some time."

"I'm trying my best not to shoot him in the face, sir"

"Listen to me, Natasha. His unstable and erratic behavior was a result from being out of the ice for too long and it did some effect on him. As well as, waking up to find everyone he knew was gone combines with the fact that he was away from his life-mate for too long can cause his aggressive behavior too."

Nat didn't know what to say so Fury continued with his speech.

"He needs time to get over everything from his past. He also needs time to grieve for everything he has lost. Not to mention possibility of serious PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, and Depression."

Fury gave her a list of what the Captain might be facing right now. He hadn't had a chance to mourn his best friend's death or his fellow Howling Commandos or Howard Stark. He was lost and out of place and doesn't know where he belongs (Well, Natasha had an answer for that.) He was angry and had been through more shit than most people ever will.

It was easy to sympathize but it didn't explain why he has to be so cruel to a total stranger, especially her.

"What about what I have been through here? He doesn't even care about what I feel, sir." She said, "It hurts a lot sometimes."

"He's denying it because he's still confused."

Natasha nodded, "And he doesn't seem to feel any pain when he is away from me or when he yells, insults, or hurts me physically while I feel all of it."

"Our expert said it was because he still has his bond with his life-mate while you only bonded with him. He still holds on to Peggy Carter and the bond will help ease some pain."

"Shit" Natasha muttered.

"Don't worry. The next time he lays his hand on you, I will put him back in the ice myself."

"Does he…have a chance to completely lose his mind?"

"Probably" Fury answered honestly, "But we have a protocol for that."

"What? Lock him in the unbreakable cell?"

"The measure for now is to put him in the ice until we come up with better solution than this one." Fury got up from his seat, "That's all I have to tell you for now, Agent Romanoff."

"Thank you, sir."

"Hope to have you back in New York soon."

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><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	7. The Release

**Sorry for putting you guys through a lot of pain. It's my first time writing the story with angst as a main genre so I may over did it with all the angst. **

**Thanks for your review and feedback from the previous chapter.**

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><p><strong>7 : The Release<strong>

Steve came back to her apartment at noon with arms full of grocery bags.

"Where have you been?" Nat sprung to her feet when she saw him entering the apartment.

Her first reaction to his presence caught her off guard when she felt the urge to lunge forward and hug him tight in her arms but years of training had her push that feeling away.

_Where the hell did that coming from?_

Steve put the bag on the kitchen counter and turned his attention back to Natasha.

"On the rooftop, did some thinking and went to the grocery store just around the corner."

"Fury came to see me this morning."

"A mission?"

"No, it was something else. It's about...our current situation."

His expression went blank and he turned away, heading for his room but he turned to her again,

"I'm sorry about last night." He said, "You don't have to forgive me though."

"I will never forgive you, Rogers." She replied coldly

* * *

><p>Steve went to see Peggy the next day in the morning and Natasha had to go along with him again. She didn't like it. She hated every minute of it but she has no choice.<p>

The Captain was sitting in the room with Peggy Carter and they were talking again. They did a lot of talking, more than he did with Natasha.

But there was something off about him that Peggy could easily notice. She saw him often drift into his deep thought and sometimes didn't listen to what she said.

"What is it?"

Steve snapped out of his deep thought and turned his gaze to her, "Sorry?"

"What is it that bothering you?"

Steve was visibly hesitant and Peggy could read all the emotion shown on his face. He was always an open book to her.

"You're guilty about something."

"Yeah…"

"You don't have to hide it from me."

"I know…I just…I shouldn't tell you about this. You will be disappointed in me."

"Just tell me, Steven."

"You're not gonna believe this but I met my soulmate." He said, "She's waiting for me right outside."

"I'm glad for you, Steve. You need that special someone more than anyone else."

"But I don't want her, Peggy. I didn't love her."

"You have to let her in, Steve. And move on with your life. You should do the right thing with her."

"How can I do the right thing for you and for the woman who claims herself to be my soulmate? I don't know what to do anymore. My love is for you but at the same time, I have to be her soulmate."

"Steve, don't let me be your excuse for this. You shouldn't hang on to your past when there is a good life ahead of you. I found my soulmate too. We love each other. We lived happily together and you should have that too."

"I almost killed her yesterday." Steve finally told her what was trouble him, "She tried to say the same thing as you but it only provoked me and I ended up almost break her neck."

"Oh, Steve…" Peggy scolded "That's the last thing you should do to your soulmate."

"I didn't want her as my soulmate, Peggy."

"You cannot choose who is your soulmate, Steve. It doesn't work that way. God chose that person for you. He must have a plan ahead for you two. You will find your happiness if you let her in, Steve."

Steve was quiet as he tried to think.

"You know, the only thing that has let me live is my bond to you." Peggy told him. "You know that if I break my bond with you, I will die."

"Please don't do it, Peggy." Steve quickly replied, "I still need you to guide me."

"No, you don't. You have your new guardian angel now, Steven. And she is waiting for you outside."

"Peggy…"

"I'm tired, Steve. I should get some rest."

"Okay."

Steve got up and pulled the blanket to cover her body before pressing a kiss on her forehead. Peggy squeezed his hand before slowly drifted back to sleep.

* * *

><p>The next day that Steve visited Peggy she said that she wanted to meet Natasha, to Steve's disagreement. She demanded that he get Natasha and for him to wait for them outside while they were talking.<p>

Peggy only needed to know that Natasha was good enough for him.

"Agent Carter" Natasha peeked from the door, unsure what to say.

"Please come in." The older woman said.

Natasha awkwardly moved herself to stop beside Peggy's bed. Well, it was a very awkward situation if another person was your soulmate's life-mate.

"You must be Natasha." Peggy spoke up first to break the awkward silent

"Yes, I am."

"And you are his soulmate."

"Yes."

"He can be really stubborn." Peggy said, "But he's not the same man I remember."

"My boss believed that he suffered a lot of trauma."  
>"You have to be very patient with him, Natasha." Peggy said, "He had been through a lot more than you can imagine."<p>

Nat felt a little relaxed when they began to talk. The old woman could somehow relate to her fear and her sorrow over this matter.

"Do you love him?" Natasha asked, "Do you still have any feelings left for him?"

"At first, I was really glad that he's still alive…but the timing isn't right. Look at me, I'm old and I'm about to die…The only thing that is holding me to this world is my bond with Steve."

"You didn't break it yet?" Nat asked. Peggy tiredly nodded, "Why didn't you break it once you met your soulmate?"

"It doesn't go that way, Natasha. You can't just say it out of nowhere. You have to say it in front of your lifemate. Even with how much I want to end up with Steve, my feelings for my soulmate were stronger than what I have with Steve."

"There is no way to get away from all of this, isn't it?"

"Yes, your soul binds together the moment you look him in the eye. Even the bond was tiny but it is a lot stronger than what the lifemate has shared with each other."

"How can I get to him? I mean, he never lets his guard down. He never ever shares his thoughts or his feelings with me."

"Don't let him fool you with his stone cold mask, Natasha. I knew him. He was dying inside. He never let himself bleed on anyone. He would rather bleed himself to death inside rather than showing the world his weaknesses."

Nat kept quiet so Peggy continued with her speech.

"You have to be there for him, Natasha. He is lost. He can't find the way home anymore and you, his soulmate, are the only one with that ability to do so. You're his only home now even if he hasn't realized it yet."

* * *

><p>Steve had to sit around and wait until Natasha came out to meet him at the parking lot. Millions of thoughts ran through his mind and all of them was making him go insane. Every thought that came back to him was how he could ended up with Peggy, how he could grow old with her, watching their children having their own families.<p>

It was just a dream now. It could only happen in a dream and he's rather live in it.

This new world was nothing like his time. Everything was so complicated even the condition of living was better than the 40's. He admitted that he was confused, he was scared of this whole new world. He didn't have friends to help him through this.

He didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to any of them and now he had only Peggy left.

_How was he supposed to live on without someone guiding him? He had to put his life in the hands of a woman he just met? How could he trust her?_

_How could he fall in love with the woman he had no interest in?_

Steve had to admit that she was beautiful, _stunningly beautiful_, but she was nothing compared to the woman he loves. He couldn't lose Peggy. She was the only thing that held his past and this horrendous present.

"Hey!" Natasha said loudly and Steve snapped back to reality.

"What did you guys talking about?"

"It's none of your business." Natasha shot him back

"Tell me right now." He growled.

"I don't hear you ask nicely."

Steve sighed, "Fine, keep it to yourself."

Nat fought back the urge to kick him in the face. How would they will be able to live with one another if every time they ended up arguing. Peggy Carter had a lot of faith in them but she couldn't even see tiny bit of it.

How could Peggy Carter see any potential in them? Steve Rogers and her were a mixture of chaos and disaster.

They ate dinner separately. Nat occupied her couch in the living room while Steve was in the kitchen, eating as fast as he could and went back to his room immediately.

The next day, they went to meet Peggy again but this time Natasha kept her watch from a far while Steve and Peggy sat in the garden and talked.

"Steve, what are you doing here with me?" Peggy asked, "Your soulmate is waiting for you there. Why don't you spend your time with her? Bonding with her?"

"I don't like her." Steve muttered under his breath, "Why are you keep pushing me away?"

Peggy lightly chuckled, "Oh, Steve, I only want the best thing for you." She replied "I'm not the best thing for you anymore. Natasha is."

"Peggy…"

"I only want you to be happy, Steve and I cannot provide you with that anymore. I want you to be happy with your soulmate the way I have shared my life long happiness with mine."

"Peggy, I don't…"

"Listen to me, Steven. You have to let her in. That's the only way you will find peace with everything you have been through. She's the only one with that power to do that for you. The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over"

Steve frowned, and started to realize what was going on but before he could stop her, it was too late.

"Steven Grant Rogers, I, Peggy Carter, break every bond and hold I have over you as your lifemate and set your free."

Steve felt some part of him being ripped off. The bond between him and Peggy was gone. The only thing that held him back, tied him with the 40's, shackled him with his illusion that he could have everything he wanted, a normal happy life after a war with the woman he loved, was gone.

He suddenly felt all the pain stabbing inside him the way he never felt before. It was too much that he couldn't handle and it sent him to the ground. Peggy hurt him, just to free him from the past so he could start his new life and move on.

Steve painfully screamed as the pain tripled itself. His vision slowly changed back to black and white. Steve blinked furiously as if the vision would turned back to colour again but it wasn't working. The pain inside him wasn't subsiding either.

"Go back to her, Steve." Peggy said, "She's the only one who can help you."

He screamed loudly again before slowly crawling his way out of the garden. His soul loudly screamed out his soulmate's name because it knew that this was the only way to stop all of this madness.

Then the pain began to subside when Natasha came rushing in and held him tight in her arms. Steve breathed heavily as the pain slowly faded away under her soothing touch. He heard Natasha's steady heartbeats and her beautiful voice humming something like a lullaby in foreign language to calm him down.

He hated this. He hated that his life had to depend on someone. Especially someone who was the person he tried really hard to run away from.

Her voice continued to sooth him and ease his fear and pain. Natasha gently rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Steve. You're gonna be okay." She whispered, "Can you get up now?

Steve nodded and she helped him get up. She could see panic showing on his face.

"Let's go home." She said and led them back to her car.

Steve sat quietly all the way back to Natasha's apartment. Natasha knew he was thinking about every single thing. Now that he knew how she felt every time he was away from her, how she felt when he unleashed all the cruel words on to her.

Now that his life depended on her and he felt 100% pain, she had equal chance to get back at him if she wanted to.

* * *

><p>They stayed in DC for three more days before heading back to New York. Steve was left completely broken. There was no chance that he could have Peggy back in his life. The bond was broken but his feelings for her didn't magically stop.<p>

The flight back to New York was quiet but Natasha kept her vigilant eyes at Steve all the time. She could tell that he hadn't made peace with any of his past yet. And then she realized something, he was bleeding inside like Peggy Carter told her. It was her chance to get to him and tried to bond with him.

But then something in his eyes made her heart ache, she knew that look in his eyes. It was the look of a man who lost everything and he was about to go insane at any moment.

The quinjet landed at the tower with every residents of the tower there to welcome them home. Steve tensed up when Pepper and Darcy gave him a welcome hug. He only raised his hands up and placed on their back out of courtesy, not that he wanted to do it.

Clint hugged his best friend tightly. Nat hugged him back tightly with the same affection. That's what made Steve's whole body tense up. Some part in him wanted to rip Clint away from her and another part wanted to keep Natasha in his arms so she couldn't be touch by any other man.

He shook those thoughts away immediately and realized how these new feelings toward Natasha was so terrifying.

Natasha sensed his discomfort and looked up to see a deadly glare from Steve which fixed at Clint. She broke away from the hug. As Tony began to usher them inside the tower, Steve looked at her for a brief moment before turning away like she wasn't there at all.

Nat quickly paced after him because she feared of the pain. They huddled inside the elevator and Tony managed to get Steve and Nat pressed up against each other in the corner of the elevator.

Steve had to wrap his arms around her small form when Clint and Thor came near her. He did it out of instinct and some random emotion that he didn't know. She could feel the warm radiate from his body. It must be his metabolism rate that she read from the file Fury gave to her. She leaned in and for the first time in her life, Nat felt the peaceful comfort.

Feeling daring because he didn't push her away, Nat rested her head on his chest and heard his heart beat like a drum. Steve let her have this moment despite feeling uncomfortable. But he couldn't help but notice the way she fit perfectly in his one was brave enough to interrupt this moment. The moment they all hope for, the moment Steve Rogers let Natasha in.

But their hope was crushed the moment the elevator open at the living area and everyone walked out of it. Steve pushed her away and stormed off immediately.

"Okay, I feel like you guys finally bond." Tony spoke up and looked between the soldier and the spy.

No answer from both parties.

"Alright. Then I think we should figure out how you guys are gonna live together."

"We're not gonna live together!" Steve replied and stepped away to create more distance between him and Natasha.

"We have to live together otherwise you will suffer that pain again!" Nat yelled back and stepped closer to Steve who put his hands up to stop her from coming close to him

"What the hell are you doing?"

"We have to bond."

"Stay away from me!" He yelled at her, "Even though Peggy broke her bond with me, it doesn't mean I have to fall in love with you!"

Steve stomped off to the elevator and left Natasha behind.

"It takes time, red. He just woke up from ice and found his life turned upside down within the span of 1 month. It's not easy for everyone to move on." Tony suggested.

"You know what. I don't want him either. He is nothing but a stranger to me."

"Don't say that. Whether you like it or not, he is your soul mate."

"All I know about him was from SHIELD file and history book, Tony. How am I supposed to love him if he doesn't let me in?"

"You have to try, Romanoff or else you will suffer a lot of pain."

Nat frowned at Tony's warning. '_Suffer a lot of pain, huh?_' She thought, if she could take pain the Red Room bestowed upon her maybe she could take whatever that….

"ARHH!" Nat suddenly screamed when she felt the pain piercing through her body. Her eyes snapped shut but when she opened again her eyes again to see that her vision turned back to black and white. From the floor above, they could he Steve's scream echoed. Tony helped straighten Nat up. This kind of pain was the whole new level of hurt.

"Told you."

"What the hell was that?"

"If you and your soulmate were apart more than…uhh…specific range, you will suffer like this and lose your ability to see colour."

"What the fuck?" She muttered angrily. "I just got it back and I didn't see enough colour yet."

"I suggest you two should move in together."

"Double fuck." Nat rolled her eyes as she had to accept the truth.

She had to be close to Steve Rogers at all times.

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><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	8. The Misunderstanding

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :) **

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><p><strong>8 : The Misunderstanding<strong>

Despite how much he hate to live together with Natasha on the same floor, it didn't stop everyone from helping her moving in to his apartment. He didn't have his things laying around that much because he just woke up and everything from his past was gone except for his belongings in the army.

Stark had everything shipped to the tower and gave Steve a credit card if he wanted to go shopping and buy some 'up-to-date' clothes.

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothings wrong but your granpa style clothes make you look like a man out of time."

Steve glared at the billionaire but Tony shrugged it off and walked into Natasha's room where Clint and Thor were helping her with the heavy belongings.

"Where shall I put your painting, my lady?" Thor asked.

"You can hang it on that wall." Natasha replied. She was balancing herself on the ladder with one leg as she put her kitten crystal glass on the shelf.

Steve frowned when he saw how every man surrounded her. They gravitated around her like she was the glue that held them together. It must be because of his soulmate instinct that generated all of this territorial feeling toward her. He didn't let it but he couldn't control it.

When the night fell and everyone adjourned to their own floors, Natasha and Steve went to their separate rooms. Somehow the pain began to bubbling underneath their skin but Steve shrugged it off and hit the shower but when he came out, he found Natasha sitting on his bed waiting for him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked harshly and pulled her up from hos bed.

"I can't sleep because of the pain." She answered. "So I will sleep here."

"Go back to your room. We will not sleep in the same bed."

"Don't worry, cap. I will not be offended by your morning wood."

Steve frowned, "If you want to stay here, I will go."

"Then I will follow you and we both won't get any sleep tonight."

"Go away. Stop bothering me, woman."

When he uttered that word, Steve was swiftly taken down to the ground by Natasha Romanoff wrapping her thighs around his neck and throwing him down. She landed on her feet gracefully and smirked down at him.

"Just for the sake of living peacefully together, never ever insult me or utter a single word that indicates I am any less than you."

She marched out of his room with her blank expression and that was the first time Steve felt the wrath of the Black Widow. She had been playing nice with him for some times now so this was her time for a little pay back.

Natasha went back to her room but she couldn't sleep. The nagging pain of being separate from her soulmate was something she cannot shut off. She closed her eyes, trying to count from one to one hundred but she couldn't do it.

Then the pain had completely vanished and it took her by her curiosity. Natasha shrugged it off because she was too tired to get on her feet again and slowly let herself drifted into her slumber.

* * *

><p>To be honest, this soulmate thing was the only thing she couldn't figure it out. It was the most complicated thing that even the two of the smartest men in the world couldn't figure out. Tony and Bruce couldn't identify the pattern that occurred between Steve and Natasha.<p>

Sometimes they could be at a greater distance away from one another but sometimes they couldn't bear the pain from being away only a few meters. This was the whole new level of soul mates thing they didn't know about.

Like this morning, she was at the gym sparring with Clint but Steve was nowhere to be found but she guessed he was in the labs two floor above. She didn't feel any pain. She felt rather good that she could be away from him.

"You're not paying any attention, Widow." Clint's voice brought her back from her deep thought together with landing a hit on her upper left arm.

Nat yelped and jumped away. She rubbed the hitting spot and winced. _Great, that will leave a nice bruise on her._

"Sorry. My mind is wandering a lot lately. I can barely concentrate on something when everything seems to go back to that man."

Clint frowned at her answer. This doesn't sound like the great Black Widow at all.

"Did you talk to him yet?" Clint asked, "You gotta talk to him, you know, to make it work."

"No, I don't want to. Every time we talk, we ended up yelling at one another."

"Are you sure he really is your soulmate?" The archer asked "I mean, it seems like god from high above wants him to be your archenemy instead."

"Yeah, my archenemy would suit him better."

"You have to learn to be together. You are soulmates for one another but it doesn't mean it is the shortcut to happily ever after. It's still a relationship that needs time to work out."

"What makes you suddenly an expert on being in a relationship, Clint?" Nat asked teasingly "Because the last time I check, you walked out on that Bobbi girl."

"Yeah…"

Clint didn't finish his sentence because he felt another person's presence in the gym. Natasha turned around and saw Steve and Bruce standing at the doorway with Bruce holding the medical kits in his hand.

"Natasha, let me check your arms." Bruce said as he went to the ring.

"No, Bruce. It's really nothing." Natasha replied and stepped out of the ring.

Bruce was about to help Natasha sat down but someone took her hand and gently guided her down to sit on the stairs. Nat knew whose it belong to and she looked up to see a pair of deep blue orbs staring at her.

"Let him check you." Steve said.

"It's nothing, Rogers."

"Natasha…"

His eyes said everything and Nat did as he said. She pulled the sleeve of her t-shirt up and revealed a purple bruise.

"Did you keep checking on me?"

Bruce looked up at Steve and the Captain nodded, "He feels it."

"Feels what?"

"I feel that my left arms was hurt...like something hit it really hard but nothing physically hit me so I guess it's from you."

"Woah! Are you shitting me right now?" Natasha sighed "You say now that we can actually feel each other's pain when one of us get hurt?"

"It's likely to be the only explanation."

"It's just a coincidence."

"I was sitting still on the couch with only Tony and Bruce around me and they were three meters away from me."

Nat turned to Bruce, "Does this mean I have to stop sparring too, Bruce?"

"I'm not quite sure. Maybe it's the onetime thing."

"So you're worried about me, huh?" Natasha asked teasingly and smirked

"Not one bit."

That was his reply but his eyes said something else. _Is he finally starting to open up and let her in for a little?_ He finally did care about her or finally saw her as a friend, not his enemy. Steve quickly turned on his heels and walked out of the gym.

Natasha got up and quickly followed Steve into the elevator.

"Why are you following me?"

"The distance, remember?"

Steve sighed and headed to his room. He locked the door behind him as if it would prevent him from breaking in to his room. _Well, heavily guarded fortress couldn't keep her target away from her, what makes Captain Spangled think he could hide behind that door?_

She let him have this one before she began her mission to break the ice with Steve Rogers.

* * *

><p>Just when everyone thought they stopped fighting, they fought again and this time was occurred in the living room where everyone could only stay away from the yelling match.<p>

Insults flied, cruel words stabbing each other like knives, everyone could clearly see that it hurts them but neither willing to stop. Natasha was about to snap Steve's neck while the Captain was likely to punch something.

Their argument turning into a screaming match and it terrifying everyone but no one was brave enough to stop them.

This time was more than the previous ones. Natasha used every fact, everything she knew about Steve to hurt him. She wasn't afraid of him because she knew now that she had her power over him too. For Steve, even though he didn't know anything much about Natasha he used everything he knew to fight against her.

"Their sexual tension is reaching the point where they are going to fuck or kill each other at one point." Tony whispered to Bruce and Pepper.

Steve was the first to stomp off and to the elevator. He couldn't stand this woman anymore because if he had to listen to one more word of her, he probably choked her again.

But when he stepped in the elevator, Natasha followed in.

"We're not done yet!" She bellowed at him.

"I think we are done, Romanoff! We are done since you brought the one topic I told you not to bring up!" He yelled back.

Another yelling match occurred and in the heat of their argument, Steve hardly pushed Natasha against the wall. His hands tightened around her arms, likely left bruises again. Natasha stared back and prepared to fight.

Before anything occurred, the elevator stopped and the light went off.

"What the hell?" Nat said.

Steve let go of her and stepped back.

"JARVIS…" Nat called the AI but he didn't respond, "It looks like we stuck here for a while."

"I will figure out how get out of this."

"This is Stark's elevator. Do you really think he had a hole for us to get out of this? He build it to prevent the intruder from escape. The only person who can get us out is JARVIS or Stark."

"It doesn't make any sense." He replied, "And how do you know the security measure of this place?"

"I'm a spy for god's sake. It's what I do."

"Yeah, and you've been doing a very good job at it. You have been manipulating me to your will since I moved here!"

"Yeah, and you're not the guy who opened up to me either, Rogers. I've been trying to reach out to you and you shot me down!" Natasha shot back, "How are we supposed to establish a relationship when you sealed yourself out like this?!"

And Natasha was up against the wall again. This time Steve pressed his entire body against her and it made her stop her rumbling.

Their breath were heavy and their chest heaving, their faces were inch away from one another. They closed their eyes as their faces move closer but then the light came on and the elevator started to work again.

Steve let go off her and walked out of the confined space. He needed to be alone. He needed to clear his head.

Steve was confused, very very confused by everything. His emotion, his feeling, his memories from the past, every ghost that haunted him had him become a very unstable person. One minute he wanted to kill Natasha, another moment he wanted to protect her.

A heavy punch went through the wall to let out his anger and scratched his fingers a little.

_How would he do this?_ He always had answers for all the questions, he used to have strategy and everything to handle all of this.

But the only solution came to his mind, he needed Natasha to stop all this madness and it's the only way was to let her in. _First things first was to gather his gut to apologize to Natasha._

* * *

><p>Steve woke up in cold sweat. It was 6 AM and he couldn't go back to sleep right now. He buried his face in his hands trying to shake the certain redhead out of his mind but he clearly couldn't do that. So the Captain got up and decided to go for a run.<p>

He didn't feel any pain from being away from Natasha. It didn't seem to happen lately either. (Well, except for when they were arguing and insulting each other.) So he thought he would go for a run. He hadn't been out of the tower for some time now because of Natasha and this soulmate thing.

He cleared his head, putting the earbuds on, turning a music on and then began to run up the street.

He made it to the central park when he felt a little string in his chest but he shrugged it off and kept running. The more he was away from the tower, the pain increased but he could take it. He had a very high pain tolerance.

The one thing that Steve forgot was that his pain was a two ways street.

* * *

><p>The thing that happened between her and Steve, their screaming match, gave her a headache so she went to bed early to avoid her soulmate and probably their argument. She had a very deep sleep for the first time in a very long time. It was like her mind and body knew her soulmate was close.<p>

But something did interrupted her peaceful sleep. She abruptly woke up because of the pain stung in her chest and this time it strike her hard. It was severe than gotten hit by sniper round.

"ARGGGG!" She started to scream and her body curled tight into a ball.

"Agent Romanoff, are you alright?" JARVIS asked, concerned.

"Get me Clint…." She groaned before starting to scream again.

Clint came running into her room with everyone followed behind.

"Tasha" He called her and saw her face contorted in pain. Tears was pouring down from her green eyes.

It was the sight nobody ever thought they will see. Natasha Romanoff was never ever let her guard down like this.

Nat began to scream again before she fell to the floor Clint and Thor helped her back up.

"What is it, Bruce?" Tony asked "Tell us!"

"I don't know…"Bruce replied "Wait! Where is Steve?"

"He's out for jogging, sir." JARVIS replied, "The tracking in his iPod said he is in Central Park."

"Thor, go get him."

"AYE!"

The god flew through the window while the others trying to ease her pain but it didn't work out. The only thing that will work was Steve's presence.

_How could he do this to her? How could he be so cruel that he had her in pain just to torture her?_ The thought only made her tears fell freely.

Thor flew over the park and located Steve doing sit-up on the bench.

"Steven! We need you back at the tower right now." Thor boomed

"Of course."

"Hold on tight, captain."

That was the only thing the god said before he took Steve's waist and flew back to the tower. They reached his floor and Thor almost threw Steve to the floor of her room. When Natasha saw him, she came running and threw herself into his arms, held him tight and began to cry again.

Steve felt his heart break, seeing Natasha cried like that and hugged her back.

"Natasha, I'm here." Steve whispered.

"Why are you doing that?" She said painfully and gripped tight to his shirt. "What have I done to you?"

"Nothing, I'm sorry."

Everybody began to dissolve themselves out of Nat's room to give them some privacy. Steve didn't let go off Natasha and continued to console her until her sobs began to subside.

Steve didn't hear any movement from outside her room so he assumed that everyone had already left them alone. Natasha's tears still fell and they were still clung to each other. Steve felt his pain was gone and Natasha must have felt the same too.

Natasha pushed him off and got back to her feet.

"I never thought you will be this cruel, Rogers." She quietly said, "You know that we have to be together and your brilliant mind thought that it was a good idea that you should go for a run!"

"Natasha…let me explain."

"No! You don't want me and I get it. I was putting up with you a lot this past two months and that's enough for me to be the receiving end of this cruelty you decide to bestow upon me because you just didn't want me!"

"I'm sorry. I just thought that…"

"Thought about what? Thought about how much it will hurt me so you took this chance to punish me on something that I don't even know!"

Steve felt another wave of pain stabbing his heart at Natasha's word but he couldn't get her to listen to him.

"Natasha…please listen..."

"If I knew you would be this cruel to me, I wish that I hadn't found you in that ice. I will leave you in the ice alone for the rest of your life!"

That took him off guarded and it hurt him more than anything else. _Did she mean what she said?_ If she really means it, it would be the most cruel thing to do. The ice was too cold, he was alone and there was nothing good about it at all.

He was trying really hard to apologize to her or make her even slightly listen to him, let him make it up to her. But what she said hurt him so much that it made him replied to her in the saddest voice Natasha ever heard.

"I didn't want to be thawed out and found you either."

With that he walked out of the room and left Natasha alone. She felt something tingling, her instinct sensed something was about to happen. She followed Steve out but she didn't find him anywhere in their apartment.

"JARVIS! Where is Captain Rogers?" Natasha asked.

"On the lab floor. ma'am." JARVIS replied,

Nat ran to the elevator and was just in time to find Steve lock himself inside the cryogenic chamber and the freezing process was begun. Natasha screamed out his name and went to stop the machine.

"JARVIS! Stop it right now!" She told before the pain sent her to the floor as well.

_"Agent Romanoff!"_ JARVIS called _"Are you alright, ma'am?"_

"No, get me Stark right now!"

_"Yes, ma'am."_

Natasha heard Steve screamed as every inch of his body began to freeze up. He shut his eyes tightly to keep all the bad memories away. Natasha's hand was at the machine but she couldn't anything.

"Nat!" Clint ran to her.

"Where's Steve?" Tony asked

"Stop the fucking machine!" Natasha said

Tony and Bruce went to the panel and stop the machine. Steve was 20% froze. As the machine opened, Thor caught the unconscious body of the Captain.

"Take him to the medical wing! JARVIS, checks his vital."

Clint helped Nat up from the floor and she immediately went to her soulmate.

"Stay with me, Rogers."

* * *

><p>It took Steve two days to recover from the freezing. Natasha never left his bedside in the medical ward. Everyone saw her cry again and this time, everyone had enough of them hurting one another.<p>

They will have a big lecture await for the spy and soldier after this.

Natasha also realized that if Fury decided to put her soulmate back in the ice, the pain would be too much to bear and she would ask to follow him into the chamber.

"How are you holding up to, Agent Romanoff?"

"I'm okay, sir."

"Did he hurt you again?"

"No, I hurt him this time. My words drove him off."

"Maybe you two should try to break the bond." Fury suggested, "Maybe the god from high above will see that you two really aren't compatible."

Natasha kept that option in her mind.

Steve woke up to find Natasha. Warmth rushed through his body the moment he saw her. He reached his hand out to touch her red curl but the memories of the last thing before he froze himself played in his mind.

_'If I knew you would be this cruel to me, I wish that I hadn't found you in that ice. I will leave you in the ice alone for the rest of your life!'_

He pulled his hand back and left her alone.

Bruce came in a moment later to check him. Natasha woke up right away when she sense someone else's presence. Nat moved away to give Bruce a space. The rest of the team came in and settled down around the room waiting for the Doctor to finish.

When Bruce finished, everyone looked like they were about to scream or yell something at them.

"YOU TWO MUST FIGURE IT OUT HOW TO BE WITH EACH OTHER RATHER THAN TRYING TO KILL ONE ANOTHER!" Pepper angrily bellowed at them.

"I agree with Pepper." Tony nodded, "I have had enough of your soap opera."

"THIS IS THE GIFT FROM GOD AND YOU TWO ARE NEGLECTING IT." The CEO kept bellowing at them, "This is a gift and you should be thankful for it and cherish that you have found someone especially made just for you."

"There is no way you can get out of this" Bruce chimed in

"Friends, I worry about the two of you but Asgardians don't have a phenomenon like this." Thor spoke up, "But I do have to say that you should finally open up to one another."

The couple stayed silent and didn't make any eye contact with anyone.

"Can I move back to my room now?" Steve asked.

"Yes, you can." Bruce replied.

* * *

><p>Nat took Steve back to his room and made sure he wasn't going collapse. She knew she had something to say to him, to make all of this settle and she already made up her mind that she will do this when he woke up.<p>

"I know you hate me."

He turned to her, confused, "What?"

"You don't like me and you don't want to be with me."

"Is that what you think?"

"The way you act makes me think, Rogers. But I completely understand. I'm just a stranger to you." She explained "Just so you know, I don't want you either but we seem to be stuck here."

"Natasha..." Steve tried explain but Natasha didn't listen

"I am the one who takes everything from your life, ain't I? You thought you can have a chance to live your life the way you want, to use this second chance to get what you finally want with who you want to spend with."

"What are you talking about? That's not what I meant." Steve said "You have to listen to me, Natasha!"

"As a soul mate, we don't have any compatibility at all." Natasha continued to rant and didn't give Steve a chance to explain. "We should go our separate ways." Even that's what she want but her soul screaming something else, "I, Natasha Romanoff, break every bond or hold I have over you as a soul mate."

The moment Natasha said those words, Steve fell to the ground and his face contorted in pain. It was like a hundred knives stabbed into his body at the same time. He clutched his heart, tried to keep himself from screaming.

"What the hell are you trying to do to me?" He breathed hard, trying to fight back the pain.

"Break whatever hold I have on you so we can have our life back and you can have someone that you want, someone that isn't me!"

"It doesn't work and nothing will work, Natasha! We are soulmates, not just a life mate that we can just lift the fucking bond and free ourselves from one another!"

"I'm sorry but I cannot do this anymore."

"I don't hate you, Natasha. I'm confused of whats happening to me." He said, still not moving from his place. Nat had to hold him in her arms to get rid of the pain, "I'm so fucking confused. One minute I went under, another minute I wake up 70 years in the future, another minute I met you. I was trying to deny it since I woke up and yesterday I just realized how much we need each other and how horrible the thing I had done to you. I'm terribly sorry for what I have done and I will not ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it."

"I'm sorry…" She quietly whispered "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want us to have our normal life back the way we want it."

"I know. I want that for us too but clearly we can't." He kissed her forehead to console her "We have to learn to live with one another because this is something we cannot fight or run away from without hurting each other."

Natasha quietly nodded and rested her head on his chest.

_This was one hell of a thing_. They didn't teach her how to handle this shit back in Red Room but there was something about how Steve gently held her in his arms.

For a guys this big, he was surprisingly gentle. He must have learnt back in the 40's that everything else was more fragile than him.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you. Some part of me hates you for taking everything away from me, shook me to the foundation of my beliefs. I tried to deny it but I just realize that the only way that both of us can be happy is that we have to learn to at least not arguing with each other."

Natasha nodded. _This was one hell of a thing._

* * *

><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	9. The Haunted Memories

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

**Another ****announcement! I just put my new story on FF. It called 'Bad Romance', a Romanogers teacher/student AU. Please kindly check it out :)**

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><p><strong>9 : The Haunted Memories<strong>

Last night Natasha noticed that something had changed about Steve Rogers. It looked like he was trying really hard to change and treat her better than before.

Steve cooked her a very nice dinner and he tried to actually talk to her, ask her a questions and really get to know her. It was the first time that he gave her a smile, even if it was a fake, a forced smile.

He stayed in to watch a rom-com movie with her. He actually laughed and smiled but she fell asleep in the middle of the movie and he made sure that she was in a deep sleep before carrying her into her room.

Well, she wasn't actually a deep sleeper. She still had some conscious left. It was her thing, she had been doing this for too long, it was her job. She always kept one eye open. Steve gently laid her on her bed and pulled the blanket over her. She reached her hand out to grab his hand.

"Steve…my gun…"

Steve handed her a gun and Natasha put it under her pillow but didn't let go off it. He took notice of it but didn't say anything.

"Goodnight, Natasha." He said before walking out of her room.

* * *

><p>Natasha woke up from her deep sleep that she noted to herself she should get rid of this habit. It was the habit that someone in her line of work shouldn't acquire. But it was a very nice habit and she'd never had this much rest in a long time.<p>

She thought she knew the reason to this. Steve Rogers, her soulmate must be the one who caused this to happen. As if her mind knew he was close to her and she could relax near him. Nothing will harm her with his presence and safety he will provide to her.

Nat got up and found Steve in the kitchen cooking their breakfast and judging by the smell of it, it must be really delicious.

"Hey" She sleepily said

"Morning." He replied "What are you making?"

"French toast, poached eggs, well, typical breakfast normal people eat." He replied and gave her a small smile, "If you, uhh, eat that kind of thing."

"I'm not a normal person but I do eat normal things."

"Here you go" He put the plate in front of her

"Thank you"

She grabbed the plate and walked to the couch. She settled herself down pretty comfortably and turned on the television. The broadcasting news took their attention.

'We are having a bank robbery in Brooklyn right now by a group of super villains calling themselves, the Serpent Society." The broadcaster said, "Looks like the Hulk is here with Thor!"

Steve grabbed his own plate and sat down next to her.

"Why did they not call us?" Steve asked

"Well, our condition isn't exactly ready to fight." She replied, "Until we figure this out. We are grounded, off missions, off work, off the team."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's Fury's order to keep us safe." She changed the channel to something else.

Steve could clearly see how much she wants to get back in the field and actually do something.

"Why do you want to get back there so bad? Am I boring or something? Did I drive you away?"

"No! Steve, no. It's not that. I just miss the action sometimes."

He just nodded and got back to his breakfast. Natasha casually put her feet on the coffee table which earned her a glare from Steve.

"Feet off the table." He half growled at her.

She looked at him and a corner of her lips quirked up, "Fine."

They enjoyed their meal in silence but it was a perfect morning they didn't usually have.

"You know you can talk to me the way you did before. I kinda miss it." Steve spoke up out of nowhere.

"Steve you don't need to fake to be happy with me. You are an open book to me, Steve. Just be honest with me. Your life will be happier if you're not lying to me."

"I'm always honest, Natasha. I want to be happy with you and I think the first step is I have make myself feel happy, to learn to be happy again."

"I will help you with that Steve." Natasha replied and gave him a bright smile.

He began to like to see her smile.

* * *

><p>Everyone noticed that Steve and Natasha became quite close and fond of one another. No one outside the pair knew what was going on between them but they took it as a good sign. They didn't fight and they spoke more. Natasha smiled more than ever and Steve was the one who made it happen.<p>

They always found the couple in the living room, sitting together and laughing. Like this morning when Bruce and Tony came up from the labs and found the couple enjoying their breakfast and the TV show together.

"Am I dreaming or they're actually laughing?" Tony quietly said to Bruce who was as shocked as he was, "Not to mention they are willing to be that close to each other."

"It seems like that way, Tony." Bruce replied

The two geniuses found themselves smiling when Natasha casually leaned her head on Steve's shoulders before they cooked themselves their breakfast and joined the Captain and the spy in front of the television.

But what they didn't notice was how Steve stiffened up every time Natasha touched him or did a little intimate thing with him. Though his opinion toward her had change he was somehow scared of having her in his life after he treated her so badly before.

The point was…he didn't know how to treat a woman or how to be in a relationship. The thing he had with Peggy was brief and they had no time to pursue their romantic interest. Duty came first as they thought nothing could go wrong and he went under.

He didn't know how to do it; How to make her happy, how to make her smile, or how to treat her. She deserved someone much better than him.

A soothing touch on his arm brought him back to reality and he saw Natasha looked at him with worried eyes

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just…"

"I feel you trapped in your thought but I didn't know what it is."

"It's nothing. It's just…I don't know how to treat a woman or how to be in a relationship." He said with a slight blush on his face.

Natasha smiled fondly at him, "You don't have to learn anything Steve. Everything will come naturally."

"How can you be so sure? I have like zero experience in this."

"I'm not exactly the expert too. My past relationships are total disaster."

"I guess we have to try."

Natasha smiled a little before leaning her head against his shoulder and felt her body relaxed. She got to admit that since Steve broke his bond with Peggy Carter everything was better between them. He finally realized how much this soulmate thing was really important and he finally acknowledge her existence.

It was good to have someone who cared about her.

* * *

><p>Steve had been struggling with his nightmares for a while now. Even though he had Natasha to repel everything from him. He couldn't shake this one off. The nightmare had been more and more unbearable every time.<p>

It was one of the side effects of being in the peak physical human condition. He could remember everything like his brain was recording a video of his life. He sometimes saw his past come alive and it haunted him. He saw his friends walking and everything was too vivid. It was too real that sometimes Steve couldn't tell the difference.

It wasn't like he never had nightmare before. He had them a hundred times but this time was different from every time. It was too much and he felt like he was about to losing to it and let the bad memories succumbed him.

Natasha had been noticing something different too. She didn't have nightmares for sometimes now (Because of the soulmate thing, Steve did help repel bad dreams from her.) but there was something nagging at the back of her head and made her wakes up in the middle of the night.

She got out of her bed to the kitchen and then she heard a painful groaned from Steve's room. Then she heard a terrifying shout of someone's name from his past that made her running into his room to find Steve curled up tightly. His hands clutching the cover that tore apart by the force he was holding it. He screamed again and Nat held him in her arms.

"Steve, listen to me…listen to my voice and try to snap out of it." She said and rubbed his arms, hoping to wake him up as gently as she can, "It's just a dream, Steve. Wake up,"

He continued to thrash wildly and murmured something that likely to break her heart.

"Steve…wake up. It's not real…."

He snapped his eyes opened she could she how terrifying it was. He took a sharp intake of breath before quickly pinning her down by her throat. When he completely regained his conscious, he saw Natasha, not his enemy and he jumped off his bed, letting go of her. He looked terrified, sweating, panting and freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. How did you know?"

"You were screaming and there was an image on people from war time running through my dream too."

He frowned "We shared it…?"

"Probably."

Steve was completely freaked out. Natasha got out of her bed and hugged him. Steve rested his head on her shoulder.

"You gonna be okay, Steve. I'm with you."

Natasha gently guided him back to his bed and settled him down. They sat together on the bed with the spy holding him all the time.

"Can you tell me about your dream?"

"You don't want to hear about it."

"It's about the war, isn't it?" She asked "I see the guy falling from the train."

"That's Bucky, my best friend."

Steve ended up telling her everything about the dream. He didn't know why but her soothing touch made him opened himself up to her.

Then he realized, only his soulmate could do this kind of thing to him.

* * *

><p>They didn't continue with their sleep but Natasha did held him all night and took him down to the living area when morning comes. Steve felt a little relax and Natasha was okay to finally let him go. Steve felt better when he saw the sun coming up from the horizon as the sign of the night was over and nightmare couldn't harm him again.<p>

Steve was sitting on the kitchen stool waiting for Natasha to cook him with her comfort food. Steve lately found himself loving when she cook and Natasha did had a very good culinary skill which reminded him of his mother. He loved to watch her cook in the kitchen too. He missed the domestic life a lot when he went to war. To be honest, he couldn't imagine the picture of Natasha being a spy or go to war when he was so used to see her in this domestic state.

The rest of the team came downstairs the moment later and inhaled the aromatic scent of the food Natasha had been prepared.

"That's smell really nice, red." Tony said as he set up his coffee machine.

The food she cook smelled really nice. So made him a soup and bread that will help comfort him somehow.

"Come on, Steve. Eat it up before it's cold." She said

Steve slowly ate it but as soon as it hit the bottom of his stomach, he stood up and ran to the bathroom before he vomited everything out. Natasha went after him and found Steve in the state she never thought he will be.

"Are you alright?" She asked as she knelt down next to him

"I'm fine."

He lied and she knew it because she saw sanity slowly left him and he locked himself away from her again. She helped him up and set her mind that she will made him feel better again.

"Does he need medical attention?" Tony asked when he saw the couple

"No" Natasha replied.

"Do you have a room where you can lock me up?" Steve asked.

"Steve…"

"A really solid confinement where I cannot break out if I totally lose it. I don't want to hurt anyone especially you, Natasha." The soldier quickly explained.

Tony looked at Bruce like he was asking the doctor his opinion. Bruce took a moment to analyze the situation before he replied,

"We have a containment room."

"Please take me there." Steve quickly said but Nat grabbed his arm.

"No… Steve. Don't do this. You don't have to do this."

"I have to." He replied, "I don't want to hurt you."

Bruce led him to the Hulk containment room especially designed just in case he hulked out and things got out of control. Bruce ordered JARVIS to open the lock for him.

"Are you sure, Captain?"

"Yes, doctor."

Steve stepped inside and Natasha was about to follow him but he stopped her. He looked at her with his sad blue eyes before the glass door slid closed and locked down.

Natasha didn't like this idea. She knew he won't hurt her but Steve will not take that chance. He was standing on a very thin ice right now. It hurt her emotionally to see him like that. Captain America was supposed to be strong and a beacon of hope for everyone. He supposed to be a symbol of strength and leading this team. He wasn't supposed to be fragile and plagued by nightmares and suffered from PTSD like this.

"I'm sorry I let you down, Natasha." He quietly said, "But I can't take this anymore."

"Let me help you, Steve."

"No, I just need time to adjust my mind."

"If you don't come out, I will be right here."

And Natasha did just that. She waited there for him to come out. She will be here to watch him, to let him know that she will not leave him and she was here to help. She was worried that he might hurt himself but he didn't do anything and sat there, in the middle of the room, quietly thinking.

Then he began to mumble something that Natasha couldn't catch and curled himself tightly into a ball. Everyone took their shift to stay with Natasha in case anything happened. They all saw the Captain at his lowest point and couldn't help but sympathize him.

They all knew how much he had sacrifice, how much he had lose his friends, how many terrible things he had done back during the war. It all came back to haunted him now.

Natasha couldn't fall asleep even Tony sat up a couch for her and everything. How could she possibly had any sleep when her soulmate was having living nightmares like that?

They both looked like hell the next morning Thor found them. The god came to them with breakfast tray in his hand and stayed there to keep Natasha's company. Thor left the tray at the door for Steve but he refused to let Natasha inside.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Tony were having a conference call with Fury and his expert. They were working on the solution to solve this problem. Tony informed the director that he couldn't put Steve back in the ice anymore because Natasha surely will follow him.

"It looks like the only solution for this problem is Agent Romanoff and her power as his soulmate over him. She was the only one who can reach out to him and bring him back in a time like this." Dr. White said, "It's the only logical solution for them now. From what I heard, he already opened up to her so...why don't we use this as a way to help him?"

* * *

><p>They told Natasha about this the moment they got off the call with SHIELD. The solution Dr. White told them was risky because if Steve totally lose his mind, he will likely hurt Natasha but they knew it was the only way to help Steve from the deep dark pit in his mind.<p>

Today he reached a whole new level of insanity when he started mumbling something about streets and name of places like he wanted to make sure he was in a real place that he knew. He stared outside the confinement. His body was here but his mind was completely gone.

Then he started to talk to himself. He was talking like there was someone else with him in the room. The people outside the confinement didn't hear every word of it but from the look on Steve's face, he was already lose his mind and trapped in the illusion.

"Who did he speaking to?" She asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the poor super soldier.

"He was hallucinating, Natasha." Bruce explained "That effect could happen to him. From the old file from SHIELD, they said it likely to be one of the side effects of the super soldier serum. He will remember everything vividly like it was a video recorded in his mind."

Natasha frowned, "I will go in there."

"Are you sure you can snap him out of the illusion his mind create?"

"I have to try. If I cannot do it then who can?"

Clint wanted to stop her but Natasha quickly told JARVIS to unlock the door for her. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't see him being like this. Natasha slowly stepped close to Steve until she was near him but he couldn't sense that she was there.

Nat held him in her arms and she felt his muscle flexed at his touch but there was no struggle.

"Listen to my voice, Steve. It's time to come back to reality now. The vision you see is only in your mind. The more you hold on to it, the more it will trap you there. Come back to me. I need you, my soulmate."

Steve whimpered and refused to do so. He wasn't sure that her voice was real or just another illusion. Natasha held him tighter.

"Steve, those illusions are not real." She said again "Come back to me, my soulmate. Please don't do this to me."

Nat felt his arms wrapped around her body, his body shaking and he rested his head on her shoulder before breaking down and cried.

"I saw them again." He sobbed. "It can't be stop. I cannot stop it."

"I'm here, Steve." She gently stroked his hair "You will be alright. It's just an illusion. It's not real."

Nat held him and consoled him, told him to hang in there and she will help him in every way she can. She must let him know that he didn't do this alone. He had his new family to help him now.

Everyone could see that Steve was about to go crazy with everything but the only person to calm him down was Natasha.

The Captain finally got up from the floor and followed Natasha out of the containment room. Thor stepped forward and gave the Captain a hug. Everyone else followed and initiating a biggest group hug with Steve and Natasha trapping in the middle.

"Thanks guys." Steve said.

* * *

><p>Natasha took Steve back to their floor and refused to leave him alone even when he insisted he was okay now.<p>

"Natasha, I'm fine now."

"No, you won't."

Steve couldn't do anything to talk her out of this and the best thing he could do was to except it and Natasha gave him a biggest smile when he finally gave up.

The biggest surprise of the day was when Natasha decided to slide herself under the cover with him.

"We are not sleeping in the same bed." He said as he tried to get away but she took his hand.

"Don't go, Steven." She commanded "I will help you with this and we're gonna do it my way."

"I'm not going to break down again."

"I called it a precaution, cap." Natasha replied, "At least the soulmate thing can help you with it."

"Okay."

He slid back in with her and Natasha immediately wrapped her arms around his torso and resting her head on his chest. It was oddly comfortable and she liked the way his body was very warm.

Nat heard Steve sighed in defeat and smiled to herself.

"Goodnight, cap."

"Night, Natasha."

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><p><strong>-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse<strong>

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	10. The Favorite Girl

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

* * *

><p><strong>10 : The Favorite Girl<strong>

To Natasha's surprise, Steve didn't freak out when he woke up and saw her in bed with him. He was rather calm and relaxed and held her tighter. Well, she faked to be as sleep to gauge his reaction. The reaction satisfied her curiosity.

They had been sleeping in the same bed together for a week now and Natasha saw some progress on Steve's PTSD situation. Steve had less nightmares and he slept more comfortably and more peacefully. Natasha stuck close to his side all day and night to make sure he was doing okay. She had to be there to catch him if he fell again.

But overall progress was very satisfying and the connection—bond between them was strengthened. Dr. White's theory was right. Your soulmate is the only person in the world who can help you with everything. The only one who can pull you out of the darkest pit inside your mind.

She tried to be strong for both of them, considering how fragile Steve was right now. She was trying very hard to be strong but the only matter was when it will be her turn to break. She could see Steve was trying very hard to recover from this. He blamed himself for being weak even though Natasha said it was nothing and it was totally normal for humans to experience depression.

But they had to do this together in order to move past this point.

She was the only one who got time to be in Steve's company because well, Fury grounded her due to the soulmate issue between her and Steve. They still had the distance issue that they couldn't shake, no matter how hard they were trying to fix it, to find a way to cheat this.

She couldn't go out undercover or do her job. Steve was nowhere near ready to get back on the field again. He hadn't picked up his shield since well, he came out of the ice. He didn't touch at all and left it in the corner of his room, but she caught him staring at it when he was trying to think.

"Maybe you should try to pick it up again." She quietly spoke up when she walked into their bedroom and found him sitting at the armchair near by the window and stared at his shield.

"I don't want to." He replied, "I'm not worthy enough for it. I barely handled my stress and PTSD. I don't think I can handle it."

"You can, Steven Rogers. Because you are Captain America."

"Maybe some other time, Natasha."

Steve got up from his seat but he noticed that she was dressed up quite nice like she was about to going out.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I just feel like dressing up because, you know, I can't exactly go out because I can't be too far away from you."

"Where do you want to go?"

"What?"

"We can go out."

"Are you sure, Steve?"

"Yeah, why not? I shouldn't be the reason to keep you inside the tower and you should tell me if you want to go out."

"I'm not sure if you want to go or not."

"I would love too, Natasha." Steve said with a bright smile she didn't see in a while, "But you have to help me with the wardrobe. I have no idea how people dress up these day."

Nat grabbed his hand and led him into their walk-in closet and began to raid his closet and tried to find the most up-to-date clothes for Steve. Lucky for her, everyone was there when they went on a big shopping trip to buy clothes for the Captain when they learned that Steve would be living with them.

"Here you go." She handed him his clothes but Steve looked at them with terror in his eyes.

"Are you sure it will suit me?"

"Steve, with a face and body like that you will fit in with everything just fine."

He blushed at that, "Thanks…"

"I will help you put it on." 

Steve was trying to say no but Natasha left him no chance to protest. She pulled the thin white t-shirt off his body before quickly pulled a grey t-shirt over his head. Her delicate hands adjusted the sleeves to fit perfectly on his biceps. He put on a dark navy blue hoodie and brown jacket.

"Turn around" He ordered when he was about to change into a pair of jeans.

"I've watched men undressed before."

"Just turn around, okay?"

"Come on! We are soul mates! It's not weird if we see each other naked."

"It's weird for me."

Natasha sighed and turned around. Her ears still listened to his movement and she decided to turn around at the perfect moment where Steve turned away from her and pulled his jeans up. Natasha madly grinned when she saw his sculpted ass.

"You have a very nice ass." She commented.

Steve shot her a deadly glare but he couldn't stop Natasha from doing anything that she wanted. She completed the look for him by putting a blue cap, a pair of glasses and gave him a pair of sneakers.

"We will go undercover as a hipster couple today so no one will recognize us when we go out."

"How can they recognize us?" Steve asked, confused. "Are we famous or something?"

"Well, it's mostly me who people will recognize because of the battle of New York while you are a very fine specimen and this will help prevent you from attracting every woman in this city."

Steve hesitated for a moment but when Natasha held her hand out for him, Steve quickly grabbed her hand and followed her out. He knew deep down he trusted her after everything that had been through together.

"Agent Romanoff, may I ask where are you and Captain Rogers are going?" JARVIS interrupted as the couple reached the elevator.

"I don't know. Just spending the day around town. That's all" Nat replied "And tell everyone, don't wait up."

"Yes, ma'am, and have a good day."

Natasha noticed a hoard of Avengers fans camping out at the front entrance so she dragged Steve to the garage and they took the back door out of the tower.

"You guys really are famous. Back in the 40's, I had fans camping out like that but mostly they were 12 years old."

"The only thing that can keep your status incognito is that SHIELD doesn't reveal that they have already found Captain America." Natasha replied, "If we do, you might want to lock yourself up in the tower."

"You know me too well. I'm not a big fan of being in the crowd."

"Don't worry. You will learn the lesson directly from the best. First of all, hide in plain sight. Don't run. Walk."

"These shoes will fall off if I run." Steve retorted back.

Natasha rolled her eyes, "Normal clothes like this will help you blend in with the crowd." She said, "Don't bother wearing sunglasses because people will look at you more than not wearing it."

Natasha pulled her hood up to cover her fiery red head. Steve knew she did it to avoid being noticed. Her red hair was very noticeable to be honest. The next thing Natasha did was to slip her hand in his.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked but didn't pull away. He had to admit it. He loved her small delicate hand and the feeling while he held it.

"We are a couple, remember?" She replied and gave him a very predatory smile.

Steve froze in his place when Natasha closed the space between them and leaned up to kiss him at the corner of his lips.

"You don't have to test my limits." He murmured

"I didn't" She replied, still not backing away from him "You're my fake boyfriend and it's not weird if we showing each other some affection."

His lips twitched up a little, "Well, Tasha." He purred her name and sent shivers down her spine. Her name was so sexy when it came out from his lips like that. "My girlfriend, do you have any plan for us today?"

"I have two or three places in mind."

Natasha broke the spell of the moment by pulling away and dragging Steve to her favorite café a block away from the tower. They sat at the outdoor patio to enjoy the sunny day in New York City.

"I believe Stark and Bruce already taught you how to use that thing in your hand."

"Yeah, a Starkphone though I don't know why he gave me because I have nobody to call anymore."

Nat pulled the phone from his hand and began to explore the Captain's phone.

"I'm still confused with all this new technology. But it is really fascinating how everything changed within 70 years." He said, "But I will get used to it very soon. Stark teaches me some basics."

"No worrys. I will help you with all of this." Natasha replied "When you have anything, just come to me first and I will help you with it."

"Thanks…"

Steve watched as Natasha type something into his phone before handed it back to him.

"You have phone numbers of everyone in the tower now."

"But why there is only your number in my favorite scene?" Steve asked. He frowned as he saw 'Soulmate' as a caller ID for herself.

"Because I'm your favorite girl."

Steve smiled but he turned away from her. She sensed he was uncomfortable with her flirting with him but he covered up with another smile like he was forcing it out. She didn't like it when he has to fake it with her.

Natasha grimaced a little and her good mood faltered a little. Steve noticed it and held her hands gently.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…" She lied "What should we have for our brunch?"

* * *

><p>Clint and Tony had a very good time teasing them when they came back at the tower at 9 PM. Natasha shot them a deadly glare but it didn't stop them. Steve told them to stop but it didn't work and Natasha dragged him back to their floor to end the conversation.<p>

They took showers separately but ended up in his bed together again. She still didn't let him sleep alone even though he told her he hadn't had a nightmare in three days now but Natasha said she will not take that chance again.

Steve was prepared to go to sleep but he noticed Natasha slipping a gun under her pillow.

They woke up again the next morning and they found themselves just having one hell of the deepest sleeps in a very long time. Steve held her tightly from behind with her back pressed tight against his chest.

Natasha pecked her lips on his cheek as a way to say good morning. Steve gave her a soft smile and kissed her forehead in return. They enjoyed a quiet peaceful moment of the morning by staying quiet, holding each other's hand and just savoring their companion.

"Would you like me to make you a breakfast?" Steve spoke up first.

"That would be lovely." Nat replied

He got up first and scooped her up in his arms. Nat spent a good 30 minutes just keeping her eyes on him, watching him moving around the kitchen. All round it was a nice morning but Clint called her up, said he needed her help with the training and Steve said he had something to talk to Bruce too.

"It's nothing to be worried about, Natasha." He ensured her.

Nat only let him go because he didn't lie. She headed out to the gym while Steve headed for the labs where he found Bruce working at his latest research.

"Dr. Banner" Steve greeted

"Hey, cap. What can I do for you?" Bruce looked up from his work.

"I need to ask you something." The captain replied "It's about what happened recently between me and Natasha."

Bruce put down his pen and gave Steve his full attention as Steve sat down on the stool opposite to the doctor.

"Well, Natasha told me that she and I might share the nightmare or may be a dream because she sees what I saw in my dream."

Bruce thought for a second, "It can happen, Cap. It's possible that the phenomenon might occur with the two of you."

"Why do you sound unsure about this?"

"Because that should happen later than this. Not this early. You guys just started to bond but you seemed to connect with each other on every level."

"Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's a good thing, Steve. The only downside would be you and her will need each other more than normal soulmate does." Bruce explained "This is confirmed on of my theories about soulmates."

"Which is?'  
>"There is no specific pattern for how a couple of soulmates bond because you and Natasha are a totally different situation from me and Dr. Ross."<p>

"In conclusion is Natasha and I have to experience it by ourselves and there is no way I can plan anything ahead of time."

"Yes" Bruce nodded "It will be easier if you let her in completely. Opening up to her will help you with this. Everything will go smoother and faster than you expected once you let her in, everything will fit in the right place almost instantaneously."

Steve only nodded, "Thank you for the clarification, Doctor."

"You're welcome, cap."

* * *

><p>Clint kept her with him all day so they could finally talk without Steve around Nat and the archer could get honest answers from her. He asked about everything that happened in her life lately and how the adjustment was going. To his surprise, Natasha answered everything.<p>

"I think we are okay, you know, if I compare from when we first met."

"At least he comes to some sense about treating his soulmate the right way."

"I know he is trying to treat me better but sometimes I can't help but feel like he is pretending to be happy for my sake."

"Give him some time, Tasha." Clint suggested "I believe he will finally fall in love with you."

They talked a lot about this matter and Clint made his best effort to provide Natasha with positive thoughts. But JARVIS interrupted their conversation to inform the spy that Steve asked for her at their floor.

"Tell him I will be there in 5 minutes."

She hugged Clint and walked out of the gym heading for her floor. When she walked into the living area, she found candles everywhere leading to their dining room which Steve set up nicely.

"I hope you don't mind." He said sheepishly "I cooked us our dinner."

"Wow..." That was all she can say "You did all of this?"

"Yes, for you." He smiled brightly

"Thank you"

"You can take a shower first. Lamb will be ready in 15 minutes."

Natasha couldn't resist and give Steve and kiss on his cheek. The Captain's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a little. Natasha couldn't resist a smirk and quickly hit the shower. When she came out, Natasha found her Captain set up the table and decorated her plate. He smiled and pulled the chair out for her.

She sat down and Steve leaned forward to kiss her neck. Natasha tensed up but the feeling inside of her was really good.

"Hope you like it." He said.

And she did like it. His culinary skill was superb and it added a bonus point to her soulmate. Natasha found herself thinking that she was one hell of a lucky girl to have Steve Rogers with her. His crusted roasted lamb was a food from heaven. The wine he had picked complimented their main course very well.

Steve actually smiled honestly at her.

"I like when you don't have to force a smile for me." She spoke up, feeling the need to make it clear for both of them. "Like I say you never have fake or pretend anything when you are with me. We supposed to be honest to each other, right? And I can feel that sometime I force you to be happy."

"Natasha…"

"Like the other day, I know you fake a smile. You don't like it when I flirt with you."

"Natasha…listen."

"I just want it to be real. I want the real you."

"I didn't pretend or anything, Natasha. I just didn't how to react or how to be in a couple." Steve interrupted "I obviously didn't how to handle when a woman—a very beautiful woman flirts with me. I want the best for both of us too but I don't want to force you to love me or anything."

"Then I will make it clear, Steve Rogers. I want to be with you all the time and maybe the feeling inside of me isn't love right now but I kinda want to be with you and figure this out with you."

"I would love for you to be with me all the time too, Natasha." He said "And this time I wasn't lying. I really needed you more than you ever know."

"I know because…"

"You can read me like an open book."

"Yes, I can." She smiled "What do you think about visiting SHIELD tomorrow with me? I can show you around."

"It would be lovely."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**- Please check out my new story, "Bad Romance" It's a Teacher/student AU**

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	11. The Different Side of the Same Coin

**11: The Different Side of the Same Coin**

Steve offered to take Nat for a ride with him on his motorcycle. She was okay with it and ended up telling him the directions all the way to the Triskellion. Everyone who was in the main lobby that morning was surprised to see the Black Widow dragging a man into the building with her.

"Ma'am, we cannot let him inside." The guard said.

"He's with me." Natasha replied and tried to scare the man with her deadly glare.

"Natasha, I can wait for you in the lobby." Steve tried to solve the situation before they both got thrown out of the building but Natasha raised her hand up to stop him,

"I have important matters to discuss with Director Fury and this man is my soulmate so you know that I cannot be away from him. If he doesn't come with me, you may have to explain to the Director how I cannot be there to attend the meeting."

And it worked. The guy stepped away but gave Steve a security badge in exchange for his ID card. Natasha grinned devilishly because she knew the security guy will have a heart attack when he saw the name.

"You-You're Captain America?" He asked.

"In the past, yes but right now I'm kinda grounded with…her."

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't recognize you."

Nat waved the guy off before he started to fangirling like her handler Coulson. They took the elevator up to Fury's office where the secretary told them that Fury was having a meeting with Maria Hill right now. They sat and waited while the secretary observed the couple openly. Natasha could tell that the secretary was very jealous that she had a very fine specimen in her arms like this.

Not to mention that he was Captain America.

They didn't have to wait for long. Maria came out five minutes later and gave them a nod.

"The director will see you now."

They got up and Steve followed her inside the director's office. Nat secretly slipped her hand in his as they walked but she hid their hands behind their backs.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff." Fury turned to them with his full attention, "Haven't see you in a while. I see you and Captain Rogers finally get along."

"Yes, sir." They both replied at the same time.

"What brings you two here today?"

"I would like to ask permission to take Captain Rogers and show him around SHIELD."

"Okay, permission granted." Fury said "Show him around, tell him about everything we do around here and make him feel at home."

"Of course, sir." Natasha nodded

"Go now."

Natasha dragged Steve out of the office right away. She knew just the place to show him and she knew he would like it.

* * *

><p>Natasha took them back to the main lobby again and led him to the Wall of Valor. She knew it was the first place he would want to see in this entire establishment. He needed to know that there was always brave men and women who willing to sacrifice themselves to protect freedom and innocent lives. People who uphold and shared the same belief of Captain America.<p>

"The Wall of Valor?" Steve asked. Eyes moving to read every name on it.

"Memorial to the fallen agent of SHIELD and the old SSR units." Natasha told "We have this wall in every SHIELD facilities"

His eyes stopped at one name. The only name that he knew on this wall.

"What is it?" Natasha asked when she saw Steve's entire body tensed up.

He didn't reply but he gently traced his fingers on that name. His stare was blank as he fell into his deep trance of thought. Nat tried to call him again but he didn't reply. He began to shake and shut his eyes tightly.

And Nat knew he was having an episode.

"Steve! You are hallucinating again! Snap out of it!" The spy shook his arms lightly and Steve turned to her immediately.

"I'm sorry." He said "I just thinking about…the train and the falling."

Natasha hugged him tightly and Steve hugged her back, resting his head at the crook of her neck.

"Thanks." He whispered "What would I do without you?"

"Yeah, it's good to know that you need me." Natasha smiled a little "You're okay now?"

"Yeah"

She let go of him before she took him to somewhere else. They headed to Wall of the Founders where there were names and pictures of people who helped found SHIELD. There was a picture of Peggy, Howard and Colonel Phillips. Natasha was worried that Steve might began to hallucinate again.

But it was the good sign that he just stared blankly at all the picture.

"Those were my friends in the Howling Commandos." Steve told "Peggy, Howard…"

"You should be proud. You inspired them to continue to live on with what you believe."

"I don't know that I inspired people that much."

"Come on, you're the Captain of America."

Steve chuckled at the name she gave him. They moved on to walk around the facility and Natasha showed him the gym, the training center, and they ended up at her small office, drinking coffee from the coffee maker Clint gave her.

"Agent Harvey!" Natasha shouted loudly from her chair.

The agent that Natasha called came running into her office, terrified.

"This is my order for mine and Captain Rogers' brunch and if we didn't get it in ten minutes, you will…."  
>"Of course, Agent Romanoff. Right away!" The young agent said and ran off.<p>

Steve looked at her, "You don't need to do that."

"Well, I'm the Black Widow and this is how I run this place."

"I thought Fury run this place."

"Ha ha ha ha" Natasha sarcastically laughed "I need to maintain my scary, deadly reputation around here so Clint and I scared those new intern every now and then."

Steve never thought being with Natasha will be this much fun. Seeing her doing all these crazy thing around SHIELD, pulling pranks on SHIELD personal.

It was wrong of him to judge her when they first met. She was actually more than the mask she wanted people to perceive her as. He loved discovering the new side of her and every time she seemed to amaze him with her amazing self.

It wasn't that bad if he only opened up to her.

* * *

><p>After a small brunch in her office, Natasha took them to the main cafeteria to give Steve a little heart attack. She knew he was always nervous when he was in the middle of the crowd. Nat saw Clint sitting at a table with Tony and Bruce so she walked towards them.<p>

"Hey guys!" Nat greeted as they approached the table.

"Hey, Red! Didn't know that you're here today" Tony said.

"Did Fury call you guys here?" She narrowed her eyes because they were here for a reason.

"Well, technically, He wants us to watch over you guys in case something happen."

The couple frowned at the three men at the same time. Steve didn't say anything but Natasha felt the urge to protect her soulmate.

"He's not gonna attack me."

"It's not that, Tasha." Clint replied

"Don't you dare lie to me, Barton." Natasha screeched and Steve had to hold her back before she attacked the archer.

"Yeah, hes kinda afraid Cap might lose his shit and kill you."

"Which is why I told him Steve will not hurt Natasha in any case." Bruce chimed in "But he wants us here anyway."

Nat folded her arms and sighed.

"Agent Matthew! This is my lunch order." Nat told another intern on her list of people to scare the shit out of him.

Steve sat down next to her and Tony and Bruce began to talk about things that Steve should do around SHIELD and Steve had to listen to Tony's plan to sneak around the facility and the hidden archive while Natasha and Clint were discussing the mission he was about to take.

"It had seriously had everything." Tony said "Every secret of everyone from the past to present."

"And may I know why you knew all about this?"

"Bruce and I sneaked around last time but the Red Menace caught us before we dug into the real shit."

The moment Tony and Bruce turned to Steve, the Captain was gone.

"Where the hell is he?" Tony muttered "Red! Your soulmate's gone!"

Natasha turned around, "How the hell? You let him out of your sight?!" The spy yelled at him.

"It's supposed to be your duty as his soulmate to keep your watch on him."

Natasha got up and looked around the cafeteria but she couldn't locate Steve around here. But she didn't feel the pain or her vision turning back to black and white. Natasha began to run off to find her soulmate before the pain came back.

"Maria! There is an emergency!" The spy said loudly and seriously

Natasha burst in the command center where Maria, Agent Sitwell, and Coulson were discussing about the mission. Bruce, Tony and Clint huddled in with her.

"What is it, Natasha?"

"We have someone run lose in this building." Natasha told "Steve magically disappeared!"

"So you lost your soulmate?" Hill inquired

"Yeah, and he could be lost into some of your super-secret basements!"

Maria looked at them like the Avengers were a little child before she turned to her agents.

"Alright everyone! Stop whatever you're doing and find Captain America."

* * *

><p>When Steve heard about the super-secret archive, the first thing he thought about was how much information he could find. The truth. The truth that Fury and his agent hadn't told him when he woke up. The second thought was that how much he could learn about Natasha.<p>

Well, the second reason was more important than the first. He knew Natasha will not have told him everything about herself. He didn't know why but he really liked to know why she was the person she was.

He just wanted to know but to be honest, he didn't have the guts to ask her directly and Natasha was likely not telling anything if he ask her.

He found the SHIELD secret archive located on the six floor disguised as an empty storage room that was not occupied. He dodged all the surveillance systems perfectly and broke into the archive.

He located Natasha's file first and he found it along with the rest of the Avengers File. He quickly opened it to find that the document wasn't black out like the one they gave him to read. This one revealed every detail about the spy.

Steve quickly read it, page by page, sentence by sentence, and took in every little information about her. The more he discovered, the more he understand why she is who she is today and why she was trying to hide her past from him or not even mention about it.

_**Summary of Personnel File: Natasha Romanoff (born Natalia Alianova Romanova)**_

_**Code Name: Black Widow Restricted Access: LEVEL 7**_

_**DOB: 11/22/1984 Place of Birth: Volgograd, USSR, Russia**_

_**Status: ACTIVE - AGENT Document Citizenship: Russia/United States**_

_**Race: Caucasian Gender: Female Dental: None**_

_**Height: 5' 5'' Weight: 135 lb. Hair: Red Eyes: Green**_

_**Languages: English, Russian, Italian, Latin, German, French, Mandarin, Kashmiri, and more**_

_**Family: Parents Unknown - Presumed Deceased**_

_**Education: Extensive Training by KGB and Red Room**_

_**Employment: - Spy/Assassin - KGB/Red Room**_

_**- SHEILD Agent**_

_**Aliases: Natasha Romanoff, Natalie Rushman, Oktober,**_

_**Mission Qualification: Highly trained in judo, karate, aikido, savate, boxing, and multiple styles of kung fu. Expert acrobat, Olympic class gymnast, athlete and aerialist. Expert marksmanship in sharpshooting and knife throwing. Master interrogator and tactician. Master shills in espionage, infiltration, disguise and demolition has put her in the highest ranking as an agent of SHIELD.**_

_**Equipment: SHIELD special designed combat suit.**_

_**Weapon: Widow Stings, Handguns (Walther PPK/S, Glock 26), Taser Disks, Flash bangs, Garrote, Daggers**_

_***Special Remark: Recently found her soulmate, Captain Steven Rogers AKA Captain America. She was grounded along with Captain Rogers for the time being until they establish bond strong enough for field work.**_

"Captain Rogers! Meet up with Agent Romanoff at the command center." Steve heard the PA blaring from outside but he didn't care and continued to read the file.

_**Natasha Romanoff was recruited to RED ROOM, Russia's cover espionage facility, where she endured both education and indoctrination into the world of spy craft. Natasha excelled in this strict training environment and soon became regarded as a master spy and one of the world's greatest assassins. Due to both her expertise and her growing threat to the global security, Romanoff quickly appeared on SHIELD's radar.**_

She had a deep dark past. Darker than him and he never ever met anyone who have been through hell the way she did before. It made Steve wonder whether she will willing to tell him about all of this or not.

_**Pre SHIELD Mission/Assassination Target (Identified):**_

_**- Kiev's Hospital Fire (57 dead, 128 injured), Primary target eliminated.**_

_**- Drakoff Assassination, Drakoff Family eliminated.**_

_**- Sao Paulo Bombing (47 dead, 87 injured), Target eliminated.**_

_**- Belgian Ambassador Assassination, Primary Target Eliminated, Secret File Secured**_

_**- SHIELD infiltration (3 Dead) File Stolen**_

_**- Dr. Michael Kingston Assassination and Newark Science Facility Bombing**_

_**- Car Bomb in Israel (28 Dead, 39 Injured) All Target Eliminated**_

_**Unidentifiable Mission/Assassination Target: 135 Missions**_

_**Body Count: 376**_

_**Director Fury of SHIELD sends Agent Clint Barton to eliminate her. Agent Barton disobeyed this order, recognizing her skill and recommending she be recruited for SHIELD. At the behest of Director Fury, Romanoff later defected from Russia and joined the ranks of SHEILD.**_

_**Agent Romanoff is a master in all the elements of espionage including hand-to-hand combat, interrogation, disguise, hacking encrypted computer system, and infiltrating secure locations. As a part of STRIKE TEAM DELTA, Romanoff now has a functioning partnership with Clint Barton, who played a key role in her escape from Red Room and subsequent defection.**_

_**STRIKE TEAM DELTA: OPERATIONS REPORTS**_

_**ABIDJAN- OPID:12.6.T.5604**_

_**Due to highly unstable of the area, SHIELD research camp was sieged by terrorist organization. (SHIELD research team was gathering unknown metal (Later identified as object of unknown origin or ) the mine outside of the city.) Director Fury ordered STRIKE TEAM DELTA in search and rescue mission and eliminated hostile.**_

_**BUDAPEST- OPID:52.2.F.987**_

_**Agent Romanoff was send to gather information of a well-known…**_

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" A voice bellowed from above Steve.

The Captain looked up and found his furious soulmate hanging from the ceiling and jumped down to stand next to him. He was about to explain but Natasha's face turned into what he identified as horror when she saw the file in his hand.

Steve's eyes widened when he realized how much he made Natasha pissed off. Before he could do anything, she snarled something in Russian and used her Widow's Bite and shorted him the ground.

* * *

><p>Pissed off wasn't the word to describe how Natasha felt right now. Steve went behind her back and read her personal file. Her personal file that only Fury can read it. She couldn't believe that he will break into the super-secret archive without trigger any warning and duck information about her rather than asked her directly.<p>

But that was what make Natasha think about it. If Steve did ask her directly, was she brave enough to tell him the truth about her deep dark past. All of it.

She didn't know that he will be able to accept it or not. Everyone will tend to stay away from her if they knew the truth about her.

"It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you wiped off that much red?"

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakoff's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital file? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away."

Yes, Loki got through her and his word haunted her every time. His word rang in her head when she thought about the horrible thing she done with the Red Room. How could someone will be able to love her and thrust her completely with that much red in her ledger.

Yeah, she was disgusting. No wonder why everyone was afraid of her let alone trust her.

She had no friend because of her past. No one wanted to be friend with the deadliest assassin on earth. She didn't want to be friend with anyone too because she was afraid that her past might endanger them. But it took broken people like the Avengers to understand her and accepted her from who she really was.

And she hoped Steve does the same.

Her green eyes locking at the unconscious super soldier who was passed out by her widow's bite to his neck. She was angry and he deserved it.

Steve was slowly began to shift and opened his eyes. He blinked for a couple time to adjust his vision and saw Natasha sat across their bed. Her eyes were fixing at him but her face was blank.

"I'm sorry." He knew that she was angry.

"Save it."

He got up and went to her, knelt down in front of Natasha, "I'm truly sorry. Let me explain."

"You don't have to." Her voice had gone cold and Steve felt worse than he already was.

"I just want to know more about you. The real you, your past, your present. I only wanted to learn more about you because you didn't tell me a thing about your past or what you did before you came to SHIELD and I doubt that you will answer truthfully if I ask you."

Her mask slipped for a moment and Steve knew he spoke the truth.

"There are some disturbing past that I rarely told anyone. It's disgusting and people tend to judge me from my past. You will too."

"I'm your soulmate." He said, "I supposed to listen to you."

"You don't need to know."

"Please, Natasha."

She looked into his eyes and kept quiet for a long time. She needed to gauge her decision whether to trust him or not. She didn't know what his reaction will be. She was about to let him into her world and let him knew something she never ever told anyone but Clint and Fury.

But her soul told her that she could trust this man but he instinct said otherwise. It was a gambling but the way he looking at her right now only made it hard for her not to talk to him.

"Natasha, do not fear of me. I'm your soulmate."

"Please don't hate me after you know who I really am." She whispered her worst fear to him

"I will not hate you or judge you. You have my word." He replied calmly and softly that made Natasha began to relax.

The spy kept quiet for a moment, mulling over about where to start telling him. Steve patiently waited for her to tell him. He didn't want to push her.

Finally, she inhaled sharply and began to tell him everything. Literally told him everything from the start.

"Before I begin with this, you need to know something about me." Natasha said, "I have a Red Room variant of the super soldier serum in my vain and I am not born in 1984. I live longer than you thought. My real date of birth is 22 November 1942"

"What do you mean?"

"It means I am only 24 years younger than you." Natasha explained, "I'm 71 years old."

"Oh…"

"I've seen the world change before my eyes."

That was the beginning of her story. Steve listened intently and paid her full attention. Natasha told him everything.

She was raised by Ivan Petrovich as her surrogate father. He had been given custody of little Natasha by a woman just before her death during the Battle of Stalingrad in autumn in 1942. Then she joined the U.S.S.R.'s "Black Widow Ops" program. Petrovitch had taken her to Department X, with other young female orphans, where she was brainwashed, and trained in combat and espionage at the covert "Red Room" facility. There, she is biotechnologically and psycho-technologically enhanced—an accounting that provides a rationale for her unusually long and youthful lifespan.

While she was brainwashed, she was deployed with false memories to help ensure her loyalty. , including the fact that she had never, as she had believed, been a ballerina. She went on various missions and assassinated everyone they told her to do. She appeared in SHIELD radar. Fury sent Barton to kill but he made a different call.

"That's all" She concluded, "You can judge me all you want now, Steve. There is no hard feeling."

"Natasha…I cannot judge you from your past. I once did that and I feel bad about it until today. You're not what they made you to be. You choose your own path now. You choose your own life, Natasha. Your red in ledger is already wipe off with all the good deeds you did."

Steve reached his hand out and grabbed her hand. She looked up at him and saw how understanding he was and she felt the weight in her heart disappeared.

"Thank you" Nat said and smiled softly at him.

"Can I ask you something else?" He asked and she nodded, "Have you ever been in love?"  
>"Steve…"<p>

"Please tell me"

"Twice and I regret it."

"Why?"

"My ex-husband Alexei, we got married because The KGB wanted us to be each other's life mate, hoping that we could see colour so we will bind together and working for them for eternity but it's not working so they separate us. They made me who I'm today and turned Alexei into the Red Guardian."

"What about your second love?"

"He's my mentor in the Black Widow program. I genuinely love him but I didn't see the colour, nothing working until you."

Steve went silent for a long time but didn't let go of her hand.

"The only love I have is Peggy until you." He said.

"You can ask me anything from now on, Steve. You don't have to worry about anything. Because if I am brave enough to tell you all of my past, I think I can tell you everything."

"I will" He said "And you can ask me anything too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**- Please check out my new story, "Bad Romance" It's a Teacher/student AU**

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	12. The Make up

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

**And sorry for this stupid story I drag you guys into reading it. For those who hate this ****story, I suggest you stop reading it and never force you into reading what i wrote.**

* * *

><p><strong>12 : The Make up<strong>

Everything turned out to rather well for Steve and Natasha after the Archive Break in incident. To everyone's surprise, the two came back downstairs together in one piece. Steve obviously didn't have any scratches on him, which they bet a lot of money on thinking he would have a broken arm from pissing Natasha off.

Natasha excused herself up to their floor while Steve hung around in the living area with the team after dinner. He had something to ask Stark about.

"Just spit it out, Cap." Tony spoke up.

"Uh...can I ask you something, Tony?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Do you have any seclude place that I can take Natasha for a week? I want to surprise her with this getaway."

"Are you going to murder her or something?" Tony asked. Eye widened.

"No! I just want to take her somewhere. Like a date."

"Hmm? What do you think, Pepper?" Tony turned to his life mate who sat next to him.

"Our island in the Caribbean would be nice. It's our private island. It should keep you away from nosy eyes of reporters." Pepper suggested "May I ask Captain? What made you change your mind about Natasha?"

Steve knew right then that everyone took Natasha's side but the way Pepper looked at him. Steve knew the CEO would hunt him down if he hurt Natasha or she would kill him right away if he didn't give her the right answer.

"Uh, I was kinda a jerk to her before but now I've realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I want to make it up to her in every way I can and Natasha deserves a lot better than what I did to her in the past."

His answer warmed Pepper somehow and the CEO's lips twitched up a little.

"Private Jet will be waiting for you at the airport tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Natasha was preparing to take a shower when she sensed someone's presence.<p>

"Come out of the air duct, Barton!" She yelled and threw her knife at the air duct above her.

Clint yelped loudly before dropping from the air vent, "You don't need to do that, Nat."

"You shouldn't be sneaking around like this."

"Yeah, I'm a SHIELD agent. I never do anything normal!" Clint said before popped down on her bed.

"What are you doing here?" Natasha asked.

"Well, I came to discuss your situation with Captain Tight Ass." Clint replied casually, "I guess you and him have a very nice situation going on."

"You can say that. At least, we talk more. He's willing to listen to me and he didn't judge me when I told him about my past."

Clint only nodded and intently listened.

"I know he is trying very hard." Natasha continued, "I can say that I beginning to enjoy my time with him"

"Don't worry, you guys will have your happy ending."

"Why are you being so optimistic?"

"I still have my hopes of finding my soulmate, Nat."

Before Natasha could reply she heard the elevator dinged, that must be her soulmate. She heard footsteps coming to her room.

"Go now." Natasha commanded and Clint jumped up to his air vent.

"See ya sucker!" and with that followed by two knives thrown by Natasha.

Steve opened the door to her room.

"Hey, is everything okay? I heard you talk to someone. And what 's with the knives up there?" The Captain asked and pointed at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just talking to Clint." She replied and went up to him.

"Can we talk?" His voice turned serious.

Natasha knew something must be coming up and she was afraid that some drama might be coming up too.

"Yeah sure thing" But she accepted him anyway.

He closed the space between them and held her hands gently, "I need you to pack up your thing…."

"Are you kicking me out?" She interrupted, "ARE YOU KICKING YOUR OWN SOULMATE OUT?!"

"Natasha! It's supposed to be a surprise but tomorrow we will head out to Caribbean."

That shut Natasha up for a good one minute while she was trying to process what he just told her. She tried to say something but there was nothing leaving her mouth.

"This is the first time I've made you speechless." He noted and Nat threw a light punch at his arm.

"Don't be so smug." She fired back, "And are you sick or something?"

"No, I cannot get sick. The serum in my veins literally wipe all the sickness out of my life."

"Then why are we going to the Caribbean?"

"I want to make everything up to you, Natasha. For all the bad things I have done to you. I was a jerk and it was real stupid of me to do all those things to you without thinking. And for breaking into SHIELD's super-secret archive and read your file, that was very inconsiderate, inappropriate and I shouldn't have done it." He explained, "So are we going or not?"

Natasha gave him a bright smile, "I would love to."

* * *

><p>"You don't have to bring your shield with you, Steven." Natasha said as she was looking at their pile of luggage.<p>

"You don't have to bring your guns either, Natasha." Steve retorted, "We are going to have a nice vacation and nothing will happen."

"Are you saying that there will be no wild animal attacking us?"

"Yes, there will be no wild animal attacking us." Steve insisted.

"Are you guys done?" Happy asked as he was waiting for them to finish with their arguing.

The couple entered a staring contest before Steve spoke up first.

"Fine, you can bring your guns but I get to bring my shield as well."

Happy helped them with the luggage and took the elevator down to the garage while Natasha and Steve said goodbye to their friends.

"Don't kill each other, okay?" Pepper asked

"Just don't blow our house up." Tony agreed.

"Guys, don't worry. We're good now." Natasha reassured them again "We will be back in a week."

Everyone wished them a good luck before they met up with Happy down at the garage and went straight to the airport. The Stark industries private jet was already waiting for them. Natasha shoved sunglasses and baseball cap into Steve's hands.

"Wear it!" Steve complied, "It will help conceal your identity."

"What identity?"

Natasha didn't answer but got out of the car and went straight to the private jet. The attendant greeted her cheerfully,

"Good morning, Miss Rushman."

"Good morning, Irene." Natasha replied

Steve only gave the flight attendant a nod and followed Natasha inside the plane. They sat next to each other. The captain announced that the plane will take off in ten minutes. Steve planted his hands tightly on the armrest.

Natasha noticed it and grabbed his hand, He looked at her and saw how understanding she was. She knew he might be frighten by this.

"You should let go of the armrest before you break it, Steve. You don't want to hear Stark bitching about it when we get back." She said and tried to pull his hand off, "Come on, you can hold my hand."

"I don't want to unintentionally hurt you." He said through gritted teeth and gripped tighter to his armrest "Natasha, I can break your hands."

"No, you won't." Natasha insisted before Steve slowly let go of armrest.

Natasha brought his arm to wrap around her shoulder before Natasha leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Her other hand slipped into his hand.

"Ummm, this is perfect." She murmured "God, why are you always so warm?"

"Doctor Erskine told me it is because the serum increases my metabolic rate."

"I like it."

Steve began to relax as Natasha slowly falling asleep. Steve couldn't do anything but hold Natasha in his arms and made sure she was sleeping comfortably.

Steve spent a good amount of time watching her peaceful form and couldn't help but slowly fall asleep as well.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Rogers, Miss Rushman, we arrived at the airport." The flight attendant woke the couple up.<p>

Natasha mumbled something but didn't let go of Steve and snuggled further in his embrace.

"Can you give us a moment?"

"Of course." She told "The car will wait for you outside and the driver will take you to the pier to your speed boat."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The attendant left them alone. Steve sat still and finally, Natasha began to stir and hug him tighter. When she realized Steve was still holding her, she decided to push his limit further.

"Carry me to the car." She commanded and felt Steve tensed up a little and didn't say anything in reply.

Then he got up and left her there on the seat. It left Nat with a worse feeling than she'd ever had. Nat thought that they were moving forward but now they were back to square one again.

But then a sudden warmth envelop her as she felt him draping a blanket on her before scooping her up bridal style. Nat smiled and closed her eyes again.

"Where to, Mr. Rogers?" The driver asked

"The pier where Tony has his speedboat, please"

"Yes, sir."

When they arrived at the pier, Natasha insisted that she would drive the speedboat and Steve should trust her with it.

"I'm not gonna crash it." She told and got behind the wheel.

"I trust you."

They made it to the island safely and Steve carried everything into the house for them to find that Tony did install JARVIS in this beach house too.

"Evening, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff." JARVIS greeted them, "I will be at your service in case you need anything."

"Thanks, J." Nat said "Can you show us to our room?"

"Of course, ma'am."

The lights lite up and led them to the ocean view bed room.

"I can order everything you want from the main island and it will be delivered to the island."

"What do you have in the fridge now?" Steve asked

"Almost everything that human uses to cook food, sir."

"Great." The captain said. "What do you think about tonights dinner?'

"Don't know. Why don't we stroll the beach and relaxing for now?"

"Okay."

Steve unpacked their luggage but once he turned to talk to Natasha, he found a bare smooth expand of her back and he quickly turned back.

"What are you doing, Natasha?"

"Changing into my bikini so we can stroll on the beach or maybe enjoy the sun or the sea."

"Let's finish unpacking first."

"It can wait. Come on, Rogers!"

Steve did things too slow and Nat had to step in and did everything by herself. She found surfing shorts and pushed it in his hand. Steve tried to protest when Natasha began to unbutton his shirt quickly.

"Better get used to me stripping you off, Rogers. You don't know when Fury will decide it is the right time for us to go undercover as a married couple."

"You must miss it like crazy, being on the field and going undercover."

"You have no idea."

When his upper body was bare for her eyes to see. She took a moment to appreciate the magnificent sight in front of her. Thank you to Dr. Erskine for his serum and she was sure that Steve was way more gorgeous than Thor.

She couldn't help but touch his sculpted chest and traced her hand down his chiseled abs.

"If you don't mind, I will change into these shorts now." He spoke up

Natasha immediately withdrew her hand and turned away to give him a little privacy that she was sure she would violate again because she liked watching his muscle move. Steve turned around to see Natasha staring at him again, to be more specific, she was staring at his butt.

"Hurry up, grandpa, suns almost set. Judging by the amount of time for you to change your clothes."

Steve let Natasha drag him out of the house.

* * *

><p>It ended up with them sitting on the beach and enjoying the peaceful sunset together. It became quite normal for them now to have an easy and long conversation without it ending in an argument. Steve opened up about himself more but she knew he was still hiding something.<p>

There was some part in his life he was trying to keep to himself because he wasn't sure if that when the truth came to light, she might change the way she saw him. Because everyone will always see him as Captain America, not the real him, not Steve Rogers, the kid from Brooklyn. Natasha made a secret vow to herself that she will destroy every wall Steve was trying to build.

Even when the sun had already disappeared and only the stars occupied the blackest sky, the couple were still talking and exchanging their list of personal preferences.

Then Natasha began to name the constellations in the sky. Steve was surprised at how much she knew about stars and space. Her eyes were on the starry sky but Steve's were on her beautiful face and were marveling at how beautiful she was and how her green eyes sparkled with happiness.

"When I was trained by the Red Room, they taught us to remember stars because it could help us know our current location when we were lost."

"That's pretty amazing."

"Thanks" She turned on her side and smiled at him, "What about Captain America? Did they teach you anything back in the day?"

"Well, it was pretty much what was written in the file." He replied, "I can draw but I acquired this skill long before I became Captain America. I am an Arts student and I also worked as an illustrator."

"You must be very good at it."

"You can say that. It was the only thing I was good at before I turned into this." He gestured his buff body, "But the side effect of the serum mean I have a photographic memory. I can remember every little tiny detail and draw them accurately."

"Anything that you want to capture in particular?"

"Since I woke up, everythings shaken me to my very foundation but they all also amazed me. The only downside is that I don't want to do it anymore." He looked sad so Natasha had to wrap her arms around his big frame, "The same thing goes for my shield."

"You will fully get back on your feet soon, Steve. I've been with you every day and I can see that you've made a lot of progress."

He placed a kiss on her forehead. That was the most intimate thing he had ever done to her. They laid down together quietly and savored the peaceful moment until they felt the cold wind blow and Natasha shivered in his arms.

"Maybe we should get back inside before you catch a cold." He suggested.

"Yeah, we should."

Steve gently picked Natasha up in his arms and carried her back inside the house. Natasha loved how gentle he was with her lately. She could see that he was a changed man now compared to when they first met.

It was getting better every day they were together. He finally let her in and accepted her as his soulmate.

They took a shower separately before they met up at the master bed room. Natasha leaned back on the bed, indulgently watching her soulmate who wore only sweatpants and white tank top. Steve sat down next to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

It wasn't her sleepwear or anything that took him off guard but it was when she put her gun under the pillow and one hand clenching at the gun.

It must be her training, Steve thought to himself. Or maybe her spy instinct.

He will fix it, he vowed to himself, his soulmate will feel safe and secure around him, enough to make her forget about her gun. It wasn't the good way to live, to be alarmed all the time, afraid that someone might kill you while you were asleep.

Steve wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder blade, "Goodnight, Natasha."

"Good night, Steve."

* * *

><p>They spent most of the next couple of days outside the house. Natasha rented them snorkeling gear, scuba diving gears, and a metal detector for a scavenging hunt. Steve couldn't say no to her because the childish smile that Natasha gave him was making him say yes every time.<p>

If she was happy then he was happy too.

They did have a very good time and a lot of fun. Natasha was like a little child when they walked along the beach with a metal detector and screamed every time they found something even it turned out to be a garbage.

Steve had more luck in finding the treasure though. When Natasha finally gave up and sat down, soaking up the sun, he got a chance to use the detector and found a silver ring and a small gold medallion.

"Why are you luckier than me?" She asked when Steve came back to her.

She swore that the captain looked very proud that he found something when he showed it to her.

"Which one do you choose?" He asked back

"I will go with the gold medallion."

"On a second thought…I think I will keep it."

"You suck, Rogers!"

He laughed at her and Natasha initiating a brawl on the sand. She was able to hold Steve in a choke hold before he surrendered. Well, he didn't want to hurt her so he let her win. It was overall a pretty fun day and left them both exhausted when they got home.

The next day, Natasha just wanted to sleep and woke up again at noon. She was fully recharged and Steve had to follow her outside the house because she wanted a sun bath. This time it was completely taken to the next level. When Steve done with applying the sunscreen to her, Natasha took her top off and Steve covered his eyes.

"Natasha! What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't want to have a bikini line. I want my skin tanned equally everywhere."

"Put it back on!"

"NOOO"

It ended up with Steve had to use her magazine to cover his face the whole time and Natasha had a very good time teasing him about it. Steve blushed deep red on his ears. He muttered something that Natasha didn't catch. When they were done with sun bathing, Natasha got her a beautiful tan whereas Steve got a sunburn and that made Natasha laughed and quickly snapped their picture together.

"Come on, soldier. Let's get back inside the house."

* * *

><p>Steve woke up the next day and found that Natasha was still asleep. He gently untangled himself from her, being extremely careful not to wake her up and get shot in the face. He wrote her a small note before silently padding downstairs to prepare their breakfast.<p>

Ten minutes later, Natasha walked into the kitchen and greeted him cheerfully. It was just as he had suspected. She had woken up precisely ten minutes after he woke up because he wasn't near her.

He made her pancakes, eggs and bacon. Natasha suggested that they should go try fishing today so they could get something for their last dinner of this holiday session because tomorrow they will be heading back to New York.

But they ended up at the fish market on the main island because Natasha could easily change her mind. Steve picked up sea brass for them before they picked up other ingredients for tonight.

This marked the first time Steve cooked something sophisticated and complicated for her. To be honest, he was really good at cooking and Natasha loved it. Steve looked proud when she told him that. After that, they were sharing a nice quiet time together, sipping the white wine.

Steve looked into her beautiful green eyes and gently grabbed her hands, "I want to thank you for everything, Natasha. For being extremely patient with me even when I'm being a total asshole." He said sincerely "I bet you've tried to shoot me for a couple times, haven't you?"

"You have no idea, soldier." She smiled at him teasingly.

"I'm sorry about that." He looked down at her hands but Natasha cupped her hands between his face, "But it is because of you that I am not completely losing my mind."

"You're welcome, soldier." She replied, "But there will be no more apologizing because you already say it."

"But I will not stop making up for it." He insisted, "Because I still have a lot to make up."

"Fine…I will let you spoil me as much as you can because I kinda like it."

"Yes, ma'am." Steve smiled and kissed the palm of her hand.

"Do you think you can tell me more about you?" Natasha said

"Like what?"

"Everything."

"I will." He nodded, "When we get back, I have something to show you. It's the first thing you should know about me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**- Please check out my new story, "Bad Romance" It's a Teacher/student AU**

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	13. The Promise

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

**There will be more fluff from now on. Just stay here with me , okay?**

* * *

><p><strong>13: The Promise<strong>

"Hey! You guys got very nice tans there." That was the greeting received when Steve and Natasha walked into the living area of the Tower. Tony came into their line of sight first, "Did you guys get a naked tan?"

Natasha gave Tony a death stare but Steve's face turned bright red.

"Holy shit! You guys did it!"

"No, we are didn't!" Steve suddenly yelled

"It's not your business, Stark!" Natasha yelled also.

"Just tell me!" Tony excitingly shaking both of them, "I need the details so I can imagine it in my head!"

"Stop yelling at each other." Pepper interrupted.

"Steve closes his eyes every time I take my top off."

"Why you are suddenly change sides?!" Steve asked his soul mate. His face turned bright red again, "Natasha did that to torture me."

"Yeah, seeing him turned all red is my absolute favorite thing."

Everyone was smiling to themselves when they saw the couple bantered with each other and this vacation gave a very nice outcome. Steve and Natasha seemed to bond and begin to learn to live with each other.

"I love to see you guys getting along." Clint said.

"This way you two can bond faster than expected." Bruce agreed.

"Yeah, we're indeed bonding, doctor." Steve told him.

The rest of team had a very good time teasing Steve and Natasha about it until Steve had enough and pulled Natasha back to their floor so they could live in peace.

* * *

><p>Steve and Natasha were having a very good sleep together in their bed. Natasha took every advantage she could to snuggle into Steve's chest all night because to be honest, it was very comfortable and he was now dubbed as her personal pillow.<p>

_"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, sorry for the interruption but Director Fury is waiting for you at the living area."_

"Tell him to wait." Natasha mumbled and nuzzled her face to his neck. Steve reacted by tightened his hold and whispered something sweet to help her got back to sleep, "I need more sleep. My jetlag isn't gone yet."

_"But he insisted it is very urgent."_

Natasha cursed something in Russian before pushing herself up from the bed. Steve began to stir too. His baby blue eyes were confused as he looked at her. Natasha bent down to kiss his cheek.

"Everything is urgent to him." She said and began to change her clothes to more decent ones.

Steve didn't argue with that but put on his sweats anyway and followed Natasha downstairs. Fury was waiting for them in the living room while the rest of the team gathered around the kitchen and kept their eyes on the director.

Clint was perching on the refrigerator. Tony and Pepper leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped their coffee. Jane was trying to make Thor a pop tart and not to burn the whole tower down when she told him that the toaster needs electricity to operate. Yeah, he charged Mjolnir with his lighting and prepared to discharge it at the toaster. Bruce too was watching Fury with suspicion because he knew the Director only showed up here if there was something serious.

"Hey, boss!" Natasha greeted the man.

"Finally got up, Romanoff. This holiday's throwing you off your routine?"

"Maybe." Natasha shrugged her shoulders, "Why do you come here?"

"I come here to tell you to prepare Captain Rogers for combat and missions. Since I heard that you two are starting to get along so I might consider stop the grounding for both of you."

"That would be no problem, sir." Steve replied in a formal manner.

"That's great, boss." Natasha agreed too. The two men could notice how excited she was about this news.

Fury continued on with his speech, "Agent Hill and Agent Coulson will be here to assess your readiness for mission and combat. They will alert both of you one week prior to the assessment day."

"Yes, sir" They both said.

"Have a good day, agents."

Fury left as fast as he arrived. Natasha couldn't contain her happiness. She was so close to having her life back and would fucking finally get some action. This domestic life was dull, but to be honest, she kind of got used to it because of Steve. He was so sweet to her lately and it was addicting. Last night, he even helped her dry her hair when she asked him.

Pepper made the couple a breakfast and Natasha couldn't resist asking Steve to join her in the gym about one hour after breakfast. Everyone wanted to tell them to slow down but the couple were just so excited.

After the meal, Natasha practically dragged Steve to the gym downstairs and other members had to follow them to ensure that no one hurts anyone. They sat at the bleachers and watched the couple on the spar mat. Steve was obviously hesitating with everything.

"Maybe we should start off with you using your shield." Natasha suggested, "It's your primary weapon anyway."

"I don't know." Steve rubbed the back of his neck, "But one thing I do know is that I don't want to accidentally hit you with it."

Natasha ignored Steve and turned to her best friend instead, "Clint! Go get cap's shield. It's in our bedroom."

"Eww, I don't wanna be inside your love nest." The archer screeched, mock disgust.

"NOW, BARTON!"

Clint sighed before scaling up his vent. Steve tried to talk Natasha out of it because he wasn't sure of his fighting ability anymore. He wasn't sure of his own strength and might not be able to control it as good as before.

"That is why we have to do this." Natasha insisted, "You have to learn to control it again. I will help you with that."

"Cap! Heads up!" Someone called Steve and threw something at his direction.

Steve quickly pushed Natasha away out of his instinct and then caught his shield naturally.

"You're still the same man, Steve. You just need the confidence back."

He looked at his shield. Hand slightly rubbed on his weapon. It was a part of him, his extension, "I guess so." He replied before looked back up at Natasha, "Let's do it."

They put on a stance. Natasha took the offensive and attacked Steve first but he countered her fluidly but when it came to attack with his shield, he felt slightly off and couldn't control it as good as before. Natasha was quick and lethal. She located his blind spot and attacked it fast. Steve barely dodged and took most of the hit because his shield wasn't moving as one with him.

Natasha finally pinned him down, straddling his chest. His shield dropped next to them.

"You suck, soul mate." She said as she got up, offering her hand to help him up.

"I felt off." He replied and picked up his shield, "I guess I'm a bit rusty."

"Yeah, grandpa, you really are rusty." She agreed, "Let's do it again."

"I almost slammed your face with my shield, Natasha. I have to say no. I don't' want to hit you. I don't want to hurt you."

"You will hurt me when you actually hit me." She sassily corrected before hitting his arms, "So stop procrastinating and let's practice again!"

* * *

><p>Natasha spent most of the evening working on something she wouldn't feel the need to share with Steve so he didn't bother her with it. After spending most of the day kicking his ass, she could do whatever she wanted and he would stay out of her way.<p>

After dinner, they decided to skip the movie night and went back to their bedroom because they were both sore from all the practice. Steve and Natasha fell asleep the moment their heads hit the pillow.

But the wake up alarm blaring very loudly the next morning and woke the spy up. She was fully recharged and ready for today. She turned to see her personal pillow covering his ears and trying to get back to sleep so she shook his arm repeatedly to wake him up.

"Come on, old man! We have a very long list of things that we need to do today."

"Is it the thing you did yesterday?"

"Yeah! Come on!" Natasha nuzzled her head at his neck, "Come on, come on."

Steve finally opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around her loosely, "What do you have in mind?"

"I won't tell you. It's a surprise. Now, get up, soul mate!"

"Okay…."

She pushed him inside the bathroom before preparing his clothes for him. Then she went to take a shower. They met up fifteen minutes later.

"You don't have to pick clothes for me."

"Yeah right." Natasha rolled her eyes and went to adjust his t-shirt and hoodie.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you are a hundred years old. You always wear only t-shirts and sweatpants and your old style grandpa shirts which I thought I threw it all out."

"I retrieved them all and hid it from you."

She sighed, "Fine, I will let you wear whatever you want. Can we now get the hell out of here, please?"

"Okay."

They went down to the garage and decided that they will take his bike.

"So where do you want to show me?"

"I thought you were the one with the plan."

"You said you will show me a place when we got back from the Caribbean."

"Oh! That one…well then, let's go!"

He pulled her onto his motorcycles and sped out of the building. They were very lucky that it was very light traffic this morning and they were crossing the Brooklyn Bridge in no time.

"All my childhood is here." He told her, "This is where Captain America was born."

"Brooklyn boy, huh?"

"Yeah, born and raised!" Steve looked so proud it made Natasha smiled.

They pulled over at the soda shop. Natasha was pretty amazed that he selected this place of all the places people choose for their date. She looked at the small malt shop that it probably been here for almost a hundred years while Steve was at the door and chuckled at her reaction.

"Are you coming or not, ma'am?" His voice pulled her away from her deep thought.

"Yeah, yeah, why are you so hurried? You couldn't get any older, old man" She shot back

He smiled gently at the woman and opened the door for Natasha. They sat down at an available booth and Steve ordered them the signature milkshake.

"What makes this place so special?" Natasha asked because she still was not convince that there was anything special about this place.

"Wait until you get a chance to taste it. It's worth the wait."

The waiter served the milkshake in a tall glass with two straws. Natasha stole the cherry before Steve could even react. Her brow quirked up in a challenging way when he just realized what just happened.

"You're lucky. If I liked cherries, I would fight you for it." He teased.

"I'd just kick your ass like yesterday, soul mate. I don't think you can win."

"I will let you win anyway." Steve replied, "Now try it. It's the best."

"For the record, my standard is pretty high."

They began to drink their milkshake. Steve's eyes were on Natasha to observe her reaction but the spy remained unreadable the whole time.

"Well, what do you think?"

"C'mon, C'mon, don't rush a sophisticated palate…" She slurped up another sip and Steve looked at her expectedly, "Wow! You win, Steve—My work for SHIELD has taken me all over the world…and that is, without a doubt, not just the best milkshake in Brooklyn but on the whole darn planet."

"Told you, Natasha. There's a reason this place has been open since I was a kid—way back before world war two."

"And you had to walk uphill both ways to go to school, right?"

"Of course, in those days the malted were just a nickel…" He told, looking into her beautiful attentive green eyes.

Steve continued on telling her about his childhood and how the life back in the forties was. Natasha listened attentively to Steve and found that his life was very interesting especially the part before he became the super soldier. She'd never seen him being more delighted than this.

They finished up the milkshake but half way down the glass, Natasha hogged it all to herself and Steve let her have it. She couldn't resist taking a selfie with him and moved to sit next to Steve. Even Steve was a bit uncomfortable at the first two shots but at the third one, he was actually smiling and chuckled. Natasha pressed her lips in his cheek. She knew she'd already pushed him too much but the public display of affection was a whole new level.

He tensed but then relaxed and let Natasha do whatever she wanted with him.

"I will print this out and put it in our bedroom." Natasha said happily.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her temple, "Whatever makes you happy, Natasha."

Natasha leaned into his touch and rested her head against his chest. She never ever thought Steve would allow her to do this outside the tower but he pulled her closer to the warmth of his body.

"Let's go to somewhere else, shall we?" She suggested.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I have one more place I would like to show you before we leave Brooklyn." Natasha said before getting up from her seat and pulled Steve with her.

"Is there any place in Brooklyn on your list?" He asked, a bit dazed that she picked Brooklyn too.

"Yeah, I was kinda surprise when you picked the place around here too."

"The soul mate thing…maybe."

"That explains it." She agreed.

The couple walked out of the milkshake joint. Natasha decided that they should stroll along the street so they could have the full nostalgic sense for him. Nat told him he will like the place.

"I haven't get a chance to exploring my old neighborhood since…" He spoke up as they walked pass the small flower stand.

"Since you 'thawed'" She smirked.

Steve gaped, "I was gonna say 'returned to active service', but I get your point."

"Tell me more about your 40's neighborhood."

"A couple blocks from here was the place I lived with my mother. I wonder if it changed that much or not."

"We can go check it out if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah! It's your 'homecoming' trip."

Sadness adorned his handsome face when she said those words. Natasha became alarmed at his reaction and knew that she said something wrong.

"What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" She grabbed his arm, looking at him worriedly, "It's about finding your place in this world, isn't it?"

"What do you know…you can go home again." He mumbled, avoided looking into her eyes.

Natasha cupped both hands at either side of his face and forced him to look at her "Steve…I don't have home just like you. But that was before I joined the Avengers. That tower is the only place that comes as near as the definition of home and family. Before that my life was all mission, kill or be killed, deceiving, lying, do everything to survive. When I'm with them…when I live inside that tower…it's the only place I can actually be me…be a human."

"I'm a lost soldier, Natasha." He said hopelessly, "Everything is gone, my friends are gone, I don't have a home to come back to anymore."

"You will find the place you called home one day, Steve. I'm sure about it."

"Thanks" He smiled gently at the woman in front of him.

They walked around the block and then they stopped in front of the building that made Steve's jaw drop.

"This…this…they still kept this place?" He asked, eyes widened, "This is where I lived back in the 40's"

"Yes, it is."

"My mom and I lived here. The news vendor on that corner gave me a dime a day to hawk the evening edition for him." He pointed to the stand across the street.

"Over there? Where the gluten free organic wraps stand is?"

"Yeah— heh. We didn't have those back in the old days. Or an internet cafe-slash-fair use coffee bar every twelve feet."

"It's called Starbucks, old man."

Natasha continued to tell him that his old house was turned into a museum and national historical site by the government right after the WWII. Steve was pretty excited to know that they preserved everything the way things were before he left for war.

Steve laughed before Natasha dragged him inside the building. Natasha showed the staff her SHIELD badge and demanded them that they need private time. Luckily, the staffs were able to keep people away to give them privacy. Steve had the excitement that she hadn't seen in a while. He dragged her around to show her everything, where he did his homework, where he built the blanket fort with Bucky, where his mom would bandaging him up.

"There are a lot of good memories at this place, huh?" She asked, couldn't help but feel happy to see her soul mate happy.

"Yeah, we didn't have much but I was happy with what I had." He replied, "I'm just wondering…did the government keep this place exactly the way it was?"

"Yes, why?"

"I think I should verify that statement." He said and grabbed her hand, dragging her upstairs. His blue eyes shown something akin to a 7 years old boy who was about to commit crime.

Natasha had to increase her pace to match his long strides, "What are you doing?"

"It's my house and there was something I hid here before I went to war."

He dragged her to the bedroom on the second floor. Steve's smiled widened when he saw his old bedroom was still the same when he left. She read from the file that Howard Stark and Peggy Carter wanted it to remain the same as a homage to Steve.

Steve was looking around and swiped his hand at the moldings.

"What the hell are you doing, Steve?" Natasha asked.

"I stashed something in the hidden drawer before I went to war." He told before pulling the said secret drawer.

He was true to his word that there was something stashed inside. Natasha stepped closer and take a look. Steve pulled out many random things.

"This is my mothers wedding ring." Steve said.

"It's beautiful."

"A bit vintage but it's hers." He pulled out his dog tags and put his mother ring along with it and continued to find the random things in the drawer.

"Aww, this is the cross necklace my mom had." He told and showed it to her. He released the hook and pulled out the gold medallion he kept in his jacket pocket. It was the gold medallion from their trip that Steve insisted he would like to keep it to himself. He put the medallion with the cross before turned to her, "I want you to have this."

Natasha was pretty shock to be honest but Steve gently put the necklace around her neck.

"It looks good on you, Natasha, as it looks good on my mothers neck." Steve said, "She would want you to have it."

"Steve…"

"It's yours now, soul mate."

"Thank you, soul mate."

They smiled happily at each other. Their faces were inches away from each other but Natasha pulled herself together and pressed her lips very near at the corner of his lips.

"Thank you, Steve."

* * *

><p>They had a very good day. They had a small fight over a little stupid thing over the fact that Steve should keep everything he found in the hidden drawer or not. Steve won anyway because they belonged to him but Natasha countered the term and said that Natasha will be the one picking their dinner.<p>

Natasha was on his back when they arrived at the living area after dinner. Everyone was quiet when they saw the couple walk in. Thor stood up. Mjolnir flew into his hand as if he would smite Steve with it.

"Is she hurt?" The thunder god asked. Thunder rumbled outside the window, "Did you hurt her?"

"No, of course not. She just tried." Steve replied, "We were doing a lot of things today."

"That is good to hear." Thor said, putting down his hammer and sitting down next to Jane.

Steve carried Natasha up to their room before he woke her up when they arrive. They took a shower separately before they climbed in bed together. Natasha kissed his cheek and said goodnight. Steve noticed that her hand slipping under the pillow again so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her out. She was struggled to get her hand out of his grip.

"Let go off the gun, Natasha." He whispered gently, "Let go off it. You have no need to hold the gun while you're asleep."

"I can't…what if…"

"We're both damaged, Natasha." Steve whispered "But we can help each other out."

"Steve, don't do this. If something happens, I have to…."

"You have me to shield you away from everything. You don't have to sleep with one eye open anymore. You have me. Nothing can harm us."

Natasha finally let go of the gun. Steve intertwined their hands together and felt Natasha relaxed in his arms.

"I will keep you safe. I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	14. The Feeling Inside

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

* * *

><p><strong>14 : The Feeling Inside<strong>

Natasha had the most comfortable sleep in her entire life because she didn't have to hold the gun in her hand or keep her eyes open all night. Steve held her in his arms all night and appeared in and out of her dreams and helped her to sleep in peace with his sweet words.

Natasha woke up and found her soul mate had already left their bed for sometime because the place beside her was cold but he was still inside her head to keep her company, to ensure that he was still there.

Natasha found Steve sitting on the couch in the living room, looking paler than usual. He sat still, eyes closed but the image of him was still in her head and he was smiling at her now.

"What are you doing, soul mate?" She asked and slid down on his laps. He still closed his eyes and kept sending images inside her head, "Stop it and open your eyes now, Steven."

"Okay" He said and opened his baby blues to look at her.

"I'm gonna ask you again. What are you doing?" Natasha asked, "It was like you are trying to appear in my head."

"So you feel me inside your head?" He was excited. His blue eyes lit up, "I was trying to prove my theory about us being inside each others head…like project myself inside your head."

"You did appear in my head." Natasha replied, "When I woke up and you were gone but I can still see the image of you inside my head."

"Really? I want to try again."

Her hands cupped each side of his face, "Some other time." She said, "You look like you didn't sleep at all."

"I slept last night but there was something coming up during the night…"

"Nightmare?"

Steve nodded, "Yes, it was just a glimpse but not a big deal."

"But you haven't had one in a month." She said, looking at him worriedly because she knew the last time he had a nightmare, he ended up in the hulk containment, almost completely losing his mind.

Steve sensed her discomfort so he kissed her cheek, "I'm okay, Natasha. It was just a flash. Nothing's serious and you don't have to worry." He assured.

"I'm glad to know." She said, "But what else is troubling your mind?"

Steve looked away and Natasha knew it was something that he felt guilty to ask her but he spoke up first.

"I was thinking about visiting Peggy at least once a week. I don't know how much longer she will be alive. From what she said it was the bond between me and her was the only thing that keeping her alive." Steve told her truthfully, "I didn't you to feel uncomfortable so I am asking you first. If you are not okay with it, I totally understand."

"Oh…Steve, you can go visit her as often as you want. I will go with you."

"Really? I mean…uhh…you are really okay with this?"

"Yes, I am."

"Thank you for the understanding."

"We will go visit her tomorrow. But now I'm really hungry and can you make those yummy things we saw on the TV last night."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

><p>The next day, Natasha found herself tangled in Steve's embrace and tried very hard not to move herself because he was still asleep. It was only 6 AM but someone needed to prepare some breakfast, right?<p>

But Steve's hold at her waist and shoulders was so strong even the Black Widow couldn't break it. It is just too comfy when you have that chest as your pillow so she will just lay here until her soul mate wakes up.

They will go visiting Peggy Carter today. If it was a month and a half ago, she would be very upset about this idea but now that she and Steve had been bonding and understanding each other more than before, she was finally okay with it.

She felt that Steve began to stir so she looked up to find his baby blue eyes staring at her and a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Morning." He greeted and kissed her forehead

She left herself up on her elbows and pressed a kiss on his cheek in return, "Morning, soul mate." She replied, "Maybe we should get up, take a shower and head off to Washington."

He easily complied and carried Natasha to her bathroom. The couple met up again in the living area before taking his motorcycle to DC. This time, it was different. There was no arguing or any pain occurring between them. They took a stop at a breakfast diner and brought a bouquet of flower before going to the retirement community.

"Hey, Peggy." Steve greeted when they stopped at her side.

"Steve…." She called with weak voice, "You're here too, Natasha."

"Yes, I am. Nice to see you again, Agent Carter."

Peggy looked at them and noticed that they were something changed between the couple.

"I see that you two are finally getting along." The old woman took note.

"Yes, we finally started bonding." Steve admitted, "I stopped being a jerk to her."

"Like I said, Steve. Once you let her in, everything will be just fine."

"You're always right, Peggy." Steve smiled shyly.

They helped Peggy out of her bed to her wheelchair so they could take her to the garden and had a talk about everything. Peggy went on and on about all the stupid and crazy things Steve did back in the 40's, how he always came up with the deadliest plan to take out HYDRA, and the two women had a good laugh about it.

For Steve, he was okay with Peggy and Natasha getting along well. He knew that Peggy only wanted the best thing for him and now he had Natasha. Steve occasionally defended himself but he knew his effort was futile when these two strong women teamed up on him.

They decided to take Peggy out for a small lunch nearby the retirement community before taking her back. By the time Steve put her back into bed, Peggy was already tired.

"I would love for both of you to come visit me again."

"Of course, Peggy. We will come visit you once or twice a week." Steve promised, "I'm sorry that I can't spend more time because I have to get ready for field work again."

"It's okay, Steve."

"See you again soon, Peggy." He kissed her forehead.

* * *

><p>It turned out to be one of the best days that they spent together. Steve brought Natasha back to New York and took her to one of the nice restaurants. They had a quiet dinner until they left the building and suddenly she was swamped by her fans. Luckily, no one noticed Steve and Natasha quickly jumped back on the bike with him and headed back to the Tower.<p>

Tony and Clint were making fun of them, of course. They said now that the couple finally go out in public and they must announce to the world that the Captain is alive. Natasha discarded all those comments and pulled her man up to their floor but Steve said he would hang back for a minute and have a talk with Clint about the training for tomorrow.

"See you upstairs." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before turning to Clint, "Be nice to him."

"I didn't do anything!"

She narrowed her eyes before walking away, leaving her boys to talk about their businesses. She was already in the bathtub when she heard a knock half an hour later.

"Come in!" She didn't bother open her eyes because she knew that it was her soul mate at the other side of the door.

"Natasha….God! I'm sorry. I thought you were not….in the bathtub….completely undressed like that." He covered his eyes and turned away. His face was deep red.

"It's okay, soul mate. I got all the bubbles covering me." She said.

"No! I will just leave you. I can wait."

"Turn. Now. And start talking" She commanded

Steve grudgingly turned and opened his eyes, "I just want to tell you that we will spar again tomorrow and I also have ranged weapon training with Clint."

"Be prepared for getting your ass kicked by me."

Steve smiled, "Of course…I will leave you to enjoy your bubble bath now and go take a shower."

They met up in their room half an hour later and went to sleep right away. Steve wrapped his huge arms around her protectively as always. Natasha relaxed in her sleep and forgot about everything while Steve wasn't having any nightmare.

* * *

><p>The morning soon arrived but Natasha didn't feel like getting up from her bed. She rolled over to find that her personal pillow was gone. She missed having his arms around her already and thought to herself, <em>where the hell is he?<em> She heard a noise from the kitchen silently crept her way there.

She found her soul mate was busying making her breakfast.

"What are you doing this early, Steven?"

"Awww…I was planning for a breakfast in bed." He cried, "Wait! Are you waking up because of the pain? Am I hurting you again?"

"No! No! I just couldn't find you in bed. That's all."

"Really?"

"Yes, I didn't feel any pain at all." She insisted, "And why exactly do you suddenly want to make me breakfast in bed."

She approached Steve who was currently leaning against the kitchen counter and stood in front of him.

He smiled softly at her, "I had a little conversation with Barton last night." He said, "I asked him about the training and some personal information about you. What you like the most in the morning? He said, '_you are a sucker for breakfast in bed_', so I'm trying to make you one."

"Aww, you're so sweet." Natasha said and, without thinking, she leaned up to press her lips on his. He was so sweet that she couldn't resist herself anymore.

Steve went frozen but began to relax and moved his lips with hers. He never felt lips this soft before and she tasted so sweet he certainly couldn't get enough of it. His hands fell to her hips and pulled Natasha closer. It felt so heavenly that Steve couldn't deny all the feelings babbling inside of him.

Natasha pulled away a little to look at him with a smirk, "Alright, I have a question for you." She said but Steve shook his head and pressed their lips together again. Natasha stopped him, "Of which you do not have to answer. I feel like if you don't answer it though, you're kind of answering it, you know?"

She was now teasing him and it was a bit irritating because all he wanted right now was to kiss her again. It might be better that he let Natasha finish talking, "What?"

"Was that your first kiss since 1945?"

He was a bit surprised, "That bad, huh?"

Natasha shrugged but her eyes twinkled, "I didn't say that."

"Well, it kind of sounds like that's what you're saying."

"No, I didn't. I just wondered how much practice you had."

"I don't need practice."

"Everybody needs practice."

"It was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm ninety-five, I'm not dead."

"Everyone needs some practice."

It was now his turn to smirk at her. He leaned closer. Hands cupped both sides of her face, "I could practice with you." His eyebrows even wiggled playfully

"Did Captain America just try to charm me?"

"A little"

"How many woman had you kissed before me? If you say I wasn't you first kiss."

"Private Lorraine and Peggy Carter." He answered truthfully, "But you're my first kiss in this century and I hope that you will be my last too."

Natasha smiled fondly at him, "If you let me, soul mate, I will be your last."

Steve replied to her with another kiss on the lips. His arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up on the countertop. Her legs bracketed around his hips, arms snaked up to his neck. Natasha had to admit that he was a damn good kisser. It came out naturally and he didn't need any practice. The kiss got more heated and they both lost count of time, savoring the perfect moment they had.

Natasha broke the kiss first. The kiss left her panting and she clung tight to him, "The breakfast…"

"Right" He agreed and released her from his embrace.

"I will wait in bed and pretend I am asleep and you will wake me up with the smell of waffles and a kiss, okay, soul mate?"

"Okay, Tasha." He replied and kissed her lips once again.

Natasha actually smiled into the kiss and leaned into his embrace, feeling their lips moving together in the perfect rhythm that all the times she had been kissed before meant nothing until now.

Natasha pulled away and Steve said, "Everything will be ready in 10 minutes."

"Thank you…" She replied, "My adorable beefcake"

Steve chuckled at the nickname she gave him. Natasha pecked a kiss and left the kitchen. Steve's eyes were following her until she was out of his sight. _How stupid of him to deny this?_ _To deny this soul mate thing? To deny that Natasha wasn't his? How fucking stupid was he?_ It was true to Dr. Banner's word that if he opened up and let her in, everything will fall perfectly in place and it will work out perfectly without a hitch.

He was so stupid to deny this and hurt Natasha but from now on, he will take care of her the way she deserves.

Twenty minutes later, he finished with the cooking and decorating the plate for them. He carried the breakfast tray inside their bedroom to find Natasha was actually asleep. He sat the tray down next to her before kneeling down next to her, pecking his lips on hers.

"Breakfast's ready." He said

Natasha stirred and rubbed her eyes, "I did actually fall asleep." She noted, "You were taking too long."

"I'm sorry. I just got carried away with the decoration."

"No worries, soul mate." She sat up and Steve sat the tray on her laps, "It's nice, Steve. It's really beautiful."

She smiled and they began to eat in silence. It was really delicious. He poured her a cup of freshly brew coffee too before pouring himself a glass of milk. When the breakfast was done, Steve sat everything on the floor next to their bed before they resumed their make out session. Steve gently pushed her down on her back and climbed on top of her.

His lips tasted like honey he just ate with his waffle while her must have tasted like a chocolate, whip cream and strawberry. Judging by the way his lips devouring hers, he must really like the taste of her lips.

_Well, well, she was making out with Captain America._

* * *

><p>"Steve! Wake up!"<p>

Natasha continuously poking at her soul mate to wake him up from his deep sleep but it seemed not to work so she began to shake his large frame. Steve mumbled something in protest and trying to push her away.

"Go away." He groaned and rolled over to the other side, "You kicked my ass yesterday in the gym. I'm still very tired."

Yes, they sparred right after they finished with the making out session yesterday. Natasha kicked his ass again. Steve still felt a bit off with his fighting style and his shield wasn't fitting him as usual. He almost hit her with the shield but Natasha was quick enough to dodge. After that he just quit fighting because he was afraid of hurting her.

"Come on, wake up, soul mate." She purred near his ear, "I just came up with another 'Distance Theory' and I want to test it before we get back in the field."

He turned to her and opened his eyes to see her beautiful smile. Natasha knew she got his attention.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure if I'm correct or not. Bruce said that there isn't any specific theories about soul mates and every couple will have a very unique characteristic. I had been thinking about this and complied all the evidence I have encountered first handed. We still have the distance limit but I think it had an exception."

"What exception?"

"If we don't psychologically need one another." Steve frowned, trying to follow what she said. Natasha continued to explain, "If our mind and soul doesn't scream for one another, I think we could stay away from each other in a great amount of distance until our minds start to seek one another."

"Your theory might be right." He agreed.

"So get up from the bed. We're going out!"

"Okay."

Steve slowly got out their bed but Natasha wasn't patient enough so she pushed him off the bed and Steve fell off. Natasha laughed and quickly ran back to her bathroom before Steve could react. He just laughed happily and went to the bathroom.

Natasha took him to Central Park. She dragged him along to path way, looking happy as she could be. The bright smile of her face made her looks younger. It was like all the burden she carried on shoulders was gone. She was laughing as they were running through the park to find some place where they could do the experiment.

"Okay, we will walk to the opposite direction…as far as we can. Just try not to think about one another, okay?" She said, "You gonna be alright, Steve."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Steve asked, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Of course! We have to try this so we can survive in the field."

"If we're in the field I will be thinking about you a lot."

"That's why we need to train, Steven! Stop procrastinating and begin to walk away."

Steve begrudgingly turned away from her and started walking. Natasha too was walking away from him and held a Stark Phone in her hand to measure the distance they could take for the separation. They could now separate for 500 meters and it was far better than she originally thought. With these newfound theory, it could help them get back in the field. When she was about to reach 600 meters, she made a mistake of thinking about her soul mate and how he was doing right now. The pain began to babbling underneath her skin and another 10 seconds later, Steve was at her side, holding her in his arms.

"Are you alright?" He asked, worry shown clearly on his face.

"How do you know?"

"The pain." He replied, "I felt the equal pain as you are now, Natasha, remember?"

"Yeah."

"So…what's trigger the pain?"

"It confirmed my theory. If we emotionally need one another, it will trigger the pain to alarm one another."

"So you suggested that we should stop thinking about one another? It's not going to work because I can't stop."

Natasha smiled at the statement, "I love to hear you say something nice."

"It's fact, Natasha. I can control it for a short amount of time but my soul will reach out for you."

"We will figure it out, Rogers. We can do this together."

He wasn't sure about that and Natasha knew it right away just by looking at his expression.

"Steve, if it was up to me to save your life, and be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?" She asked. Beautiful green eyes staring at him. She wanted a truthful answer. She needed to hear it from him.

Steve looked at her right into her eyes. It was nothing but sincerity, "I would now." That was his reply and her face lit up instantly, "And I'm always honest." He leaned closer until their face were mere inch away, "We can make it because you trust me and I trust you."

"I know." She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips.

They could make it. She knew. And now that they didn't do it alone anymore. They had each other.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**- How was it? How was their first kiss?**

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


	15. The First Mission

**Thank you for your review from the previous chapter :)**

* * *

><p><strong>15 : The First Mission<strong>

Maria had informed the couple that they will be evaluated of their readiness in two weeks and the soldier and the spy must pass the test before getting back in the field together.

So Steve and Natasha decided that they would keep themselves inside the tower for two weeks, training as hard as they could. Natasha's brutal methods worked on him. She pushed Steve hard but he could keep up with her the way normal people couldn't. He could wield his shield without any problems now and it felt almost normal.

Clint and Tony took a great pleasure betting on who's going to win the match and by far, neither of them were winning. Steve adapted Natasha's fighting style and she adapted his. They learned from one another and now they were so in sync that they could melt into one.

Bruce had JARVIS recorded every time the couple spar so he could analyze them properly. He was more interested in how they seemed to know and understand each other's move. The doctor suggested that it must be related to the soul mate thing.

Thor, on the other hand, was very eager to get in the ring so he could have a chance to fight with the legendary soldier of Midgard. He marveled at how the two people, with a size difference could fight equally.

Other team members also took their part in the training too. Clint, Tony, and Natasha thought him to use modern weaponry and espionage techniques. Tony insisted he would make a boot jet for the captain, which Steve politely declined.

They were finally ready for the evaluation. Natasha told Steve to go to sleep early last night and he did as she said but he had to hold her in his arms too. They ended up sleep in and Clint had to wake them up the next morning. The couple jumped out of their bed and got ready for everything within 15 minutes.

Finally, Maria Hill and Coulson came into the living room where everyone was waiting. The evaluation would take place in the simulation room of the tower but with the scenario designed by SHIELD, especially made for the super soldier and super spy. Tony let the two SHIELD agent to the control center while Bruce escorted the soldier and the spy to the simulation room.

They changed into their combat gear before stepping inside the room.

"Are you ready?" Natasha asked and slipped her hand into his.

"Yes" He nodded and kissed the back of her hand lightly.

They took the stance before the room slowly changed into the simulation scene. They were standing on the quinjet together. Maria and Coulson appeared on the screen and gave them the information they needed for this mission. Steve and Natasha started planning and dividing their work.

"This is an easy one." Natasha said, "We can do it with our eyes closed."

"I don't think so."

"It's just an expression."

They jumped out of the quinjet together. Steve swept the perimeter and took off the defense while Natasha snuck inside the building to secure the file. They worked so well together it was as if they had been doing this for a very long time.

Finally, Steve met up with Natasha after knocking out all the guards outside the building.

"Got the file you want?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I did." She showed him the small flash drive in her hands.

"It's too easy. There is nothing this easy." Steve became alarmed by that fact. Natasha too was getting ready for something to go off any second, "We better move out."

They took the exit and headed for the elevator.

"The quinjet will circle back to pick us up in five minutes." Natasha told.

"We got company." Steve said. Natasha turned to see a group of armed men headed to the elevator. Steve quickly pulled Natasha in his arms, "Hold on"

She wrapped her arms around him as Steve slammed his shield and cut the elevator wire, sending them down fast with the elevator. Natasha thought it was a very bad idea but she trusted him. He knew what he was doing. They elevator stopped between floors. Steve pulled the door opened to find another squad heading their way.

"We have no where to go." Nat said.

"We have but you're not going to like it." Steve replied and looked out the window to measure the height of their current position to the ground.

"No!"

"It's our only way and you have to trust me."

Natasha paused her protest for a second before taking his hand.

"I will jump out the window first and you have to be right behind me. I will catch you midair and we will land on my shield." Steve explained, "Are you okay with this plan?"

She looked back at him with no fear in her eyes, "Yeah, it's gonna be fun!"

Steve smiled at her and thought, _yeah, this is totally his kind of girl._ Steve took a deep breath before looking at Natasha one last time. She nodded and he jumped off the building with Natasha following right behind. He caught her in his arms and did everything he could to get her away from his shield clad left arms to avoid any impact.

They landed hard on the ground but the shield absorb all the impact. Steve groaned quietly and she felt his pain. She got up and pulled him up with her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, let's go" He grabbed her hand and ran to the quinjet landing area.

Once they were inside the quinjet, the simulation ended and the room turned back to the empty room as usual.

Steve turned to Natasha, "You think we passed the test?"

She smiled, "Sure!"

Steve nodded. Their teammates came down to meet them.

"Congratulation, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff." Maria said as she and Coulson stepped toward the couple.

"We will come back with the result in three days." Coulson continued.

* * *

><p>The couple waited patiently but they didn't stop their training and Natasha wasn't taking it easy on Steve at all. She always came up with a new way to put him on his back. On the third day of the waiting, Coulson finally came with the result. The Captain and the spy anxiously stood in the living room, waiting for Coulson to open the envelope. It was like the agent were teasing them.<p>

"Open the damn envelop, Coulson!" Natasha was the first one to lose her patience.

"Alright" Phil slowly opened it and read the paper out loud, "You passed the test and Fury already signed this form so it is official that both of you are back in the game now."

"Yessss!" Nat raised her fists in the air.

"And there is something that the director sent for both of you too. You can consider it as a gift from SHIELD and your teammates."

Tony, Thor and Clint stepped aside to reveal new uniforms for both of them. Steve had a dark blue strike suit with SHIELD logo and his red, white, and blue uniform with Avengers logo. Natasha was having the black cat suit with SHIELD logo and the black cat suit with red trims and Avengers logo.

"We will contact you two again when we have a mission for you."

The team celebrated with the couple for passing the evaluation. Tony ordered every kind of food and drink imaginable for the team because he knew how Thor, Clint and Steve could devour everything. He also invited everyone including Coulson and Hill too. Fury declined because he thought he would be a buzz kill for the team.

They were all drinking and arguing over the fact about who is worthy enough to carry Thor's hammer. Steve and Natasha, who was sitting on his lap, were just ignore everything and ate their pizza and drank beer.

"Whosoever, be he worthy, shall have the power", whatever man! It's a trick! It's a circus sideshow, and that is it! And you know it!" Clint said drunkenly

"It's much more than that, my friend." Thor replied and handed Steve another bottle of beer.

Tony got up from his seat between Pepper and Rhodey, feeling it was a challenge for him. Pepper tried to stop her life mate but his hand was already at the hammer.

"If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?" Tony asked and everyone laughed

"Yes, of course." Thor smiled and gestured his hand to the hammer.

"I will be fair, but firmly cruel."

"No, I'm sure."

Tony pulled hard. His face faltered when it didn't even move in the slightest. He tried again but nothing worked.

"JARVIS! Send me my armor!" Tony called for help and his armor flew to attach to his body instantly. He tried again but nothing happened so Rhodey got up, assembled his own suit and helped Tony with it.

"Are we even pulling?" Rhodey asked

"Are you on my team?"

"Just represent! PULL!"

The two tried one last time before they gave up. Tony turned to Steve immediately.

"Come on, cap! Who could possibly be worthier than you?"

"Alright." Steve accepted the challenge.

"You can do it." Natasha encouraged and peck a kiss on his lips.

Steve got up from his seat and went to the hammer. He looked at it and wrapped his hands around it before pulling it. He managed to budge it a little but he noticed the falter on Thor's face. He released his hand a little before trying to pull it again but gave up and sat back down on the couch.

Thor chuckled, "Nothing…."

Natasha climbed back on his laps, looped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, "You're doing great, soul mate. At least you managed to budge it a little." Steve leaned into her touch and felt that she was comforting him in his mind.

Clint got up and tried to pull it but he gave up at his first try.

Bruce gestured to Natasha. She quickly shook her head and leaned into Steve's body, "That's not a question I need answering." She looked at Steve who was obviously confused of why she didn't try. He was so cute looking lost. She knew he wanted to ask so she silenced him with a kiss.

Everyone whistled when they saw the Captain and the spy make out. Then the competition went on and on but no one managed to lift up the hammer. Tony got up from his seat and came up with another theory.

"It's biometrics, right? Like a security code? "_Whoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints_" is, I think, the literal translation."

Thor got up from his seat too and tossed his hammer cockily, "Yes, well that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one: You are not worthy."

Everybody in the room groaned. Clint struck his tongue at the god. Steve held Natasha in his arms happily drinking and eating with his new family. The sudden realization hit him and Natasha, who seemed to also feel that thought, turned to him and gave him a warm smile.

Yeah, some part of him finally accepted this new life now. It wasn't that bad as he originally thought.

_It was all because of Natasha._

* * *

><p>It was Sunday and the couple wasn't planning on getting out of their bed before noon. Natasha was the first to wake up and couldn't resist waking up Steve by kissing him repeatedly on the lips until she felt his lips moving with her. And now Steve was pinning her down on the bed.<p>

"What did you do to me, woman?" He growled against her lips as they were furious made out on their bed.

"Maybe it has something to do with the soul mate thing." She replied with a smile against his lips.

"It's really hard to stop." Steve admitted "To be honest, I don't want to stop."

"Me either."

They continued to devour each other and it was getting hot and heavy real fast because Steve was on top of her, Nat could do nothing but moan into his mouth.

But the sudden ring of their phone made them both groan. Steve reached out for his phone and put it on speaker.

"Agent Hill" Steve greeted

"Agents! We need you at the Triskellion ASAP." And the message was cut.

Nat looked into Steve's eyes and smiled gently, "Looks like it's our first mission together."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Indian Ocean<em>**

The quinjet was flying over the Indian Ocean the duo were with SHIELD agents, led by Brock Rumlow.

"The target is a mobile satellite launch platform: The Lemurian Star. It was sending up their last payload when pirates took them, ninety-three minutes ago." Rumlow said.

"Any demands?" Steve asked.

"A billion and a half."

"Why so steep?"

"Because it SHIELD's."

Steve turned to Natasha, slightly frowned. He could sense something off about this mission and it raised his suspicion, "So it's not off course, it's trespass."

"I'm sure they have a good reason." Natasha tried to calm him down but Steve still stiffened up, "Relax, it's not that complicated."

Steve let go as she said and turned back to Rumlow, "How many pirates?"

"Twenty-five, top mercs, led by this guy. Georges Batroc." Rumlow replied and he showed them a photo of Batroc on the monitor, "Ex-TGSE, Action Division. He's at the top of Interpol's "red notice". Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions. This guy's got a rep for maximum casualties."

"Hostages?"

"Uh...mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell." Rumlow pulled the photo of Sitwell on the monitor, "They're in the galley."

"What's Sitwell doing on a launch ship?" He sighed, "Alright, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you'll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to life pods. get 'em out. Let's go."

"STRIKE, you heard the Captain. Gear up!"

Steve was finishing up preparing and heading to the hatch. Then Natasha felt something tingling under her skin and before Natasha could say anything, Steve turned to her with a bright smile on his face.

"See you down there, soulmate." With that, he jumped off the quinjet without a parachute.

"Steve!" She called after, afraid that Steve might get hurt.

After jumping out the jet, Steve dived into the ocean and then climbed onto the ship, he then beat everyone on the deck swiftly before anyone raised the alarm when he was interrupted by one of the pirates pointing his gun at him.

"Don't move!" The pirates said and Steve went still; then he was shot dead by Rumlow as he parachuted down onto the deck behind Steve.

"Thanks." Steve nodded at his teammate.

"Yeah. You seemed pretty helpless without me." The agent joked.

Natasha and another agent parachuted down onto the deck to join them. The Black Widow quickly got to her soul mate and walked besides him.

"What should we do this saturday night?" She asked

"Secure the engine room, then we can talk about this weekend date." He replied with a little smile of his face.

"I'm multitasking!" She retorted before jumping down to the lower deck.

Natasha silently sneaking around to find her way to the engine room. She heard someone talk in French so she followed the voice until she found the pirate who was talking on the phone about the engine room. The guy turned and saw the redhead who smiled slyly at him.

"Hey, sailor" She could tell that the guy was in shock so she quickly knocked him down and managed to swing down below deck shooting several of the pirates on the way before taking off to the engine room.

Everyone radioed to Steve that they were in position. Steve too was observing Batroc and waiting for Natasha's respond.

"Natasha, what's your status?" He asked. Everyone could notice the worries in his voice but there was no response from her, "Status, Natasha?"

"Hang on!"

All Steve could hear from that was a sound of beating and punching and pirates screaming in pain but it all ended within 10 seconds.

"Engine room secure."

"On my mark. Three. Two. One."

The STRIKE team started shooting at the pirates, blew open the door and Rumlow quickly killed the head pirate and rescued all the hostage out of the galley. Steve moved fast and smashed in through the window using his shield but Batroc managed to escape. Steve quickly followed the mercenary.

"Hostages enroot to extraction. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Captain. Hostiles are still in play." Rumlow reported through their comm.

Rumlow's word made Steve worried about his soul mate. His fear increased and his soul was now screaming for her. He thought of the worst and began to move faster to locate Batroc to complete his mission and then he would go to find Natasha.

"Natasha, Batroc is on the move. Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages." But there was no reply from Natasha. Steve's worry tripled, "Natasha!"

Suddenly, Batroc attacked Steve. They fought on the deck of the ship, with Batroc getting quickly back up on his feet. Steve stared at the mercenary and put on his stance.

"(_I thought that you were more than just a mask._)"

Steve narrowed his eyes but realized it was a challenge. He put the shield on his back and took off his mask, "On va voir"

They started fighting again. Steve managed to finally knock Batroc down by smashing through into one of the rooms. He looked up to find Natasha, safe and sound, was downloading something from the computer.

She smirked at him, "Well, this is awkward."

"What are you doing?" His voice hard and firm, demanding the answer.

"Backing up the hard drive. It's a good habit to get into."

"Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing here?" Steve went over to Natasha and looked at what Natasha is backing up, "You're saving SHIELD Intel."

"Whatever I can get my hands on."

"Our mission is to rescue hostages."

"No. That's your mission." She finished backing up and pulled the flash drive out. Turning to him, she smirked again, "And you've done it beautifully."

Natasha went to leave but Steve grabbed her arm, "You just jeopardized this whole operation."

"I think that's overstating things."

Suddenly, a group of pirates burst into the room and fired their gun at them. Steve quickly moved himself to shield Natasha from the line of fire by using himself. One pirate managed to hit his arms and Steve screamed in pain. Natasha felt it too but she couldn't do anything but cling tight to him. Steve used his shield to deflect the bullets. Batroc rose and threw a grenade at the two as he ran off with his pirates. Steve deflected the bomb with his shield, grabbed Natasha and jumped through a window before it exploded. He made sure that Natasha landed on his body to avoid any injury for her. They moved quickly to find a better cover. Steve peaked his head up to find that there was no one in the room.

Natasha panted heavily, "Okay. That one's on me."

"You damn right." Steve got up and left in anger.

Natasha knew she was wrong in this situation so she went after him but she couldn't match his long pace as Steve stomped out the helipad where the quinjet was parking. The team moved the hostage in the first quinjet.

"Cap, you are injured." Rumlow noted.

"I'll live."

"You and Romanoff can head back with this one. Rollins and I will take care here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead. We will wrap it all up anyway."

Steve nodded a thank you and headed inside the quinjet without waiting for his soul mate. Natasha quickly followed, knowing she had to apologize to him and explained everything. She found Steve in the cockpit, ordering the pilots that they will leave in 5 minutes.

When he turned to see her, he frowned and walked right past her to the seat near the hatch. His right arm still bleeding. Natasha knelt down in front of him but Steve averted his eyes, not even looking at her. His eyes filled with disappointment that made her heart ache.

"I'm sorry, Steve."

"Save it. You're doing your job. I understand." His voice was cold and distance and suddenly Nat felt like they were back at square one again, "But I thought we were soul mates. We supposed to tell each other everything. The same way I tell you everything."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Steve. It was part of the mission. I didn't mean to upset you." Guilt took over her and Steve softened when he saw her reaction.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes, "I am upset because you didn't tell me about the mission. I know that you have a more covert operation but I'm your soul mate. Your wellbeing is my duty. I need to know at least what you will be doing in case something went wrong so I can get to you right away."

"I know."

He pulled her on his laps and winced a little when the wound in his arm contacted with his uniform, "I'm sorry for lashing out at you like that. I just worried and, Natasha, I cannot lose you. That's the main reason why I'm so upset. Because if anything happens to you, I will blame myself for the rest of my life."

Natasha leaned in and kissed him on the lips as if she was trying to say she was sorry and thank you at the same time. The pain on his left's arms was gone for a moment when his focus was on her. They continued kissing until someone coughed loudly and they broke away and found that everyone was staring at them.

Natasha covered it all up by getting off his laps, "I will tend to your wound."

Steve gave her a smile and let his soul mate do whatever she wanted. She pulled the bullet out and then began to wrap a bandage around his arm to stop the bleeding.

"I will keep the bullet to have Bruce analyze it in case it was coated with poison or anything."

Natasha sat on his laps with his arms wrapped around her waist the whole way back to the tower. The pilot dropped them off first before taking the hostage to the Triskellion. Bruce took them to the medical center while Tony let JARVIS ran the analysis on the bullet.

Bruce patched him up nicely as the result came in.

_"It is a normal bullet, sir. No sign of poison or any chemical substance coated on the bullet. From my calculation, Captain's wound will heal within a day or two."_

"Thank you, JARVIS." Bruce said, "You two should go clean up and get some rest."

"Thank you. Doctor." Steve took the bullet from Bruce's hand, "I will keep this as a token of the first time I took a bullet for my soul mate."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**-Thanks to my proofreader, eilishslittleuniverse**

**-Please kindly leave a review.**


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